First a little about myself:
I'm a 43 yr old male. Happily Married 18 yrs. My Kids:
18 yr old Male
16 yr old Female and 16 yr old Male twins
10 yr old Teacup Chihuahua (Misty)
9 yr old Deer Chihuahua (Patches sister to Misty a yr apart)
1 Yr Old Chug (Bella)
Been raised on the old idiom a man does not cry. A man is seen as the strong one in a situation and is there to help comfort the others.
I'm sad to say after a 3 year Battle with seizures we lost Misty to a stroke the other night.
I try to keep my head held up and be the strong one but when I sit idle and alone I cant seem to stop crying. My friends and Co-workers all remark how happy she always was and that they could tell she was loved so much by us. But I keep thinking selfishly of how I am alone. I know I still have my other 2 and I'm trying my best to keep my attention on them...but everytime I look at my Pillows or Misty's Blankets, my world comes crashing down again. I hold my head high knowing I gave her a much loved and terrific home and I KNOW for a fact she was happy. I'm proud and extremely grateful I gave her a non-abusive home and she lived with her head held high.
How do you manage? Why does it seem a HUGE part of my heart was ripped away? Why can't I move on? Why can't I be happy in the fact I gave her a good life and my selfishness just wants her back?
Thank you all in advance