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Desparate to Co-Exist. Need advice...

12019 Views 46 Replies 26 Participants Last post by  Angel1210
First off, let me say that I do not dislike chihuahuas or dogs in general.

That said let me explain my situation a bit.

I got married about 8 months ago (28M, 33F). My fiance has a 3 year old chihuahua, Pete. I knew she had the dog but we did not live together before getting married. I have never been much of an animal person but from what I saw of the dog I did not thinking sharing a house with him would be too difficult.

I was wrong. For the past 8 months I have tried everything to come to terms with the fact that this dog will be in my life for a LONG time to come. My wife adores him, calls him her "son". We have spent a lot of money to get him trained and it got better but he is still so willful.

My issues:

1. CONSTANT following, staring, being underfoot when she is not there.
2. Does not listen, very stubborn.
3. REFUSES to poop or pee in the cold, the instant we let him in, he goes.
4. Constant jumping in my lap, getting hair all over me. I am mildly allergic too.

I could go on and on. I guess what I want / need to know is how can I get the dog to understand that I am to be left alone? I have never and would never mistreat the dog but I really do not want to be my wife's stand in when she is away. I have discussed these issues with her and she cannot get past the fact that some people are just not animal people. I really cannot stand the constant following, lap jumping, etc. He even tries to get into the bathroom AND shower when I try to use them!!!

Please give advice on I how I can co-exist with this dog. What I want is to have minimal interaction.

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He may be following you around because he knows that you are upset and he is trying to make peace. He may be desperately attempting all the things that work with your wife and doesn't understand why he isn't making you happy.

You know, even dog people have different ideas of what's acceptable. I am a very physical, huggy person and I like my dogs all over me. I have a friend who doesn't like her dog in her lap but thinks nothing of letting the dog lick her plate, which I think is gross. I let my dogs kiss my face. My husband doesn't like them to kiss his face. When they try, he tells them no, eases them down into his lap, and then pets them and tells them they are good dogs. Our late German Shepherd (RIP Tesla) knew that it was okay to jump on my husband but not me so she would politely sit in front of me to be petted. They are capable of learning boundaries. Gentle consistency has always worked for us. An ex-pen or baby gate when your wife leaves is perfectly acceptable to me as long as he doesn't spend all his time there.

You are right, though. You have to figure this out because not only will he be in your life for a long while, if you wife is a dog person, he is not going to be the only dog in your life. Figure out what your boundaries are and don't feel guilty about it. Enforce those gently with the dog and your wife. Their feelings matter but so do yours! You can work this out - it can be done.
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I wouldn't send you hate mail for that post. That's an excellent point in my opinion.
LOL - that's why I said doesn't everybody want another one? Want and need are definitely two different things. I know my limit for sure and that's the two that I have. And yes, I agree adding another one would just cause more trouble for you at this point. :)
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