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  #1  
Old 08-29-2013, 07:38 PM
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Default Baby Got Ran Over a Car

Hello, I am new to the forums. I tried to keep it together, but I am dying slowly on the inside and out. I haven't slept and eaten well in days and the memory of my baby haunts me to this day.


I have two dogs: Kaito and Pocky. I had adopted Pocky who was found under a car. He had the symptoms of an abused dog and even raising voices will get him running away like crazy. I promised my little Pocky that I would love him, treasure him, and give him the life he was deprived from on his birth.


Anyway, I recently moved down to LA with my boyfriend and we forgot our leashes for the dogs. I guess I did not care that much because from where we used to live having dogs off leash wasn't that big of a deal. There were no cars, usually not many people walked on the streets. It was a great place.


We thought about getting the leashes, but we decided to wait because we were too busy trying to find an apt and we were too stingy with money. I guess I am getting punished for my stinginess.


On Aug 27 2013, We woke up to walk the dogs, off- leash, and because we were pre-occupied with so many useless and selfish thoughts, we did not pay attention to our babies.


I looked to find them and saw a blur of white and heard a thunk...Pocky got ran over by a car.


I am so guilt ridden. Everyday, I hear the thunk, the texture of his skin, the face he made, the little wheezing sound. I hate myself so much and everyday I am haunted by the memory of my little baby, and of how I could have prevented his death.


I could have gotten the stupid leashes, I could have paid attention, I could have been there to block off the car, I could have called for him earlier, I could have done so many things, but I didn't and I feel like I killed him.


All the stress and problems that haunted me earlier seems minimal, and I wonder what is the point of me achieving things if I can not share them with the things I love? What is the purpose of life if I cannot share them with my little babies?


I am so sorry Pocky, I am soooo sorry. I should have been there. I should have done something. I should have...so many things I should have done to prevent your death...


And now I have learned my lesson to his expense and I honestly despise myself and feel like life is full of S***... Food doesn't taste good... Sleep gives me hope that I will see him next to me...


Of all the dogs I have had, he was the best dog. He had the brightest and the most adorable personality and the most cutest face. I despise myself for robbing such a beautiful soul from this world...


Sorry for writing this essay, and rest assure everyone, I don't deserve to have another dog and won't even think about getting another dog....
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  #2  
Old 08-30-2013, 01:00 AM
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I am very sorry for your loss...
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Old 08-30-2013, 01:08 AM
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I am so very sorry! I do feel your pain!
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  #4  
Old 08-30-2013, 01:09 AM
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Hey, forgive yourself first. Yes it was stupid, and dumb. No it can't be undone. You have to move forward with your life, and the best 'medicine' will be to forgive yourself and never forget what rushing around and not thinking properly does!
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Old 08-30-2013, 01:25 AM
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I can honestly say that I too would heap guilt upon myself
Yes we are responsible to care for these little k9s but any number of things could have led to a similar outcome
Punishing yourself like this isn't healthy for you or your other dog and its the last thing little Pocky would have wanted
You can continue to beat yourself up for the years you lost or you can be thankful for the ones you gave him
We really do have to make choices in life how we are going to deal with situations and I urge you to to remember how you did right for him when no one else wanted him and try to do something positive in his memory
Volunteer or make a donation to a rescue
You can't change what's already happened



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Old 08-30-2013, 02:25 AM
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I feel terrible for you. I am so sorry.

It's a really sad attitude to have. Mistakes happen, and I'm sure if he were alive, Pocky would forgive you. Love means forgiveness and you should forgive yourself. Cutting yourself off from ever buying another dog is heartbreaking, please don't do it. Just think of the love and kindness you would be able to offer another dog, perhaps one who had a bad start to life like Pocky. Please keep your mind open. I am truly sorry for your loss, I am sending good wishes your way, but things like these happen to the very best owners. There are dangers around every corner for such little dogs, and you can only do your best to protect them.

Good luck, and my deepest sympathies.


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  #7  
Old 08-30-2013, 05:49 AM
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I'm really sorry for your loss. He was such a gorgeous little dog. I know how hard it must be for you to forgive yourself, but you obviously cared deeply about your dog and never meant for anything to happen to him. Everyone makes mistakes and even if this one came with a high cost, you need to forgive yourself in order to be able to get through this.

I know it's easier said than done and trust me I feel your pain. My dog Coco died 3 months and a half ago, ran over by a car while a friend was looking after her. Losing her destroyed me and I went through a lot of guilt too. The truth is there is potential dangers all around us and we can't prevent everything unfortunately. We sometimes think we're doing the right thing until something happens to prove us horribly wrong.

And of course you are deserving of your other dog and any future dogs, try not to be so hard on yourself. You just made a mistake, you're not a bad person or dog owner.
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  #8  
Old 08-30-2013, 03:57 PM
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Thank you so much for your condolence, but I feel like he was such a pretty boy that even though I had not adopted him, he would have been okay. I adopted him from a no kill shelter where they will always take care of him until he got adopted out... I feel like he could have lead a better and more fulfilling life if I hadn't adopted him. I actually regret getting him, not because he was a bad dog, but because he was such a jewel. He deserved an owner that should have treasured him versus me...who is irresponsible and immature.

Sorry, I am taking his death really hard.
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