I have been through exactly the same thing with my westie although not to the same degree as you with your sick husband. I'm so sorry for you. My westie had bad hips and dementia and had completely forgotten he was house trained. I put up with that for about 2 years but you know when the time is right to let them go. I also had this with my mongrel. She was so affectionate I just kept putting it off and she got thinner and thinner (she had cancer). One day I just looked at her and thought I'm keeping you alive for me, it's not fair. The best way to do it is spur of the moment. Both times once I had decided I was at the vets and it was done and dusted within the hour. If I had given myself time to think I would have talked myself out of it. It's so sad, especially at this time of year, my westie was put down in 16th December and I spent most of that Christmas upset. I didn't have any problem with the vets doing it, on both occasions I explained the situation and both dogs were checked over. The vet thought I was doing the right thing both times and even remarked that they probably would have died in the near future anyway.
I'm very sorry for you. I will say a little prayer for your husband. X
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