[notgivingup]

First off, let me say that I do not dislike chihuahuas or dogs in general.

That said let me explain my situation a bit.

I got married about 8 months ago (28M, 33F). My fiance has a 3 year old chihuahua, Pete. I knew she had the dog but we did not live together before getting married. I have never been much of an animal person but from what I saw of the dog I did not thinking sharing a house with him would be too difficult.

I was wrong. For the past 8 months I have tried everything to come to terms with the fact that this dog will be in my life for a LONG time to come. My wife adores him, calls him her "son". We have spent a lot of money to get him trained and it got better but he is still so willful.

My issues:

1. CONSTANT following, staring, being underfoot when she is not there.
2. Does not listen, very stubborn.
3. REFUSES to poop or pee in the cold, the instant we let him in, he goes.
4. Constant jumping in my lap, getting hair all over me. I am mildly allergic too.


I could go on and on. I guess what I want / need to know is how can I get the dog to understand that I am to be left alone? I have never and would never mistreat the dog but I really do not want to be my wife's stand in when she is away. I have discussed these issues with her and she cannot get past the fact that some people are just not animal people. I really cannot stand the constant following, lap jumping, etc. He even tries to get into the bathroom AND shower when I try to use them!!!

Please give advice on I how I can co-exist with this dog. What I want is to have minimal interaction.

Thanks...

 

[20887]

I hate to say this, but chihuahuas are really "people" dogs. They can learn house rules, but they are companion dogs. I guess if you don't want to interact with him then there isn't much you can do besides ignore him, but really that might make you resent him more. Can you try to work on training with him? It might create a bond between the two of you and help solve his problems if he is willing to listen to you.

 

[Blondie87]

Yeah, everything you mentioned is kinda just a Chi thing. Not misbehaving. They are just needy. It's a thing most people love about them, but sometimes hate at the same time! You can try pee pads for inside when he won't go when it's cold.

If you really don't want to be around him you can set up an area (bedroom or pen, separate baby gated area.) with beds, toys, pee pad, water, etc for him, and he can be in there while your wife is away.

As the PP mentioned, if you trained him you might bond with him more, and then you might be okay with him following you and wanting to be on your lap. But other than those suggestions, I'm not sure there is anything you can do!

 

[KayC]

Awwww poor Pete. He just wants to be with you. He is not going to understand that you want to be left alone because it is not in their nature. I hope you can bond with him. I agree with the baby gate if you dont want him to be around you but he may whine if he knows you are on the other side.

 

[MChis]

I almost want to say you came to the wrong place with your concerns but what better place to learn about a Chi than here. As what was mentioned Chi's are a companion dog meaning they were bred to have certain characteristics. Some dogs were bred as hunting dogs...its in their nature. Companion dogs were bred to be with their people at all times. Pete is doing a great job with what he's meant to do. Chi's will follow you from room to room, hop in your lap the second you sit & will act like you're crazy if you tell them otherwise. You can set boundaries for Pete...but its up to you to maintain those boundaries...you can't expect him to learn them & that's that. Dogs like in the moment & follow your lead so you must stay assertive if you want those limits. Check out how to be a good pack leader...it may be helpful.

Please do cut Pete some slack though...he is doing what he is meant to do. Oh & the pottying issue...just stay outside longer & keep him tethered to you when you go inside. If he starts to squat lift him up immediatelt mid poo/pee & put him outside to finish. You have to be diligent about it...have lots of patience & persistence & he'll catch on.

Good luck!

 

[Jerry'sMom]

Good for you for trying to find a solution for you and Pete! I agree with the
ex-pen idea. I think if you can maintain your boundaries with Pete you may start to like being
around him

 

[MiniGrace]

He may be following you around because he knows that you are upset and he is trying to make peace. He may be desperately attempting all the things that work with your wife and doesn't understand why he isn't making you happy.

You know, even dog people have different ideas of what's acceptable. I am a very physical, huggy person and I like my dogs all over me. I have a friend who doesn't like her dog in her lap but thinks nothing of letting the dog lick her plate, which I think is gross. I let my dogs kiss my face. My husband doesn't like them to kiss his face. When they try, he tells them no, eases them down into his lap, and then pets them and tells them they are good dogs. Our late German Shepherd (RIP Tesla) knew that it was okay to jump on my husband but not me so she would politely sit in front of me to be petted. They are capable of learning boundaries. Gentle consistency has always worked for us. An ex-pen or baby gate when your wife leaves is perfectly acceptable to me as long as he doesn't spend all his time there.

You are right, though. You have to figure this out because not only will he be in your life for a long while, if you wife is a dog person, he is not going to be the only dog in your life. Figure out what your boundaries are and don't feel guilty about it. Enforce those gently with the dog and your wife. Their feelings matter but so do yours! You can work this out - it can be done.

 

[Squirrelflight]

I'm with mini grace... he will learn how to be differently with you than your wife. My chis are very different with me than with my hubby. You just need to help him know what you like. And it cant just be 'ignore me'.. lol

When I get home I ignore the dogs until they are all calm then I say hello, we go out for potty, and everone gets a treat. Try to figure a 'greeting' that works for you but lets the dog feel 'noticed' and cared about. It can be very low key.

Try tossing a pillow or cozy blanket near you and when he hops in your lap put him on his blanket. If you catch him on his blanket give him a treat and kind word to encourage that.

If you ignore him he will pester more. If you just take a few minutes to give some low key attention and look for opportunities to give attention and treats when he is less underfoot he will learn that this is how he gets what he wants from you.

It is entirely possible to have a chihuahua who is more low key. My hubby likes they all crazy and hyper but I like calmness. So with him they jump all over and go nuts. For me they are quiet and calm and wait for my attention. Even the pups have learned that you have to be calm or mom will just ignore you. It does work. They are little attention hounds for sure so use that to your advantage and give attention when he is not annoying for you.

 

[pigeonsheep]

*throws an egg at ur nose* boooooo! i hope u figure things out with poor pete. even if ur mildly allergic u know....if u live with an animal long enough ur body will get uaed to the allergies? im highly allergic to my bfs cats yet i continue to pet, cuddle with them when im over his place because i love them and the bf too. and i agree if u really cant stand him just make him a seperate room when ur wifey is gone. im hopin he has toys and chews to play with too :albino:

 

[guccigrande]

First off, let me say that I do not dislike chihuahuas or dogs in general.

That said let me explain my situation a bit.

I got married about 8 months ago (28M, 33F). My fiance has a 3 year old chihuahua, Pete. I knew she had the dog but we did not live together before getting married. I have never been much of an animal person but from what I saw of the dog I did not thinking sharing a house with him would be too difficult.

I was wrong. For the past 8 months I have tried everything to come to terms with the fact that this dog will be in my life for a LONG time to come. My wife adores him, calls him her "son". We have spent a lot of money to get him trained and it got better but he is still so willful.

My issues:

1. CONSTANT following, staring, being underfoot when she is not there.
2. Does not listen, very stubborn.
3. REFUSES to poop or pee in the cold, the instant we let him in, he goes.
4. Constant jumping in my lap, getting hair all over me. I am mildly allergic too.


I could go on and on. I guess what I want / need to know is how can I get the dog to understand that I am to be left alone? I have never and would never mistreat the dog but I really do not want to be my wife's stand in when she is away. I have discussed these issues with her and she cannot get past the fact that some people are just not animal people. I really cannot stand the constant following, lap jumping, etc. He even tries to get into the bathroom AND shower when I try to use them!!!

Please give advice on I how I can co-exist with this dog. What I want is to have minimal interaction.

Thanks...

Well, I think pretty much everything you mentioned there apart from the peeing is normal for chihuahuas and some other dogs in general.
They always follow you because they are people poochies and so you do need to watch out where you step because they are so small.
Chihuahuas can be stubborn, but they DO learn and listen with persistence and training
The hair shedding is also normal and unfortunately can't be stopped, but if you brush them daily they shed less.
As for the peeing and pooing, I have puppy pad trained my ones, so they know where to go at home so maybe you can give that a go.

But when you chose to marry your wife, the chihuahua came as a package and you should just try and love it too because its part of your family now.
Good luck

 

[sammyp]

like in all the other comments he is a chihuahua and this is what he is going to do. My girls wont pee outside when its raining so pee pads are your best bet.
Sorry to say this but if your wife is anything like the people on here she will want you to live together end off !!!!
I think you can just ignore him but im worried pete will end up hating you and that will make your problems worse.
Training and a lil give and take is just about your only option.
Good luck your going to need it lol

 

[LostLakeLua]

Ok I am prolly gonna get boo'ed off the forum for this... but no matter HOW nice and sweet you are I have no idea how your wife or any other chi person could marry you, lmao.

Ok ok ok, that horrible part of me aside; if I had no choice but to coexist with a *shudders at the thought* non-dog-person.... I would probably feel better if I (that being your wife, if you make your feelings clear to her) set up an area myself for my dogs... somewhere in my room that I knew you couldn't be around him. I know this sounds seriously horrible; but if you truly don't want the dog around you and to be left alone I would feel horrible leaving my dog to deal with that. Chi's have no way of grasping that people want to be entirely "left alone." So I'd avoid the situation entirely and set up an area with a pee pad and toys and chewies so that while I was gone the dog had a safe place to be. Not that being around you is "unsafe" don't get me wrong. I just wouldn't want to put my dog through being stressed/confused trying to follow someone around and getting shut down constantly... sure they can learn to cope with it but that doesn't mean they'll be happy. I guess that makes me a horrible person but so be it. I choose not to surround myself with people who aren't dog people.... call me the crazy dog lady but my dogs happiness is a priority. I can't imagine my OH being any different than scooping up our dogs for kisses, "tucking" them into blankets at night, and loving the attention when we're cuddled under blankets with little warm doggies piled on top. I don't understand how you non-dog people work, LOL.

 

[notgivingup]

Wow! Thanks for the great responses! I was expecting to be blasted.

I don't hate Pete. I just, for better or worse, am not a dog person. For my part I am going to continue to work on it. I really have no choice, he will be around for a long time!

I had not thought of asking her to set up a separate place for him when she is not around. That would be better than him being stressed because I don't want him around.

Thanks so much for being kind and understanding!

 

[Kaila]

My boyfriend and I have struggled with our relationship being "dog person" vs. "non-dog person" (specifically CAT person) for a few months. There are things that I love about Teddy, and dogs in general, that my boyfriend just finds grating. For example, I love snuggling with Teddy in the bed at night. It's been that way for us ever since he was a puppy. My boyfriend hates it!

However, we finally struck a compromise that seems to work for us. Like you, he doesn't like Teddy being in our business 24/7. Teddy pretty much goes wherever I go, and I like it that way, but when my boyfriend is with me he wants to be with ME-- not always with me and my dog. The compromise was that Teddy be allowed to sleep in the bed, but before bedtime we have an hour or two to cuddle in bed and watch TV while Teddy lays on his own dog bed on the floor. When we're ready to sleep I let him back on the bed.

I think that creating boundaries really helped the relationship between my boyfriend and Teddy. In the beginning he seemed to resent him for always being around (he viewed him as a little bit of a third wheel, I think). Now he treats him like more of a buddy. I don't know whether he truly enjoys being around him or whether he's just trying really hard for my sake, but it has helped to reduce some of the anxiety on my end. Either way, I think that whether he likes him or just tolerates him isn't important.. As long as our compromise works for our situation, then I'm happy.

My point is that, if your wife creates a space just for Pete and you don't feel forced to be around him constantly, you may find that you enjoy interacting with him on your own terms and in small increments.

I hope it works out for you! Good luck!

 

[mellawson]

Are you defiantly not a dog person or are you a person who just never really had a dog? My husband claimed to not be a dog person at first but turns out he just never had a good relationship with a dog. May I suggest instead of trying to figure out how to "co-exist" with Pete try finding some way to enjoy him. Watch how your wife interacts with him (when she thinks your not paying attention) and see how happy she is, you don't have to be a dog person to appreciate that.

 

[pjknust]

well, Im with KittynKahlua, but wasnt gonna stir up a stink. You would be history in my house. My dogs come first and I would never be friends with much less live with a non dog person. I make my living with dogs, been in dogs all my life, my grandpa was the 'dogcatcher' when I was a little girl.

Nope, sorry, no ear ticklin pointers for you. You would be on the porch

pam in TX

Ok I am prolly gonna get boo'ed off the forum for this... but no matter HOW nice and sweet you are I have no idea how your wife or any other chi person could marry you, lmao.

Ok ok ok, that horrible part of me aside; if I had no choice but to coexist with a *shudders at the thought* non-dog-person.... I would probably feel better if I (that being your wife, if you make your feelings clear to her) set up an area myself for my dogs... somewhere in my room that I knew you couldn't be around him. I know this sounds seriously horrible; but if you truly don't want the dog around you and to be left alone I would feel horrible leaving my dog to deal with that. Chi's have no way of grasping that people want to be entirely "left alone." So I'd avoid the situation entirely and set up an area with a pee pad and toys and chewies so that while I was gone the dog had a safe place to be. Not that being around you is "unsafe" don't get me wrong. I just wouldn't want to put my dog through being stressed/confused trying to follow someone around and getting shut down constantly... sure they can learn to cope with it but that doesn't mean they'll be happy. I guess that makes me a horrible person but so be it. I choose not to surround myself with people who aren't dog people.... call me the crazy dog lady but my dogs happiness is a priority. I can't imagine my OH being any different than scooping up our dogs for kisses, "tucking" them into blankets at night, and loving the attention when we're cuddled under blankets with little warm doggies piled on top. I don't understand how you non-dog people work, LOL.

 

[Tanna]

I would also suggest that Pete get alot of exercise, it will help him get out some of his energy and he will be much more mellow when he's hanging out, but his excerise needs to be daily. Good luck

 

[guccigrande]

I would also suggest that Pete get alot of exercise, it will help him get out some of his energy and he will be much more mellow when he's hanging out, but his excerice needs to be daily. Good luck

I agree, exercise could help quite a lot

 

[Pixie Luna]

I almost found that quite sad to read.
Granted you made the effort to come here for advice, but it seemed like you have instantly dismissed Pete without giving him a chance to bond with you etc?
Whats the worst that could happen from a dog wanting to bond with you - especially a Chihuauha! What would you do if it was a great Dane lol

Like you say he's in your life for the longterm - make the best of that situation he is like a member of 'your' family, im sure if I was getting married id have said you take me AND the dog nor me OR the dog
Im not a cat person, I hate the amount of furr they lose, their claws make me shudder but if it was my husbands cat I would love it for being just that...a part of my husbands personality.
To show love for an animal demonstrates empathy and emotion to me.
Maybe explore if it could even be a hint of jealousy on your part if your wife is so close to Pete?

 

[felix93]

I have a FB friend whose husband doesn't like dogs but my friend has dogs all her life. They married for over 40 years and are still happily married. I don't know the exact secret of their happy marriage, but they agree to draw a line regarding my friend's dogs. The dogs have their own nursery, I mean nursery is like a human baby ones, they even have a baby cot in there for the dogs to sleep at night. A wardrobe and all in that room. They have a baby gate on the door, so I guess the husband can put her dogs in their room while she's not at home. But they have more than 1 dog, so that means the dogs are not lonely and not seeking for human attention while in their room. I understand not everybody is a dog person, my husband is more a cat person and he doesn't mind the dogs in the house and my dogs (both Chihuahuas and Staffordshire Bull Terriers) learn not to cross the line with time, but they have their own companies to play and socialise with, so even if my son or I am not around, the dogs are happy enough to play together without bothering my husband.

Good luck and hope you will find a solution soon.