lol so funny i had to share...................was at WAL-MART buying a bag of Purina dog chow for my dog , in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog chow, RIGHT ??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intens......ive care, with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer. I have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say........................ now that you've read it I have to confess, I copied it from someone else ( i got this from some one else too but i really have had people ask me if i had a dog when i bought clothes or food ect lmao wow)
dog humor
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LMAO!! I smuggled Penny into WAL-MART (or tried to) last week under my coat. As soon as I walked in she got a whiff of the chicken in the deli section and wiggled. The greeter asked if I had a dog in my coat and before I even thought about it I said "no I'm just happy to see you" he said he was happy to see me too but I couldn't bring my dog in.
Two men were walking their dogs together. The first guy with a Chocolate lab and the second a Chihuahua
The first guy says, "Hey, you want to get something to eat?"
The second guy replies, "Yeah, but they all have signs that say 'No Dogs Allowed'."
The first guy with the lab puts sunglasses on and hands the other guy a pair. "Follow my lead," he says.
As he walks into the restaurant a waiter stops him and says, "Sir, no dogs allowed."
The man replies, "It's O.K., this is my seeing eye dog." The waiter apologizes and leads the man to a table as the second man enters.
The same waiter stops him but the guy says, "This is my seeing eye dog. I'm with the other guy."
The waiter replies, "Sir, you can't fool me, you have a Chihuahua."
The man freaks out and says, "A Chihuahua?!!! They gave me a freaking Chihuahua???!!!"
:toothy10:
The first guy says, "Hey, you want to get something to eat?"
The second guy replies, "Yeah, but they all have signs that say 'No Dogs Allowed'."
The first guy with the lab puts sunglasses on and hands the other guy a pair. "Follow my lead," he says.
As he walks into the restaurant a waiter stops him and says, "Sir, no dogs allowed."
The man replies, "It's O.K., this is my seeing eye dog." The waiter apologizes and leads the man to a table as the second man enters.
The same waiter stops him but the guy says, "This is my seeing eye dog. I'm with the other guy."
The waiter replies, "Sir, you can't fool me, you have a Chihuahua."
The man freaks out and says, "A Chihuahua?!!! They gave me a freaking Chihuahua???!!!"
:toothy10:
One more joke...
A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet Chihuahua along for company.
One day, the Chihuahua starts chasing butterflies and before long the Chihuahua discovers that he is lost.
So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.
The Chihuahua thinks,"OK, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by,
and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the
leopard is about to leap, the Chihuahua exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. Wonder if
there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror
comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That Chihuahua nearly had me."
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this
knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the Chihuahua saw
him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up. The monkey soon
catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard
is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen
to that conniving canine." Now the Chihuahua sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks,
"What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending
he hasn't seen them yet ... and just when they get close enough to hear, the Chihuahua says... "Where's that
damn monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard."
:munky2::lol:
A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet Chihuahua along for company.
One day, the Chihuahua starts chasing butterflies and before long the Chihuahua discovers that he is lost.
So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.
The Chihuahua thinks,"OK, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by,
and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the
leopard is about to leap, the Chihuahua exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. Wonder if
there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror
comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That Chihuahua nearly had me."
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this
knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the Chihuahua saw
him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up. The monkey soon
catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard
is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen
to that conniving canine." Now the Chihuahua sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks,
"What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending
he hasn't seen them yet ... and just when they get close enough to hear, the Chihuahua says... "Where's that
damn monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard."
:munky2::lol:
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120 Posts
Thanks for the laughs, everyone!
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