I totally understand. There's not a lot you can do here, except remain cool/non judgmental and maybe she will realize some of the things you brought up were valid concerns and not you trying to be hurtful. I've had more than my share of drama to deal with last year, and the biggest thing I've learned is that people who are hurting (for any reason) sometimes try to hurt others. A lot of the times it's just their insecurities coming out.
If it makes you feel better my older sister stayed with me for a visit last summer and has still refused to talk to me since her stay because my puppy (4 months at the time) barked 3 times during her stay. I've continued to send presents for Christmas and birthdays, but to be honest I've decided I'm tired of it. If she comes around she does, otherwise I'll direct my energy elsewhere.