[MarRose]

Hi.. I am new here.
I just lost my dog March 11th 2020. It's been very hard. I cry almost every day. My boy that I lost, i got him in 2007 and he was a beautiful long haired chi. The backstory is that when I initially got him I really didn't even want him at first because I got him 6weeks after losing my Foxy. I thought I made a mistake. I missed my previous dog so much. It Took me about 2 months to warm up to him.
I felt it best to get a different breed because I was so attached to foxy, who was a pomeranian. And I did not want to compare them.
I ended up totally adoring that little dog more than anything in the world. I am Crying as I write this now. And he ended up being the most beautiful and loving dog you could imagine. He was top show quality too!
Two weeks ago I got another chihuahua. Now I'm feeling regret and feel like returning her. She's very good, for a puppy. She is about 16 weeks now and pretty small. She was 2 pounds 2 weeks ago. She is a typically puppy, chewing on everything, we are working on potty training. She's cute. She's a longhair Chihuahua.
I really miss my boy and I do feel like I may have made a mistake. Maybe it was too soon. I'm torn. Should I return her or should I keep her. I can return her to the breeder within a few more days and get my $ back or I could give her a few more weeks to grow on me and give her back, and I would not ask for my $ back.
And this may sound mean but she's more of a pet quality then show quality and will not be as beautiful as he was. She has many nice features but I am comparing her to my boy I lost sadly and she us not as "typey" as he was. I know she is not him and they are all different. I fear that I may not be able to fall in love with her enough and I may always compare her to him. Maybe i need more time. As i mentioned earlier, it took me a few months to fall for my last guy because i was grieving so much. I know part of it is that I miss my boy so much as been only 4 months. Maybe it wasn't enough time. And now having a puppy, I see how much work it is to have a puppy. When I got my other guy he was 6 and a 1/2 months and he was pretty much trained and he had been in a dog show so he was very well behaved. And as he got older we got into a groove and he was easy and fun. And we shared such a deep love. I'm starting to feel that maybe I made a mistake. The house is now a mess...lol... I have 2 dog pens in the house and toys and wee wee pads and such...and and I can barely go out in the yard and enjoy the pool because she needs constant supervision. It is hard to even go out as she can climb out of the pen. I have to put her in a crate if i leave the room for more than a few minutes.
I thought I was ready for another dog. And I really miss having that type of relationship one has with a dog, but what I really most missed was my little boy. Of course I did miss having a dog, but I really missed him and our relationship.
I am confused. I am afraid if I give her back I will regret the decision. But I'm also afraid if I keep her I'll regret doing so. Any maybe it won't be fair to her to keep her and give her back in a month. I am having a trainer come july 13 for 5 sessions. If I return her I probably would not get another one for a while, maybe 6 months or a year or when I felt ready. I would also think about a different breed, maybe a pomeranian again or if I get another chihuahua I would want it to be more show quality.
Did I make a mistake or is it just the "puppy blues"?
Help! I feel awful!!

 

[lilbabyvenus]

I’m sure you’re still feeling heartbroken over your loss, which isn’t making this any easier on you. I would think very hard about your true feelings right now. If you keep this puppy will you be able to give it the proper love, care, and attention it needs? Or will you feel empty and hurt when you try to bond because of your loss? If you have any doubts then I would return them. But I will also say that the hurt you’re feeling doesn’t really go away - it’ll lessen over time, but it’ll always be there.... maybe this puppy will help you heal? We can’t know that, but there’s a lot for you to consider right now and I wish you the best of luck.

 

[MarRose]

Thanks for your reply. On monday I was 50-50 whether to keep her or return her. But I really thought about what it a d what it would be like to return her. Giving away her toys and her bed and not having her here. And it was just really hit me that I should keep her. She is really good. And she's adorable. And we are bonding. I'm happy with my decision.
Maybe it was too soon for me. But she's here now and she is helping me heal in some way. And in many ways she does look like my little guy that I lost. And it's nice to have a little reminder from certain angles. But she is her own person and has our own personality. She has been getting very good care. It's just hard when you lose somebody that you love so much. It doesn't ever go away. But I know it seems to be less painful with time as I had been through this before.
She's only 2 pounds and about 4 months old. She smart. I even had her on a leash for a couple minutes. It is hard having a puppy because I'm used to an adult dog that I was completely in the groove with. This has been a big change. I'm really trying to enjoy this stage while she so little.
It was very hard when I was not sure what to do. I thought about it constantly and I had a sick pit in my stomach because I was so torn.
Like I said I'm happy with my decision. I do think that it's a personal decision and people really need to think about it when they get a puppy, particularly after the loss of a beloved dog. I also thought that if I did return her would I get another one in 6 months or a year. And I figured I may not get so lucky with a puppy like her. Perhaps I could find one who was nearly identical looking to the one I lost, by it still wouldn't be him.
Anyways I'm keeping her and I'm happy about it. And she's happy to be here as well.

 

[CuddlesMom]

I'm so glad to hear you're keeping her. I hope in time you have a wonderful relationship with her. She will never be the same as the baby you lost, but she will still fill your heart with joy and love.