Heeeere's Lily!

One day last winter it was so cold, a windchill of -20, and the daycare people wouldn't let me go outside, not even to do my business. They wouldn't let Big Guy go out either. Biggie was a 13 year german shorthaired pointer and he was just too old and sickly to go out in such cold weather. He was a real sweetie with the small dogs and I loved him a lot, kinda like a grandpa. So they put me and Biggie together in a room with blankets on the floor. One of my human friends came in to check on us and found me curled up against Biggie's chest, inside his sweater (his mom always made him wear sweaters too). We were keeping each other warm during our nap. My mom kept saying she'd give anything for a picture of that. Biggie finally died last year, right before my mom's long turkey weekend. I still miss him so much. I sent his mom a nice card when he died and she said that made her feel a lot better. She said I brought a lot of sweetness into Biggie's life and that made me feel better too. On really cold days I still think about Biggie and the day he let me crawl inside his sweater. It always makes me feel a lil bit warmer.

My mom only had her Gracie for about 2 months but she still cries when she thinks about her. Gracie was a shi-tzu mix, really just a mutt, and she had her first seizure the day after mom adopted her. Some people might have taken the dog back to where she came from but mom was already in love with Gracie. She never even thought of giving her back. Nope, Gracie was her baby and mom was going to make sure she got the best possible care. There were lots of nights when mom rushed Gracie to the emergency vet in NH because she was just so scared and didn't know what else to do. She so didn't want Gracie to die but she also didn't want her to suffer. The medicine the vets gave her didn't seem to work very well and not only that, but it did something very bad to her. It changed her personality from a sweet lil snuggle butt to a very aggressive dog. Mom used to have to throw a towel over Gracie's head just to hook up her leash or take her to the vet's. She had to be muzzled just to be examined at the vet's. And she had no energy at all. This was not the Gracie my mom had fallen in love with and nothing seemed to be working, no matter how many vets they went to.

One day my mom came home from work to find Gracie panting heavily, lying in a pool of urine in the kitchen. No telling how long Gracie had been like that cuz my mom was gone 8 or 9 hours that day. Gracie tried to get up when she saw mom but her legs wouldn't hold her and she just collapsed back onto the floor. Mom was afraid it was finally time, so she drove to the regular vet with Gracie on her lap. She told Gracie how much she loved her and how much she meant to her and that she would never ever forget her, not for one single day. She told her not to be afraid and to wait for her at the Rainbow Bridge with Sam, her cocker spaniel she had as a kid. She also sang You Are My Sunshine cuz that was hers and Gracie's special song together. Mom cried and cried, could hardly even see the road while she was driving.

The vet agreed that it would be best to let Gracie go so that's what mom did. She held her in her arms so Gracie would know how much she was loved. Mom's face was the last thing Gracie saw and her voice saying "I love you, little girl" was the last thing she heard. When mom got home the house was so empty and mom was so sad. But the sadness started to go away the day she adopted me. I can light up mommy's face like nobody else can. I know she still loves Gracie but I'm so glad she found a place for me in her heart. We have pictures of Gracie all over the house so I know how cute she was. And I know my mom will always love me the same way she loved her first baby girl. Me and mom have our own special song too. It's called I Will (love you forever and forever, love you with all my heart, love you whenever we're together, love you when we're apart). My mom doesn't sing so good but I know it means love.

Mom wonders if she did enough to save Gracie or if she allowed her to suffer too long and I guess that's why she still cries for her. She's still trying to figure it out 2 1/2 years later. One thing she knows for sure is that sometimes we can't save the ones we love most but we can keep them alive in our hearts.

I gotta go make mommy laugh now so she'll stop crying.

I said I'd tell you more about my daycare and then I forgot. Well, I have a lot on my mind so it's no wonder.

For the first 6 months after mommy adopted me I just stayed home alone all day. Me and mom both hated it but we had no choice. I had the whole house to myself but I spent my time sleeping and waiting for mom to come home. I sure did miss her. During the winter she kept the heat turned up real high all day so I wouldn’t be cold. She was afraid that if she left me in a sweater I might catch it on something and hurt myself. So she just left the heat at 76 to keep me warm. One day my mom found out about a doggy daycare that wasn’t too far from where we live and it was kind of on the way to her job (that’s where she goes every day). Mom checked the place out and decided to give it a try. At first she just took me 3 days a week cuz it was pretty expensive. But after a couple months she decided she had nothing better to spend her money on than me so the heck with the cost.

I had never really played with other dogs before so I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know if the people there would yell at me if I did something wrong so I mostly just sat off by myself and watched. It turned out that the people who work there (a couple of old ladies, like my mom, and a bunch of teenagers) never yell at us even when we’re naughty. And they didn’t make me play with dogs that might hurt me cuz I’m sort of a little girl. One day Molly and Zeke - they’re jack russells and they are “carbonated,” as my mom says - made a Lily sandwich and got me to come play with them. Mae Westie is a west highland white terrier and she’s lots of fun too. And then there’s Jake. Jake is a big red chow and mom says chows aren’t usually so friendly but Jake is different. Jake loves me. He lets me chase him all over the yard and then he turns around and chases me all over. Sometimes I get Molly and Mae to follow me and poor Jake has a whole harem after him. It’s pretty funny and he’s a good sport about it but just between you and me, I think he secretly loves the attention from us little girls.

They have about 20 dogs there every day. I’m not allowed to play with most of them. Not that they’re mean or anything, but if they’re not careful they could hurt me. On very cold or snowy days they let me and a couple other small dogs play inside so we don’t freeze our butts off. Speaking of butts, it was my friend Buddy (a boston terrier) who taught me to sniff butts. I never knew it could be so much fun! I have to jump way up off the ground to get to Jake’s butt but it’s worth it. It smells so yummy! Anyway, when it’s warmer out we play in these big covered runs, maybe 3 or 4 of us in each one. That’s more fun that you can even imagine. But the most, most fun is when it’s warm and we get to play in the big yard. There’s grass and trees and bushes and flowers and all sorts of good smelly stuff. I roll in the bark mulch with Buddy and I climb on these real big rocks and I lay down under the bushes when I get too warm. I’m the only one allowed UNDER the bushes cuz I’m so small. When it’s real hot outside we have wading pools. The first time I went in one was when I was chasing Mae Westie and she ran into a pool and of course I ran after her. Who knew there was water in that thing? I just stood there for a few seconds, then I jumped right out. I tried the wading pool a couple more times that first summer but I’m not sure I like it (if there’s water, can a bath be far behind?). But I’m not scared of it or anything. Not me.

On rainy days one of my human friends comes outside with me and she carries an umbrella over my head while I do my business cuz I hate getting my head wet. An umbrella - can you believe that? It’s true. And the kids argue about who gets to carry me in their jacket or sweatshirt when it’s chilly outside. I never knew people could be so nice. They spoil me almost as much as mommy does.

A few months ago this tiny white ball of fluff - Jackson - showed up for daycare. I could see how scared he was - his first time away from his forever mommy and he was smaller than me even. At naptime they put him in a crate with me cuz let’s face it, I’m not very scary looking. And since I used to be a mom myself, I know how to handle pups. I told him all about the other dogs and the humans and he was a lot less scared after that. The daycare people told my mom that I licked Jackson but I deny it ever happened. Me and Jackson got to be best buddies. He’s bigger than me now but he still treats me like A Big Girl and he lets me boss him around (I love that!!!). But best of all, Jake likes Jackson too so I don’t have to choose. I get to have 2 boyfriends!

A few months ago I was napping in mom’s arms while she was on the computer. All of a sudden I woke up and started shaking and I couldn’t stop. It wasn’t the kind of shaking I usually do when I’m cold or excited. This was different. Mom put me on the floor and my legs wouldn’t hold me up. I just laid on the rug and looked up at mom cuz I didn’t understand what was happening. Mom said it was less than a minute and I was fine right away but she was real scared. Mom’s other baby, Gracie, had the same kind of shaking only much, much worse and mom had to have her put down. Mom can’t even say the word “seizure” without bursting into tears. My shaking didn’t look exactly like a seizure but mom wasn’t taking any chances. Since this was a weekend she called an emergency place where she used to take Gracie, instead of our regular vet. It’s in another state but it’s not too far away. Mom was pretty calm until she opened her mouth to explain what had happened to me and then she started sobbing and couldn’t even speak for awhile. The nice lady on the phone just waited until mom got her voice back. She told mom to bring me in and off we went.

Mom was calm again until she had to say the word “seizure” to the doctor and sure enough, out poured the tears. The nice doctor checked me all over and then took some blood from me (I was so brave, I didn’t even whimper). He called my mom after we got home and said everything looked fine. Mom kept a real close eye on me (even closer than normal) and talked to my regular vet the next day. He said to just keep a log and see if there’s a pattern so we know what we’re dealing with. I don’t understand any of that but mom does.

Then a couple weeks ago I did that same shaking thing but all mom did is write it down in a book she bought (and give me tons of extra kisses). She wasn’t planning to go running to my vet every time I had a shaking thing but she just couldn’t relax about it either. Last week she took me in for another checkup and this time they found a heart murmur. Mom’s actually pretty calm about this - even she isn’t sure why - but she’s taking me in for an echocardiogram in two weeks so they’ll have a “baseline.” Mom asked the vet if I could live a long and healthy life without surgery (I’ve already had 2 surgeries for my bad teeth so mom would rather not have any more). The vet said “not only that, but it’s possible she can live a long and healthy life without medication.” That made my mom real happy and I guess that’s why she’s not frantic about this. But boy, you know how moms are and she sure keeps a close eye on me now!