~VENT thread~

[~LS~]

Originally Posted by Pookypeds

You have a family life similar to mine. My mother died in 2004 and my father in 1987. All my life my parents chose to treat me badly and make me the scapegoat for all their problems. I truly was hated by them. My mother was a chronic liar and couldn't tell the truth about anything! I was always lied about by my mother ever since I was a small child! (I'm now 56 years old) I always knew she lied about everything about me but I was shocked about a year ago finding out some other major lies she told about me when I was a teen! I was molested at 13 by my grandfather, and it was done right in front of my mother and she didn't say a thing or try to stop it. She just watched! At 16, I was raped continuously by an older relative in our home. Nothing was really done about it. All during my teen years I didn't socialize much and definitely didn't date at all. So my time was spent being an excellent student making A's and B's in high school plus having babysitting jobs after school. I found out last year through another relative that my mother told everyone that I was a promiscuous slut running around all over after school and got myself into "trouble" in my midteens. This was an outrageous lie she told to "protect the family" from anything I would tell about. This one relative asked me last year "why did I run around and start having babies so young?" (I had my first child at age 21!) I asked her what are you talking about? She says "your mother said you ran around in your early teens and had a baby at 15!" I was so shocked! But I knew she was telling me truthfully what she heard and she told me alot more lies that my mother was telling everyone, even right up til she died! I've only scratched the surface of the lies my mother told about me. And because of all these horrible lies, I have no relationships at all with any relatives Even my 2 oldest daughters were told these lies and that has ruined our relationships too because they even believed those lies. My mother did horrible, permanent damage to me and I have no family because of her. So it's just me and my husband and my 2 younger kids who are in their 20's, and my chihuahuas who are my family. I've tried reaching out to all others in my family, but it's never worked because of the tremendous lies my mother told. I just can't believe all these people in my family of relatives believe it all! It's so mind-boggling! My oldest daughter has my only 2 grandchildren and because of my mothers' horrific lies that my daughter believes, I don't have a relationship with her or my 2 grandkids. My daughter is the one choosing to have nothing to do with me because she believes what her grandma told her. This kills me, this not having any family relationships because I've always wanted and craved a big, happy family, and it's never going to be. And now, since I have chihuahuas, my oldest daughter is saying (wrongly, of course!) that I have chosen my dogs over her and my other older daughter! Of course that is bull***t! My family/relatives really bring me down and hurt me and that is my vent! I just can't understand why people are so gullible and believe lies that are so outrageous! And, of course it all hurts alot around the holidays. Well....this is one vent. I'll have lots more to tell about at another time.

I'm sorry to hear that. Your post made me cry, it brought up some very well
hidden memories about my childhood. I was a rape victim as well, and it has
scarred me for life. It messed me up bad, I went through severe depression
that lasted many years, it was near the time my father died, and I did not
receive any counseling or was even allowed to talk about it. It was done by a
family friend.

As for the relationship between my mother and I it is very complex, and
because I am so desperate for her approval I forgave her for what she has
put me through during my life, and I have not stopped trying to make her
happy and make her love me, but she has a new family and is not responding
to my attempts. I've always been the perfect daughter to her, good grades,
cleaned the home, cooked, worked, gave her all of my earnings, respected
her, loved her. It saddens me to know what you have gone through, I can't
imagine your pain. I can imagine that years go by, but the pain remains. When
such traumatic events take place, we never forget, we are lucky if we are
able to move on. You and I are lucky to have husbands and our fur babies
around us, it is comforting.

[~LS~]

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Hey ladies & gents, please feel free to post any
vent you might have, be it small or big, funny or
sad, it's all welcome! Please don't get spooked by
sensitive subjects, it's all part of life, we live, we
endure, we learn, we move on. Things happen.
Lets get the frustrations off our chests and perhaps
even support our forum friends through their tough days!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Amanda Kennedy]

have i got mug on my forhead?????
i work in a preschool, my boss/ friend has been in the US for one month having a ball while im working her shifts while shes away. not only that i had to do all the paperwork, banking ect, for not an extra cent, i will get time off for the extra hours, but not the extra responsibilities. she also never paid me any cheques for the time we were off over the christmas, but yet payslips were issued, so i paid myself out of cash. well the face of her to day when i was going through everything with her, but she didnt say a word, because i knew she was pulling a fast one.
10;15 pm tonight she calls me and asks me to come into tomorrow as the mother that usually does my days off cannot come in, she doesnt get paid but her child comes for free. my boss tells me she was in her house for 2 hours . my son has the flu and is off school, so i told her no. im just so mad over this, i hope im not over reacting, but if there is any athmosphere on wednesday, im walking, iv had enough

[appleblossom]

Why do people love someone who will never love them back? I keep setting myself up to be hurt why cant I accept that he will never love me & move on instead of falling back in love with him. I sit here crying once again blaming myself for being so stupid. ON top of all that there was a creepy crawly lizard ( I am deathly afraid of them) in my bathroom that I had to track down & kill which threw me into having a panic attack & even through I killed it Im afraid of the bathroom now. I cant stop crying & shaking oh what a bad night Im having sure hope tomorrow is better

[~LS~]

Originally Posted by appleblossom

Why do people love someone who will never love them back? I keep setting myself up to be hurt why cant I accept that he will never love me & move on instead of falling back in love with him. I sit here crying once again blaming myself for being so stupid. ON top of all that there was a creepy crawly lizard ( I am deathly afraid of them) in my bathroom that I had to track down & kill which threw me into having a panic attack & even through I killed it Im afraid of the bathroom now. I cant stop crying & shaking oh what a bad night Im having sure hope tomorrow is better

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this sweetie.
Relationships can be so complex at times, I understand where you are coming
from, just leaving is not as easy as it may seem to the outsider. Are you two
in an actual relationship or not?(I ask because I don't know better and can only assume)
And you are not stupid, you are human. But I will tell you one thing, you are worth only
the best, you deserve to have someone who will be just as crazy about you as
you are about them, if not more. I hope your night gets better, don't be shy
to stick around and chat, my day is pretty crappy too, but not in the same
way, but I truly sympathize. I know it is not easy. Hugs.

[appleblossom]

To tell you the truth Im not sure what we are (sad I know lol) We have a child together so I think that is a huge reason i want to be with him I want my happily ever after but sadly I dont think it will ever be with him he is more a butthead in tin foil than a real knight in shining armor, he is a cheater so its hard to trust him especially when he seems to have no time for me & wont make any ( he works 2 jobs) Yet he will do things for me that make me think he cares then he goes all butt head again. He is pissed at something I said that I shouldnt have & is pretty much avoiding me & when he does talk to me he is short with his words. Tonight I asked him if he still wanted to be an us & he said what us we are nothing. So I held back my tears while on the phone, no way will he see or hear me cry this time & then we hung up & I let it all out..

[~LS~]

Originally Posted by appleblossom

To tell you the truth Im not sure what we are (sad I know lol) We have a child together so I think that is a huge reason i want to be with him I want my happily ever after but sadly I dont think it will ever be with him he is more a butthead in tin foil than a real knight in shining armor, he is a cheater so its hard to trust him especially when he seems to have no time for me & wont make any ( he works 2 jobs) Yet he will do things for me that make me think he cares then he goes all butt head again. He is pissed at something I said that I shouldnt have & is pretty much avoiding me & when he does talk to me he is short with his words. Tonight I asked him if he still wanted to be an us & he said what us we are nothing. So I held back my tears while on the phone, no way will he see or hear me cry this time & then we hung up & I let it all out..

Cheating takes so much out of you, it shatters your self esteem, I know, I've
been there. You wonder if you can ever trust the person again, and you
become paranoid. It is unbearable. Only you have the power to decide
whether you stay and work on it or walk out. When you have years behind
you and a child, the decision is far from easy. Us women we are too nurturing,
too caring at times, too forgiving. He definitely does not deserve all of your
forgiveness. And you deserve to be treated like the queen that you are. With
that being said, I believe people can change. He may never change his ways,
or he may turn around completely, there is no way of knowing, so whatever
you decide you are taking a chance. Just remember that you deserve respect,
and if you are not given any you must demand it. You are not worthless, and
you will not be doomed without him, he needs to know that. Put yourself and
your child's safety and security first, then make your decision. I wish you only
the best, it is heartbreaking to hear that you are suffering like this.

[appleblossom]

I often wonder if I can trust anyone ever again there are many days that I can't even trust myself I always seem to make bad decisions with my heart. I think I know deep down that we can never really be together but I don't want to believe it