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Old 02-02-2015, 07:45 PM
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Default Sorry I haven't been around

I'm sorry I haven't been here much. I have a lot going on in my life right now. My husband and I are separating. He is an alcoholic and I've had enough. I'm open to reconciliation down the road if he shows me he is going to get help and I see at least a year of sobriety but I can't watch him kill himself anymore and I have two daughters to think about. They're almost 18 and 15. We will have been married 20 years in August.

I looked for apartments here, but they're very expensive. I'm moving the girls and myself in with my parents for awhile to pay some things down and hopefully save some money. I was shooting for 6 months but now I think 9 months to a year is more likely. The chis are coming along! I wouldn't think about moving in with them if I couldn't bring the babies. I'll have the basement to myself and they'll stay down there with me. The basement is very nice, and finished. The girls will have bedrooms upstairs.

I'm not filing for divorce yet....I want to wait it out and see what happens. He's been seeing a counselor, and she's helped him a lot but she's also bringing things to the surface that he's tried to repress by self medicating. He's getting ready to enter into out patient rehab as well tomorrow. He'll go one time a week with her, and three times a week for 3 hours for rehab. I pray it helps him get better, and also that if we aren't around and he can concentrate on him he'll get well.

Anyway I hope everyone is well. Please keep me in your prayers and thoughts. I'm really sad right now but trying to concentrate on doing what's best for my girls.
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Old 02-02-2015, 09:21 PM
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Best of luck to you! I hope your husband can recover! You are very brave! Thoughts and prayers from California!
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Old 02-02-2015, 10:23 PM
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Hi Thia! I'm so sorry to hear what you have been going through. My father and my sisters father were both abusive alcoholics, and I know how you feel and how painful it is. I am so glad you found the strength to get out, even if it's temporary, to give yourself and your daughters a better quality of life. Thinking about you, stay strong! Hugs!!
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Old 02-03-2015, 12:43 AM
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My heart goes out to you and your girls. I know first hand what it's like to deal with alcoholism and abuse. My stepfather was mentally, verbally and physically abusive, drank too much and did drugs. Over the years I continued to run into abuse from relatives, neighbors and even some old friends. It takes a lot to step up and know and believe that you can get yourself out of those bad situations and overcome the fear of change. I totally sympathize with you and strongly believe that you will make it. And anytime your feeling sad or down, just log on to cp and look at pics of all of the beautiful babies on here. It will make you smile and feel so much better 😊
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Old 02-03-2015, 08:50 AM
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I'm sorry to hear about this too, it's a very difficult situation. My mum is an alcoholic (so was my step dad, but they're separated now) so without going into too many details, I'm very familiar with this and how psychologically damaging it can be for everyone involved. There is hope though... my mum has been sober for nearly 10 years now and while our relationship is not perfect, it's a million times better than I ever thought it could be. She has really changed as person and I'm very proud of her for it. So it's possible! Hopefully you leaving your husband is the reality check he needs to go through with his recovery. Good luck with everything!
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Old 02-03-2015, 11:59 AM
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I will keep all of you in my prayers! I hope he gets the help he needs
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Thank you Jan896
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Old 02-03-2015, 12:34 PM
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Thank you all! Luckily he's not abusive by any means and but its hard to watch someone you love slowly go downhill.
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