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  #1  
Old 12-27-2012, 01:10 AM
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Name: Megan
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Unhappy Angry @ World...

Anyway I have been angry at the world since.....i dunno. My views on everything has changed.

I thought my parents changed their personalities but I realized it was just me that changed. I used to be happy and like everything and usually gave people the benefit of the doubt on many things. I just wanted friends, but now I just seem angry at the world and don't know why. I guess I do know why but if I knew why I was angry I would be able to change it right?

I guess I'm just angry because I am 26 years old and feel like I haven't accomplished anything. I feel like my life has been useless and just sometimes wish I can change places with people that aren't around any more. My head is empty all the time and most of the time I just don't know what to do. I have no emotions like I can't cry or smile . I hardly smile.

I just feel like the unluckiest person on this planet. I know there are people who are a lot less lucky then I am and there will probably be some responses to this post that I won't like, such as people referring to all the violence in Conneticut which I was really angry about because why should kids have to experience something that like because someone else was angry?

Anyway, I have been sick since 12-19-2012 with a cold and now just a head cold which has a pretty bad headache every time i cough. My ears are clogged up and i have these pretty wacky thoughts like its permanent. and I get all hyped up .

Also when I sleep i get this really weird feeling like out of body experience or something. I know it's not out of body because i don't look at myself but its really weird feeling that makes me just wake up crying like crazy... I am seeing someone (dr wise) and it just makes me more upset because she hasn't helped. I just feel scared that i'm going to end up like someone like the shooter in Conneticut even though I know not to. I used to be optomistic about everything but now i'm more pessamistic and i don't know how to change. I get a bad vibe about everybody i meet and come across.

II just feel envious of everybody because I am so unlucky. I feel stiff all the time and i don't know how to change it. I don't sleep any more and if i do it 's for 30 minutes. I haven't really slept in a long time and never refreshed. I don't know how to talk to people my own age.

I just feel like i'm a nobody...
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  #2  
Old 12-27-2012, 01:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sissy2010 View Post
Anyway I have been angry at the world since.....i dunno. My views on everything has changed.

I thought my parents changed their personalities but I realized it was just me that changed. I used to be happy and like everything and usually gave people the benefit of the doubt on many things. I just wanted friends, but now I just seem angry at the world and don't know why. I guess I do know why but if I knew why I was angry I would be able to change it right?

I guess I'm just angry because I am 26 years old and feel like I haven't accomplished anything. I feel like my life has been useless and just sometimes wish I can change places with people that aren't around any more. My head is empty all the time and most of the time I just don't know what to do. I have no emotions like I can't cry or smile . I hardly smile.

I just feel like the unluckiest person on this planet. I know there are people who are a lot less lucky then I am and there will probably be some responses to this post that I won't like, such as people referring to all the violence in Conneticut which I was really angry about because why should kids have to experience something that like because someone else was angry?

Anyway, I have been sick since 12-19-2012 with a cold and now just a head cold which has a pretty bad headache every time i cough. My ears are clogged up and i have these pretty wacky thoughts like its permanent. and I get all hyped up .

Also when I sleep i get this really weird feeling like out of body experience or something. I know it's not out of body because i don't look at myself but its really weird feeling that makes me just wake up crying like crazy... I am seeing someone (dr wise) and it just makes me more upset because she hasn't helped. I just feel scared that i'm going to end up like someone like the shooter in Conneticut even though I know not to. I used to be optomistic about everything but now i'm more pessamistic and i don't know how to change. I get a bad vibe about everybody i meet and come across.

II just feel envious of everybody because I am so unlucky. I feel stiff all the time and i don't know how to change it. I don't sleep any more and if i do it 's for 30 minutes. I haven't really slept in a long time and never refreshed. I don't know how to talk to people my own age.

I just feel like i'm a nobody...
Hey there, I realize you are 26 but since you live with your parents you need to talk to them, you need a second opinion and perhaps another doctor, you've already had a violent situation in the past with another person correct? You need to get the help you know you need ASAP before something happens to you or someone else.

I dont mean this to be harsh but many times some of your posts have come across like you're looking for help, and a dog forum is not the right place to ask for help with mental health issues, you are describing serious symptoms and thoughts, you need to reach out to someone now.

Is there a mental health hotline in your area? call them.. it might be a good first step.
I wish you the best & hope you get the help you need to be healthy and happy.
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  #3  
Old 12-28-2012, 01:37 AM
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Megan, it's ok to reach out for help when things seem out of your control.
And it's ok to try a new Doctor, the more opinions you get the better.
Don't limit yourself to just one, find a different specialist, perhaps a
psychiatrist. The only person responsible for your happiness is you,
blaming or being upset with others won't help you feel any better.
You must find at least a drop of will power within you for changes to
start occurring. I think you have it in you, after all you did reach out
here, so you must want at least a little for things to change, you must
feel that, right? Take the steps to help yourself, ask your Doctor for a
recommendation to another specialist. You won't be alone along the way,
I am always willing to listen. But as much as I want to help you, I can
not do it for you, it must come from within you, and if you don't have
the will to help yourself then you definitely need Doctor's help. Please
seek that help Megan, for your own sake. You are important, you have
a purpose, just because that purpose isn't clear to you now, does not
mean you don't have one. Some times we just lose sight of things, and
reaching out helps us see clearly.
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faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion." ~ Unknown
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  #4  
Old 12-29-2012, 04:32 AM
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Megan, how are you feeling today? I worry. Please stop by when you get a chance. Hope things will start to turn around soon for you.
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"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours,
faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion." ~ Unknown
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  #5  
Old 12-29-2012, 06:54 AM
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I've been where you are. You need to get help. If your doctor is not helping you need to find someone else. I don't agree with the attitude most doctors have that antidepressants are a one size fits all, fixes anything but in your case it sounds like you need them. At this point talking about problems alone is not going to help you. Please go and talk to someone about this that can help you. Maybe tell your parents how you feel and they can help you find the right support? I wish you well and good luck in getting better xox
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  #6  
Old 12-29-2012, 01:33 PM
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This is just a thought, but I saw your photography post recently, and your photos have a lot of promise. It just seems to me that if you say your life lacks meaning and accomplishment, why not work and pursue a passion of yours? Have you looked into photography schools? If being a photographer is a passion of yours, I think it would be beneficial to you to write down goals and a plan to accomplish those goals. Check them off as you accomplish them. Sounds like you are just stuck in a rut. Definitely keep seeing your doctor, but I think pursuing a passion will help.
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  #7  
Old 12-31-2012, 12:10 AM
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You are definitely looking for help, but as others have said, this is not the place to get it. Going to a psychiatrist doesn't mean you are a no good person. It means you are going to a doctor to get help for what you have described here. It's just the same as if you have a heart ailment, you go to a cardiologist. You have arthritis, you go to a rheumatologist. You need help with a mental problem that CAN be fixed, so you need a psychiatrist to help you with that. There is nothing to be ashamed of in going to a psychiatrist. What IS shameful is knowing you need the help but won't get it.
I'm 57 years old and have always been a "housewife". I had always wanted to go to college to become an RN. I've tried a couple of times earlier in my adult life to go back to school, but I have 4 kids, so family responsibilities came first and I could not go back to school. Several years ago I wanted to go back to school again, but this time health problems kept me from doing that. Then, at the time, I thought my life was worthless because I didn't have a job or had a degree in something I always wanted to do. And I wondered why am I here? Why am I alive if I can't do this or be that? But then after a bit, I knew why I was here! For myself, maybe I didn't have all I thought I needed, but I'm here for a lot of good reasons. One being I've got a lot of love to give.....to my husband, my kids, my grandson and grandaughter, my chihuahuas (including the 2 who died a year and a half ago). Also I found I have a talent for creative things......I know how to knit, crochet, sew, and make jewelry. I'm hoping someday I can have a website or online store or something in that category to sell what I make. I've had some health scares recently, one almost killed me, so I've even been thinking of a "bucket list", you know, where you think of things you want to do for sure before you die and "kick the bucket". One on mine is to learn to play the piano and have a baby grand piano to play on!
My point in telling you all this stuff is to let you know that you can take steps to feeling much better in your life. And your first big step is to find a psychiatrist and be truthful with him/her and they can figure out what you need or need to do. After that first step and some time after, you will realize your life has meaning and you are here for very good reasons. Then you can go on to enjoy life and find your passions!
Oh, and also I've seen your photos you have taken. They are excellent! Just please get some help for how you are feeling and then pursue a career in photography!
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Last edited by Pookypeds; 12-31-2012 at 12:18 AM.
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