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This is more to vent and whine so feel free to scroll on by.

Since Maya's passing, I truly feel stunned. Other people seem to think that a day or two has gone by so I should be perfectly fine. I had to do a dance show yesterday where I have to be on stage, being the MC while my dancers dance and act all happy. I can fake it pretty well, but I just had a huge headache by the time the night was over. People are like, 'Come out and get a pedicure" or "let's go to lunch" and i know they mean well. But I honestly don't feel like doing anything as I have this hole in my heart. I am hoping that the necropsy tells me something like it was congenital and nothing could have been done or she had a massive stroke or something like that. But honestly if they come back with something like head trauma, when I can't find ANYTHING that she could have done or gotten into or fallen on etc. then it will make me crazy forever.
My husband who doesn't like dogs is being about as caring as an old shoe. I know I am upset and mad so I think some of my reaction to him is just my anger at the situation more so than him. But it is hard. Yesterday, someone put Peach on his lap on the recliner and she jumped from the arm of the chair to the ground (too high for her). i heard a thud and about came unglued that he would just let her jump or fall like that. What the heck!!!!!! Really? Who does that just days after our tragedy. I went nuts. She was fine of course as she is a jumpy, puppy and she did jump. But he let her. Ugh. I'm just mad at the world and I don't want to talk about it with people so they think I'm just fine. And if I'm not only 3 days later, they think something is wrong with me. I had to call and cancel the order for Maya's electric fence collar today. They were very nice but it was an awkward call to make and I just couldn't do it on Friday without breaking down. The kids seem to be doing ok although Tommy (10) started crying yesterday at his swim meet about her. So I think it's still hard for them. I found one of her collars in a junk drawer last night and all the stuff of hers is hard to look at. All of her clothes will fit Peach so that is fine but it still makes me so sad. I just had to vent because I know you all understand. One of my dance families did quietly give me a card yeserday which I found so thoughtful.
Tricia
 

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I feel for you, some people just dont understand that an animal can mean as much to some people as a child. My beautiful cat Shirley, was 18 when I lost her, over 4 years ago now, and sometimes I still have a little tear or two over her. I had her for so long when I was younger and growing up that she will always be my first baby.
 

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I think that only true dog people can understand the pain you feel. Especially when it was so unexpected. With an old dog, you have the time to expect what will eventually happen and to TRY and prepare, although you are never fully prepared for their passing. But a young and healthy dog in her prime like your Maya is a shock to say the least.

You can rest easy knowing that YOU DID everything possible to help her. There's nothing you could have done different. Sometimes these things happen, although I know that's no comfort.

There are all kinds of stages of grief. Those of us who have lost a precious friend will understand what you are going through and we will be here for you. Everyone grieves in different ways so you just take your time and do what you need to do in order to feel whole again.

After Molly and Piper died, I couldn't bear to even LOOK at a dog. I walled myself off from that pain. It took a long time for me to feel ready to love a dog again. Everyone is different. There is no right or wrong way to get over the loss of your precious Maya.

Just know that we will all be here for you. To listen and to lend a shoulder to cry on. We understand and we support you.

Hugs,
Tracy
 

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I just want to give you a big hug and a nice throw blanket, a box of tissues and some old movies. Everyone should be allowed to grieve. People don't understand how much we love our little babies and what a huge place they hold in our hearts...Don't feel bad for how you are feeling, your sweet baby is gone, it will take TIME and you will always miss her :(
 

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I am so sorry! I can imagine how hard it would be not to break down in public. I cry every time i read one of your posts.
People that don't have pets just simply can't understand, but it's truly like losing a child.
Husband are so dumb at times, I know i'd like to strangle mine about everyday. They are just CLUELESS sometimes.
I'm glad you can find some comfort in coming here to vent. And we all understand your pain and really care.
I pray your heart will mend soon and you will have peace.
 

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Aw hun, I'm so sorry you're not getting better support at home. I wish I could give you a big hug. It's so hard to lose our precious little ones, I think only true animal lovers can really understand the pain and how deep the grief runs. Please know that we all care and we're here for you to help you through this. xx
 

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I can totally relate. When I lost Chase I basically shut myself off from the World, even my family. :( I cried every day for at least 2 months. I had a necropsy done on him as well, and the things you are thinking, I thought too. What if I would have known sooner, what if something could have been done, what if I find out that it was my fault. I had all kinds of crazy thoughts. It's a normal part of grieving. People that aren't "dog" people don't get it. I didn't want to do anything, go anywhere, I just felt so lost, so dull, my heart ached with everything in me. It was terrible! So please know that some of us do understand. Each day will bring you closer to peace. It may not seem like it now, but time will allow you to remember all of the wonderful memories, instead of her death. Don't push yourself. Cry, scream, lay in bed, whatever it takes. I talked about Chase's ordeal to my family everyday. Repeated myself over and over. Then I'd go to my room and fall apart. It took all of that to help me heal. I felt angry at times because I wondered if my family was hurting as much as I was. I would drive down the road just balling my eyes out. I was a wreck! You will never forget her, and no pup will replace her, but you will feel better in time, I promise. Hold your Angel close to your heart, and know that this wasn't your fault. Let yourself grieve. (((((Hugs)))))
 

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Tricia, there are no words I can offer to easy your pain, but I can pray for your burden to be lightened and your heart to be comforted.. please know that I lift you up in prayer daily. Blessings, Deb
 

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Tricia

I don't think unless people have lost a pet understand how much it affects you!!! When I read your post about Maya I sobbed and held my puppies because you have gone through my worst nightmare with her!!

You need to give yourself time to grieve I don't think it's any different to any loved one dying human or animal you will go through the same stages of hurt, anger etc as if you would if she was human!!

People don't understand, we on the forum do, I know you don't really know us but I think I speak for the entire chi community when I say if you need to talk, rant, scream, shout, remember the good times or cry we are all here to listen.

Love
Sarah xx
 

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Everyone has said it perfectly already.
I too understand the grief of losing a much loved kid with fur, and i know what it's like for some people to not understand how i was feeling at all.
They thought it was just an animal, but that is just so wrong!
I was lucky at the the time that my boss understood and let me take time off.

Anyway, do what you have to and take as long as you need.
You will always love Maya and miss her, but i promise in time the pain will dull a bit and you will smile again, especially when you think of those special times you had with her.
If you were here i would give you a massive hug and prob have a good cry with you.

We really do understand and care.
Lots of love from me and mine. xxx
 

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It was March 13 2008 when I lost my "heart" dog Roxy so tragically. I will never forget it. So when I read of someone on here that has lost a pet I cry for them because I know what they are going through. I am soooo sorry you are going through this (((((HUGS))))). It has been 2.5 years and I still miss her everyday. I love my Zoey to bits but my Roxy was special. I am so sorry you are going through this. When I lost her I came on here begging for help on how to deal with the loss. She was almost 5 yers old. My constant companion. This board may have its quirks every now and then but we know what you are going through and we know that little dogs are special and are here to support you any way we can. The pain has dulled over the past 2 years but it is still there. When ever I think of her I get a stabbing sensation of pain in my chest as I did when I read about your little Maya. So it will get easier to deal with but my pain is still there. Although it does not consume me anymore. (((((HUGS))))) Kay
 

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Just wanted to say I am so sorry for Your family's loss.
 

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My husband and I are terribly saddened by your loss. We have thought of you all weekend. We to have no magic words for you but that you are loved by all here. We cry with you and we pray for you and your boys. I really hope you get the news from the vet you need to rest your heart. Big hugs and kisses
Your chi friend Bonnie
 

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Of course it is still hard. It is so difficult when you go through such a painful loss just to see the rest of the world acting fine and happy like its just another day, dont they realize nothing is ever going to be the same? Take the time you need. If crying in the shower helps, do it, if walking your pups helps, do it. Certainly vent here anytime you need to. We know how hard it is, we understand and we are here for you. For a true dog person, your dog is a part of you, theyre a part of your heart, and to lose that is so incredibly painful. Just want you to know there are people who understand and that we are thinking of you.
 

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I am so, so sorry for your loss. I can't say it gets better but I can say I understand, my Raven passed away a year ago last March 4th. I still remember the day, and I still cry when I see her pictures or her collar which I put up in my hutch. I can only hope for you that in time the pain becomes less and the happy memories outweigh the grief. ~gentle hugs~
 

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I still get teary-eyed over my childhood pets. We had a chi for a week before he passed away, and I still get upset over it when I look at the only picture we have of him. Just remember, Maya is in heaven now.
 

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Tricia, we understand, you are among friends here. I wish I could give you a big hug and listen to stories about your Maya...you need to talk about how you feel. If no one near wants to listen, you just post here and we will all be waiting with open hearts, ready to listen. My heart aches for you.
 

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I tear up everytime I read these Maya posts :(

It's a sad and terrible thing, but you did everything you could. Vent all you want, we're here; you've been a great mom to Maya and she knows that.

I'd love to say it will get better, but it'll be a dark gloomy path there. Just try to remember the good rather than the unfortunate, she's being taken care of in a better place now, nothing to worry about.
Keep your head up!
 

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I send a BIG HUG!! and a card saying how sorry I am so sorry i am.IT is hard when you loose an animal I have lost some before.It will get better as time goes.THe LOrd is with you and you will always have vids and pics or her and she will always live in you heart.
 
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