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Bambi's Ashes Came Today...

3K views 28 replies 21 participants last post by  Rochelle 
#1 ·
They came in a tin in a beautiful bag with a cremation certificate and a poem. It's such a small amount of ashes. She was so tiny. My heart is heavy.
 
#2 ·
Aww, Robin, I know exactly how you feel. My two cockers' ashes are in pretty boxes with their pictures on the front and hubby and I both kiss their pics every night before bed. Non-dog-owners think we're crazy, but it brings me comfort. I know I felt much better when I got their ashes because I felt like they were "back home". Sending big hugs to you right now!
 
#9 ·
Thanks guys. I'm just not ready to let it go yet. I keep reading the "beautiful" posts and looking at her and imagining her laying right here on her spot on my very small chest. LOL. I'm feeling conflicted. My breeder friend says she has the perfect angel for us. It's a gorgeous white short hair girl. She's 3 months old and weighs 1 lb. 6 oz. and is perfectly round and healthy. Her parents are small and her siblings are small. She wants us to have her sooooo badly. I love the way she looks (like the Bev Hills chi) and apparently she is just a lover bug.

I'm just not sure. Andrew wants her, but it's so soon. We have two other healthy happy dogs. She has had all her shots and vet checks, other than rabies so there wouldn't be a cost situation for a while, cuz we can't do that right now.

How do you know if you're ready. I'm always ready to love but I've got 2 really awesome pups that I love. Bambi wasn't planned. We weren't looking for a dog when we got her. The loss of her being gone is insurmountable. I know I have enough love in my heart and body to give another but I'm just not sure it's necessary.

Heavy sigh... What a generous, generous offer though. She really wants us to have her as she will be a petite, "healthy" angel.

Any thoughts from my chi family???????????????????????????????????????????
 
#10 ·
Only you can decide Robin, this is your shout. What would be right for one person in your situation, would not be right for another.

It's easy for people to just say "Go and get her" but it's your loss and you are still going through the bereavement process...the early stages.

What is you heart telling you? My thoughts would be to simply follow your heart.

Barbara x
 
#11 ·
Wish we could tell you what the right thing to do is. My hubby kept asking me if i was ready yet over and over till it drove me crazy. i think he knew me well enough to know i was even if i didnt, but i am not you and only you can decide. having zoe stopped my crying jags and feeling sorry for myself every time i passed the pet aisle in wal mart. i had zoe to take care of and didnt feel sorry for myself anymore over peanut. (but of course i still miss him and wonder what might have been) i didnt have any other babies to take care of and my son is nearly 10 and didnt need to be babied. i needed zoe. i am home alone alot and peanut was my company. i talked to him all the time and we had a routine for our days. without him, my days felt empty. zoe helped fill them back up. i dont know if any of this helps you, or makes sense to anyone but me. but i hope i helped in some way. hugs to you hon
 
#12 ·
Like the others said, only you know when it is the right time. For me, when I lost Molly and Piper, it took me 3 years to feel ready to give my heart to another dog. I was so devastated when they died and I just didn't feel like I could let another dog into my family for quite some time. At one time I was telling family/friends that I would NEVER have another dog. That the pain of losing them was just too great to bear. That went on for months and then eventually for years.

When my sister's dog passed away, she asked me to help her find a little lap dog. Through some searching we eventually got her a cute little papillon. Going and looking at litters and helping her actually helped me to decide that I was ready. And then along came Brody. :) I've never regretted getting him for a second.

Just take your time and don't make any snap decisions. For some people it takes a long time to go through the grieving process and others want a new dog right away. It is up to you.

Brodysmom
 
#13 ·
When I recreived my Nikki's ashes they were in a beautiful cedar box with her name on it, I also received a poem. I keep her in the living room and she watches over all of us including my new little guy Paco. My heart too was heavy for a very long time. I would walk down the hall past my bed room and I thought I could see her lying on my bed. I also thought I could hear her walking around the house. Hang in there it will get better, but you will never forget. I know it is very soon but it might help you to get a new puppy it helps you and to me a new puppy makes me feel like i am honoring my sweet Nikki. you are in my thoughts. Kathy
 
#14 ·
Everyone is different. I felt like getting a new puppy soon after my two died would be a dishonor to them. Weird, huh?! Like I felt they would think they didn't matter and could be so easily replaced. I had to work through a lot of feelings before I felt like I could get a new puppy.

Several years after Piper had passed away, a friend bought a Frenchie puppy. She brought her over for me to see and I held her and just holding her close brought all these memories flooding back and I couldn't stop crying. It was so unexpected!! One minute I was holding a new baby, the next I was a bumbling idiot.

Maybe I'm the exception, but it took me a LONG time to work through the grief of losing those two. I wouldn't have been a good mom to any new puppy at that time, as I was going through that.

My brother, on the other hand, got a new puppy just days after losing his 11 year old Great Pyrenees. (Her picture is on the other pets board, she's a Bernese Mtn Dog). He just couldn't bear the empty house.

Everyone is ready at different times. Give yourself time. Don't rush into anything. You will know when it is right.

Brodysmom
 
#16 ·
Thanks guys. I so appreciate all the kind words and good advice. I am kind of like Brodysmom in the sense of not wanting to "replace" her. I have two other wonderful dogs that I love that are still suffering the loss of her. Coco still looks behind the pillows in our bed to find her. She just started eating again. The problem is my dear, dear husband. He has never been as close to Coco or Cooper as he was to Bambi. He is dying without his girl. She ran around the bed in circles when he came home. It was his first "true" experience with the unconditional love of a dog. He doesn't yet realize that they are all so different and no matter what happens, he can't make a new one be like Bambi. He can love her for her but she'll never be our girl. I've tried telling him that but he may need to figure this one out on his own. My breeder friend needs to know because she is a beautiful pedigree girl and I'm sure she'd like to sell her if we don't take her. Andrew wants her. Jenn keeps sending me pictures. I guess maybe I'll have to leave this one up to the hubby. I'd probably pass at this point if it was only up to me. There's always going to be a baby that needs a good home. Thanks again. I'll keep ya posted.

Love,


Robin
 
#18 ·
You should do what ever is best for you. Everyone feels differently after a loss like this, even your other pets. Nikki was gone for 4 months when I got Paco, and I was not looking for a dog it just happened. Nikki was very old and a great deal of work she had urinary incontience and the urine would just leak out of her all the time. I live in a condo with many stairs and she had be be carried most of the time, so once she was gone I was sure I would never have another dog. Take your time and follow your heart if you don't take this puppy there will be another puppy when you are ready.
 
#19 ·
I always feel better when mine "come home" I feel like they are still with us, although you still miss them terribly, it gives you a sense of peace.

I am really lucky to have a friend who runs a pet crematorium - she never leaves a dog in the vets, goes immediately and picks them up, my hubby has started helping her out as she is getting very busy. She is always good to me and only ever charges me £20, they come back in a little velvet bag. I know when they leave me they are in good hands.

Only you can decide whether you get another puppy, if you are ready it will seem right, Bambi will never be replaced but forever in your heart. (sending you hugs!)
 
#20 ·
Memories are precious and they grow sweeter with time. You were blessed to have her and she was blessed to have you.
It is so true that there are a lot of little furbabies out there that need loving homes and they would find that with you, but that is a decision only your own heart will guide you on.
I hope things get easier for you and your hubby..time has a way to heal the hurt..we have to remember the happy things in life and those sweet memories that go with it.:)
Hugs....Darlene
 
#22 ·
You guys, singlehandedly, make me feel better than anyone else right now. The people in my life are so upset about Bambi that they cry as soon as they see me. You are all a constant support of good advice and common sense, which is what I need.

This is what I told my hubby... Go with your gut. I'm good right now with the two that we have. I've done both ways as far as "getting" a new one right away and waiting. Another one would certainly add distraction, but we have 2 kids, 2 dogs and a couple of cats. I am really letting him lead on this one. I'll love another with no problem but he really feels a "need". This is the first time he's lost an animal like this and he is struggling.

Either way, a decision needs to be made this weekend and I am totally allowing him this call.

You know I will keep you all posted as you've been with me since day 1 on this journey. I have great comfort having Bambi's ashes home. She was so loved by so many. Thanks chi family for everything.
 
#25 ·
I am so glad that Bambi is home. I understand your husband's need to love another baby. Everyone is different in their grieving process. If this is something HE needs, that is a decision he needs to make. I know that whatever happens you will always have the support of the people here on the forum and we will stand behind whatever decision you and your family make. The new puppy will not be a replacement for Bambi, no one ever will be, but it might make it easier to heal.
 
#26 ·
I'm finally starting to allow myself to read of other's experiences losing their babies. I'm so sorry for your loss. I have to decide on what to do with Poppet's body tomorrow, and I think that I want him cremated as well. You and others seem to find such solace in having your loved ones with you. I feel like it's the right thing to do.

I know what you mean about it being too soon. Many of my family (mom/dad/aunt) have suggesting getting another dog right away, but it's just too raw. I admit that I was tempted for a few seconds, but found myself browsing breeder sites looking for a dog just like Poppet. I realized I didn't want another dog...I wanted him and was looking for him in all the newborn faces. Ultimately, I think you're making the right decision in letting your husband decide for himself whether he's ready or not.
 
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