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  #1  
Old 04-25-2010, 09:02 PM
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Default Goodbye Mac

I was working with a rescue BT for a short time, mostly just getting him out and walking with him. Mac was about 9-10 months old, and was surrendered by his owners to the city shelter. He was most likely bought from a pet store, or possibly some DPoop BYB, as he strongly resembled some other puppies that had been seen in rescues, most of whom had issues and a number of them had to be PTS.
When being sent to work with him, I was told that he was extremely nippy, a jumpy, wild puppy. He also had come down with ringworm so most people didn't want to touch him too much. He never displayed these behaviors for me. If anything he was a tad insecure, occasionally getting overwhelmed outside with all the city noises (although always happy to be out), but never more than roughly took a treat from me (which within a day he quickly caught on and stopped even this behavior). I worked with him for a couple of weeks, mostly on his basic manners on leash, and just loving on and exercising him. He was certainly a unique looking guy, and I'm sure in a few months, once his ringworm spots had grown back in and he had put on some weight/filled out he would have been a looker... or something close to that.

If I had been in a position to I would have adopted - or AT LEAST home fostered him in a second to work on him more. He was a complete love bug for me. I guess we just connected. But one day as I was getting ready to go over I got a call that he had been adopted. And it felt wrong but I wanted to be happy for him. The next day I heard they wanted to send him back because he bit or tried to bite one of them when they were trying to crate him. But they later decided to keep trying with him. With weeks of no word I could only hope things were going well although I thought about him frequently.
I just got an email that Mac was returned to the rescue and PTS last night as despite the adoptive families efforts he was having too many issues. I'm feeling so many things right now that I can't even explain it. I'm hurt, I'm angry, I feel guilty. I just wish I could have helped him more. I guess its possible he was just off, he isn't the first case that had to be PTS - these dogs bore a striking resemblance that one can only guess is from similar lines. I don't know... It's just hard for me to grasp as he was so good for me. I feel like he was fixable and it was people who failed him. It kills me.

Either way Mac is at peace now, he isn't trouble by his bad breeding, or his bad up bringing - whatever was making him feel the way he did. And no matter how short my time was with him I really, really loved that doof.

RIP Mac, my lovable cow boy. The darling who lifted his paw every time he sat. The baby who cried as I left him in his kennel and broke my heart a bit every time. The boy who I will never remember as an aggressor and always as a sweetheart.








Life is not fair or kind...
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  #2  
Old 04-25-2010, 09:05 PM
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Oh so upsetting he was a lovely boy RIP
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Old 04-25-2010, 09:39 PM
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OH man. He was beautiful quinn. Really beautiful. I'm sorry that you didn't get the chance to love him a little bit longer. Rest in peace sweet and misunderstood boy.
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Old 04-25-2010, 09:44 PM
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I'm so very sorry for your loss. They touch our lives in so many ways, you just can't count them. Please know that you gave him some wonderfu memories and the unconditional love he deserved. You touched his life in a beautiful way too. He knew he was loved, however briefly he was in your life, and that meant the world to him. Please let go of the guilt. I know it's hard. I deal with it often myself. Unfortunately we can not keep them all, nor fix everything that life has dealt them. Know that you did all you can and made a difference in his life. That is the best we can hope for sometimes.

Praying for peace to settle in your heart and that your memories bring you joy and smiles as time eases this grief and sorrow into the precious reminder of the love you shared.
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Old 04-25-2010, 09:46 PM
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What a waste of a little life Its not your fault, you did all you could
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Old 04-25-2010, 09:52 PM
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Thank you guys.

And Lisa - thank you for what you wrote. It is very true and I know that I can't be blaming myself - I really had no control over what happened with him at all, it just feels so wrong. I'm just happy he was loved before he went.

But I still can't stop bawling. Right when I compose myself I start again. Something about that boy just really got to me. I just feel he was failed. And he deserved better. I don't want to blame his new owners, and I really DON'T know first hand what happened with that. But he had the potential to be an amazing companion, he just needed the perfect fit and the rescue (IMO) wasn't really versed in BTs enough. I was working with him THROUGH a BT rescue, who was trying to help find him a home but didn't have any available fosters. This group he was with did not contact me or the woman running the BT rescue when he was placed, just left me a message saying "he's going to his new home". It just seemed to hasty and now I feel that he paid for it. But with that said - he is free, he isn't in pain, he isn't tormented. A dog could end up much worse.

Mac was just too good for this world
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Old 04-25-2010, 10:53 PM
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I'm so sorry. He was very beautiful!



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Old 04-26-2010, 01:21 AM
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I am so sorry
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