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Old 02-03-2014, 04:39 AM
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Default How do you deal with people?

It is hard for me to consider anyone other than my husband a "close" friend. I try to be open-minded, considerate, and respectful of other's opinions, but when I feel like I don't get that in return, I get mad. I am the first to admit that I have a temper and a low tolerance for b.s. It is easy for me to make friends, but keeping them is another story. Please no one be offended, I'm just being honest here and need advice from some of the more wise members. Throughout my entire marriage, my husband and I have never met another couple that we both can stand to be around. There's always something about the others that drives one of us crazy. For all I know, the feelings could be mutual. I guess what I am saying is I have tried to make friendships with a few women and it never works out. Either they piss me off too easily or we have nothing in common. I know that sounds terrible because you are suppose to respect other people. I truly do respect other people for the most part. Why can't I hold on to friendships? Why can't I meet someone who I want to consider a "best" friend? My husband is my best friend but we have to have friends outside the marriage, right? Remember we are a military family and are constantly meeting new people and saying goodbye to them a year or two later. This was prompted by a fall out I had with a close friend tonight which leads me to ask myself if it was inevitable. She drives me crazy sometimes. I'm sad that our friendship is over, but at the same time, I'm pissed because she acted like a child. We met almost a year ago. I have met some wonderful people who I care about very much, but not anyone who I want to envision myself sitting on a patio with 30 years from now, ya know? Does anyone have any insight? Maybe we just can't spend too much time with people or we get sick of them?
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  #2  
Old 02-03-2014, 05:25 AM
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I know that for me, the older I get, the harder it is to have "friends" or confidants. I am not a person that will share secrets or things like that, but I am very friendly and open-minded about many things, so its easy for me to accept people with what I would consider "flaws". I also find that I have a sense of humor that helps me be more accepting sometimes.

Nobody is perfect and if I do not enjoy someones company, I just do not look to have it. Actually I have more "online" good friendships than I do in my daily life. I dont have just that one friend that we do it all with, but for me I dont feel the need because I am content with having different friends and seeing them from time to time. I enjoy that more I think than having a "best" friend to do everything with.

Maybe because when I was young we moved around a lot and all the good people were taken ha ha. My guess is with the fact that you move around lot maybe part of you that you have not realized in the back of your mind, tries not to get attached to people because you know you will not have them in your daily life forever?

Im not sure exactly what things you mean drive you crazy because some people have a lower or higher tolerance in such things, but if it is very unbearable I can understand you wanting not to be around such people.

I have had a friend, for intance, that I knew from grade school and although we got along very well she becane very clingy and wanted me to contact her every single day even for a minute, which was impossible some days. When I did not, that caused her to get really agitated and one fine day she complained so much that I really got offended and we argued. Now normally, I forgive and forget as they say, but she was so upset she never spoke to me again. Others do and others dont. Her tolerance was low, where as someone else would try to understand and life would go on.

What I am trying to say is you are not terrible because you find you are not compatable with some people. Its not easy to "click" with people the older you get, especially if you move around a lot. It is a great thing that you have your husband that you are "friends" with, many women are not so lucky. Maybe all you need is each other

Last edited by Kalisee; 02-03-2014 at 05:42 AM.
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Old 02-03-2014, 05:27 AM
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heya for me personally me and the bf are just like you guys. we can never find a "couple" that we can get along with. we've tried a couple of them throughout the years we've been together but something always comes up that we just cant stay close friends with them or even go remotely close to that area. those couples aren't even together anymore. there's just some people out there that think they have "friends" when they're really not friends at all but aquaintences [often mistaken]. dont get so hard on yourself, i find it the older u get the harder it is to find true friends. i have a couple online which i think is fine who says u have to meet in person to be really good friends. my motto is if u cant stand me, then fluff off. if you're a weak person i dont need u weighing me down. in the past ive given friends plenty of chances to prove themselves but never stuck to it so i wiped them out of my life completely. im very happy with just having the bf as a person to see in reality as a loving relationship and best friend. i have my pups as well..and my lovely online friends. who needs to be a crazy socialite to live...im not a celebrity :]



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Old 02-03-2014, 05:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pigeonsheep View Post
who needs to be a crazy socialite to live...im not a celebrity :]
Yes but you are definately a celebrity here on Chihuahua-People
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Old 02-03-2014, 05:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Kalisee View Post
Yes but you are definately a celebrity here on Chihuahua-People
hahaha!!! oh i totally forgot to reply to u when u talked about greek food. so we ordered again tonight greek food but it was just appetizers and a burger


i wasnt happy with it...so ill stick with the chicken kabobs like last time LOL



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  #6  
Old 02-03-2014, 05:34 AM
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i wasnt happy with it...so ill stick with the chicken kabobs like last time LOL
Yes because that does not even look like traditional Greek food but thank you for sharing and making me hungry again ha ha!

Sorry to hijaack the post for a moment, Teetee!
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Old 02-03-2014, 05:36 AM
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oh poops! so sorry. when it comes to food...i get carried away. i'll make a sep. thread for u



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Old 02-03-2014, 06:07 AM
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Thank you both for the advice. In the future, I am going to stop trying to have that "best" friend. I don't think such a thing exists for an adult, imo. It was just nice to have someone who wasn't my husband who I got along with and cracked jokes with. Someone to go shopping with or grab a bite with. Talk girlstuff, share makeup or decorating ideas...etc. I was just wondering if I am a total witch and just can't keep a friend. It's comforting to read that you both have had the same troubles as we age. I find it very difficult to make connections with people. It just seems like people are in their own flow. I guess I have to stop caring so much about having friendships. It's hard in the military. You almost have to depend on others when your family is thousands of miles away.
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