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  #1  
Old 12-19-2012, 12:02 AM
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Default feeling down

I hate to come on here and blab all my problems but I need to get this off my chest.

So we're here, in Japan. I am excited and happy for this chance, but all I can think about is how I'm stuck here for 3 years. I can't even really travel because there is NO ONE here that I know, or trust to watch the dogs and Taji. I'm currently looking for a permanent sitter, but in the mean time, I can only think about one thing...

..I'm just about to graduate with my undergraduate degree. I had plans to go to either go to medical school or nursing school, some kind of graduate program. But I can't do that here. Online programs are not an option because they are very much frowned upon in the medical school. After extensive research, I've been told by many hospitals and clinics that if I were up for a position against someone who received training in a traditional face to face class room, I would NOT be picked for the job. So after speaking with many doctors and nurses, an online program would be a total waste of time and money.

Pretty much all of my friends back in the states are starting their graduate programs in the next few months. I am so sad, jealous even. We're all around the age of 27..so here they are, getting ready to start their programs and be done and working by age 30. Here I am, not even able to start the damn program until age 30, possibly 31. I want to cry. I have on a few occasions. I don't want to be a 35 year old student balancing school and possibly kids. I dread that idea, but I think that's what's going to happen if I want to go in to a graduate program. And I absolutely want to attend a graduate medical program, no doubt about it.

So long story shortened, I can't even start a program until 2016, assuming that I can get in. I hate that, HATE it. I hate that all of my friends are all beginning this new chapter and I'm stuck in the background watching. There are many student/doctor forums that I'm on and everyone says to use these next 3 years to gain personal and professional experiences. I get that, and that's what I am going to do, but still doesn't change the fact that I have to put off my dream and path that all of my friends are beating me to.

There is a Navy hospital here. I am meeting with two doctors today just to see if there are any possible volunteer or shadowing opportunities that I can get in. That would look great on a resume. I feel like I should at least be doing that, but still all I can think about it how I'm STUCK here watching everyone else pass me.
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  #2  
Old 12-19-2012, 12:43 AM
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Okay, girl. You know I try to avoid all of the non-Chi posts. WAY too much I would like to say and know that I should not. Too frustrating for me.

That said, you are close to the age of my kids (they are 28 and 29) so I am going to talk to you like I would them.

I am not going to say anything you do not already know or anything that friends/peers on the other forums have said.

My kids are independent and live on their own. I am grateful for that. It is healthy and it is appropriate. They are becoming the minority. SOOOO many your, and their, age are still living with their parents, like students-not paying their way and staying up all night playing video games.

You have to grasp the way your world has opened up. Some your age are afraid to drive places far from their parent's house and you are on the other side of the world. Your world is MUCH bigger now. THAT is valuable. I hire people, for a major U.S. corporation and your time and experience abroad would be very appealing to me if you were being considered with others who had not had that opportunity!

Your education is happening. It WILL happen. It is just deferred. Again. MANY your age are without education and many not bothering to get jobs. That is not you and you need to be proud of that.

I would absolutely look (as you have suggested) for ways to learn while in a job there that will, again, only make you more appealing to medical schools and employers later.

Plan. Do you know where you will be in 3 years? Can you start looking at programs, researching and planning? Relish and utilize the time.

3 years seems like a lot of time at your age. It is a blink at mine! Before you know it, you will be out of school and at your career for nearly 28 years just like me.

You are so full of promise and potential. How in the world can you be discouraged knowing that??
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  #3  
Old 12-19-2012, 01:11 AM
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Karen, I do hear what you're saying about the kids my age still living at home. My brother is one of those people. I think those are the same people who are okay with driving a busted car or living day to day. I want nice things. I want to be able to afford to build my dream house. I think that is the difference in people like them and people like me. I know that I will eventually get there and be done with the program, I'm just feeling like I'm being left behind from where I've always fit in, ya know?

One guy on one of the forums said to me, "why are you in Japan? You should be in the states doing your classes, you shouldn't be there with your husband." I'm battling that as well. I can't even fathom leaving Brandon here alone and going back to the states to do my schooling. The thought has crossed my mind but I don't think that is a fair option to either of us. We'd both be lonely and honestly, I don't think that would be very honorable of me. I married him knowing we'd be moving everywhere. That's on another subject though.

I know that I need to stop comparing myself to my friends who are passing me. Eventually I will get there, I do know that. I'm just struggling with feeling like I'm not able to be productive here and feeling like I'm wasting my years away. I want to get past this. Maybe this afternoon, these docs I'm meeting with can offer some perspective being in the fact that they are here too.

We have no idea where we're going to be in 3 years. In the states, yes, but it could be Virginia, California, Washington, North Carolina, or Florida. One of those most likely. I am trying to make a plan but it's hard. I'm looking into seeing if I can complete an accelerated BSN program online. It'd be 1 year instead of 2. They do exist but I'm not sure if I'd be able to get into any reputable master degree programs with an online BSN. I do plan on emailing multiple schools and asking them their policy on this.
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Old 12-19-2012, 01:45 AM
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I would suggest that you don't waste your time or money on an online BSN program. Sitting at a computer just isn't going to cut it for nursing school. You have to be in the seminars, in the labs, in the clinicals... talking to your professors and to the auxiliary staff (RT, PT, techs, etc) and getting real life experience with nurses and doctors. It just isn't the same. There's not going to be any 'weight' to that kind of degree.

So since nursing school or medical school isn't possible right now since you are in Japan, then look at alternatives. Can you learn the language? There's value to being bi-lingual in the medical field. How about volunteering? Ya know.. helping others can sure bring a fresh new perspective. Look at what service opportunities there are.

I assume your hubby is military? Look at what programs they have on base. There's gotta be other young wives in the same boat as you. Get out there, meet people, immerse yourself in the culture and the opportunities that are available to you! Make the most of it! You won't have this chance again! To be young and be able to live in a new country for 3 years?! What a valuable experience. Don't waste it comparing yourself to others. You have an incredible opportunity if you will just embrace it. These three years will just race by. Enjoy it.
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  #5  
Old 12-19-2012, 01:49 AM
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I got more experience traveling abroad with the military, then my friends who all went to college. My friends had many negative things to say, and told me I was crazy for joining. When I got out, I had doors opened for me because I used my time wisely and knew what I wanted to do for a career. Plus I had the GI bill and many other veterans benefits available so I wouldn't need to go into mountains of debt. My friends got jobs in their career fields, aren't that happy, don't make much money, and will not be able to do the traveling I have enjoyed due to their student debts. Your friends will never have the life experiences that you will have living in another country, in a completely different culture, with the man you love. Try not to focus on what you are giving up, but what you are gaining. Three years is a blink when you are having fun.
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  #6  
Old 12-19-2012, 01:59 AM
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Wow Karen and Tracy said everything I thought and so much more, what great
advice. Very well said. Tiffany, I believe in you girl, have faith in yourself, things
will work out, it's these kinds of "unexpected" challenges that contribute to who
we are, it'll only make you wiser and stronger. Take advantage of the opportunities
that are present, and keep searching for and discovering new ones, you'll get there. Hugs.
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Old 12-19-2012, 02:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ay Chi-mama View Post
... Try not to focus on what you are giving up, but what you are gaining...

LOVE this! Agreed!
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  #8  
Old 12-19-2012, 02:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brodysmom View Post
! Make the most of it! You won't have this chance again! To be young and be able to live in a new country for 3 years?! What a valuable experience. Enjoy it.
I have enjoyed it. This is my second time living here. We lived here 5 years ago. And also in Italy for 3 years. Trust that I know I am extremely happy to have had these experiences. Now I feel that I've experienced all these awesome and new things in various countries. I have traveled, extensively for someone my age. Do you have any suggestions as to what kind of activities I can get involved in to gain some sort of experience? I'm meeting with two hospital docs today to ask them that question and see if I can shadow. Would you suggest that the online courses for prereqs for nursing school is a waste?
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