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Excerpts from Diaries of Cats and Dogs
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Excerpts from a Dog's Diary


8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!


9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!


9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!


10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!


12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!


1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!


3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!


5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!


7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!


8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!


11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations
perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my
strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. B**tards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed
in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.

However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems
to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
safe. For now...
 

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dogs and cats

That's too funny ! I am laughing my head off , just reading the bird is an informant and the dog is dumb to come back in ! How funny !
 
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