Chihuahua People Forum banner
1 - 19 of 19 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
233 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I wanted to share my story, of how Chloe changed my life for the better. I had been suffering from depression for 6 years. My parent's divorced when I was 6 years old, after my father threatened to kill my mother. No one knew I saw this, but I did. Once they divorced, I had to spend the night at my fathers house once per week. He would make a huge thing out of it, and say he was really excited, which made ME really excited because I thought he was changing for the better. Anyways, once I got there, he'd go to the pub and come back at 3am completely drunk. I was 6 years old, left in an unlocked house on a busy street, on a Friday night. He told me I wasn't allowed to use the phone, so I couldn't ring my Mum. This happened every friday night until I was 9 years old, when I finally had the guts to tell him I didn't want to be neglected any more. I still had to visit on Friday nights, but I didn't have to stay over. I was terribly bullied at school, everyday. I had my legs stuffed up drain pipes, beating me up, ripping out clumps of my hair...I came home with cuts all over my body, and I covered them up. No one ever knew. One thing I found the hardest was when people would make a sound in their throat, like they were throwing up. I have emetophobia, which is a phobia of vomit, and this stems from two things. 1) When someone puked on me when I was 8. 2) When I was raped at age 11 and I threw up on the guy.
I was also sexually harassed when I was 8, in the school bathroom. Again, I never told anyone.
I hit puberty early, and 2 weeks before I was raped (Age 11) they had showed us a video at school about pregnancy and sex. For the next 9 months, I was petrified I was pregnant. I thought people would reject me.
My emetophobia is an ongoing battle every day. I have panic attacks daily. I struggle to eat, because i'm scared i'll throw up, and then I feel guilty for eating because I might throw up. This led to self harm, and anorexia. I was diagnosed with "Anorexia secondary to anxiety" in september when I was admitted into hospital for weighing 56lbs (I'm 5 foot tall)
I had an awful psychiatrist. She was really mean to me. Each week, when I was weighed, she told me I wasn't doing well enough. That I wasn't trying, and that if it carried on I would be admitted into hospital again.
Back in May 2011, I got my beautiful Chloe. )She has helped me through everything...She even stopped me from killing myself on my 6th attempt. (Not going to go into details there)
Whenever I need a "shoulder to cry on" Well...There's Chloe! Though I usually cry on her head...Not her shoulder!! She licks away my tears, and cuddles up to me. Everyday I have a motive to get up and carry on. My dogs. Whenever I'm down, and I can't smile...guaranteed Chloe or Dexter will come bounding in the room doing something ridiculous!
I've even BEATEN one phobia...My OCD. I guess house training a puppy helps! :D. The other day, Dexter ate too much grass and threw up. Well, guess what? I cleared it up! I didn't panic! (YAAY!)
I'm homeschooled now, too. So I don't get physically bullied. I still get horrible messages on facebook, but really? They just don't bother me..I know they aren't true.
I spent a year in the house, without going out at all. Not even to the garden. I was too scared. Well...Chloe changed all that. She gets moody if she doesn't have her walk! :D
I'm in my early teens now, and I'm feeling pretty good. What is there to be depressed about? Sure, I have emetophobia. Sure, I didn't have a happy childhood. BUT...I have my dogs. I have my cat. I have my rabbit, my guinea pigs, my hamster! I have my Mum. And, I have God. :) What else do I need? Well...I guess a few more Chihuahuas couldn't hurt...:coolwink:
I'm free of psychiatrists and social workers. I eat. I've put on weight. I'm now 75lbs. I'm still underweight...BUT, I'm almost there.
Things DO get better. x
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
10,704 Posts
Good for you sweetie, I'm glad things are getting better, little by little. Keep
your head up. I never knew you were so young, you are very mature. I'm sorry
you had to go through such horrible things in your life, please know that I'm here
if you wish to talk or vent. I'm 27, so not exactly in your age range, but I have
lived through similar experiences, we have a few things in common, so if you
want to talk to someone who can relate, I'm here. BIG hugs!

ps: You have two of the cutest dogs around, I'm glad they bring you so much joy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,182 Posts
I'm with LS, you are so mature! You've been through so much at such a young age. I'm so thankful that you are strong and have a way of seeing the good that can still be found in the world. Your dogs are adorable!!! They really are two of the cutest I've ever seen. Stay strong girl, life can be beautiful if you know how to make it what you want. I admire you for your strength.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,188 Posts
That's a very nice story. I am all alone in a very remote location (no family at all) and my chis saved me from having any depression, etc. issues. I have owned big dogs, guinea pigs, parrots, cats, but nothing has ever been so good to me as my Chi family. It's like I can hear them saying, "Mommy we love you! You are the best!!!" Big smooches to Chloe and Dexter.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,480 Posts
I admire your strength and courage - strength to share your story so openly, and courage to persist in overcoming the legacies of your childhood.

My belief is that like so many of us "survivors" when you are older you'll be able to look back with a sense of achievement and much pride knowing that all those awful events of your childhood, every awful day you lived through, made you the incredible worman you are today, and will be tomorrow, and every other day of your life.

Such experiences in life make "special people" because, like it or not, whether they actually go out and try to, or just quietly go about their own lives minding their own business, their past lives always enable them to help others who're suffering similar experiences and they, in turn, survive and go on to help others too.

The road you've chosen is the only one. It's hard as hell I know, but the rewards at the end of this journey are well worth it, and thank goodness you've got the company of your babies along the way, they definitely make it worth our every effort.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
275 Posts
I am so proud of you. Isn't it amazing what we can do when we love these little guys enough to do what we couldn't do for ourselves.

My story is not so extreme but my Paco has also changed my life. I had a son who died and another one who went to jail for driving while intoxicated. Then I got laid off from my job that I really loved. I became very depressed and just played on the computer and ate.

Since I have had Paco, I have come out of my depression and lost 25 pounds. I am taking walks every day with him which has helped with the weight. And how can anyone be depressed watching his endless antics?

I am also feeding him raw food so I have been paying so much attention to what he is eating that I began doing the same thing for myself. I am eating healthier now too.

I am not trying to compare my situation to yours but I am just saying that I understand what you are saying. I know you will continue to be a blessing to each other!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,128 Posts
Dogs, particularly Chihuahuas -natures Prozac-
I am so glad your doing better. Keep your head up, and have pride in yourself and what you have accomplished for yourself. Those bullies just do not matter. I believe in karma and one day they WILL get theirs.
Stay proud girl.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,186 Posts
I've even BEATEN one phobia...My OCD. I guess house training a puppy helps! :D. The other day, Dexter ate too much grass and threw up. Well, guess what? I cleared it up! I didn't panic! (YAAY!)
I'm homeschooled now, too. So I don't get physically bullied. I still get horrible messages on facebook, but really? They just don't bother me..I know they aren't true.
I spent a year in the house, without going out at all. Not even to the garden. I was too scared. Well...Chloe changed all that. She gets moody if she doesn't have her walk! :D
I'm in my early teens now, and I'm feeling pretty good. What is there to be depressed about? Sure, I have emetophobia. Sure, I didn't have a happy childhood. BUT...I have my dogs. I have my cat. I have my rabbit, my guinea pigs, my hamster! I have my Mum. And, I have God. :) What else do I need? Well...I guess a few more Chihuahuas couldn't hurt...:coolwink:
I'm free of psychiatrists and social workers. I eat. I've put on weight. I'm now 75lbs. I'm still underweight...BUT, I'm almost there.
Things DO get better. x
I also never knew your age because you sound much more mature. I quoted you because I want you to remember your own words because they are very true! What is there to be depressed about? I am so very sorry for the things you had to go through in your childhood, but as LS and Di, who share similar stories said, those painful experiences can shape an awesome, fierce adult woman with an immense amount to offer life. You said you might still get messages on facebook but you don't let them bother you because you know they're not true--AMEN! Bullies are people who are deep down unhappy with themselves and if they can tear you down they can make them selves feel better. Please remember that. The best thing you can do is stay off facebook. You don't need it. You always have this forum and people who care and want the best for you always. You have your Mom, and like you said you have God--He will never leave you or forsake you--no matter what it may feel like sometimes. And like this thread started, you have two of the most precious Chis!!!! They are your best friends. They truly can take days when you don't want to go on, and they just give such unconditional love that they make EVERYTHING better. I thank God for your Dexter and Chloe because they changed your life!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,228 Posts
As I read this tears rose up. You are a strong person, you are a survivor. You are mature, which is something that happens to people who have not had the "normal" childhood. I am so happy your doing better and your little fur babies are so helpful. Hugs!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,776 Posts
My chihuahua Toby is coming to law school with me. I truly think that I wouldn't be able to make it without him. It will be my first time living more than 2 hours from my parents- I will be 3 states away. I am scared but I know that Toby and I will get through it together. I've also been fortunate enough to have dogs there for me when I've gone through issues similar to yours. They really are the best help. For your age you seem incredibly strong and perceptive. I know that your dogs will give you strength and unconditional love to get you through the hard times.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
10,704 Posts
There are some very powerful, kind, true words in this thread. I love how
supportive the Chi people are, you ladies are so wonderful. It really brings
me joy to see such positive and strong women passing on knowledge and
life advice. It's a beautiful thing. No matter our age, us girls we should stick
together, we are beautiful, we are intelligent, we are strong. Big hugs to all
of the sweet & oh so special ladies of Chi people. Hope everyone is having a
good night.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
655 Posts
My gosh you are such a courageous young lady! Thank you, so much for sharing your story! Very inspiring! I know what you mean about chi's. I used to be painfully shy and since Nala will go up to most people for a pet, she gives me the confidence to have a little conversation with them and this has transferred over into other social situations where I need confidence. It is true, too, what lulu's Mom said that God will never leave you or forsake you. That gives confidence, too.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
233 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I just re-read through all of your replies, and i'm sobbing! I can't believe how nice you are all being. I thank each and every one of you with all of my heart, because your kind words mean ever so much to me.
Whenever I get a flash back, or i'm having a panic attack, I often turn on my computer and go on this forum. I look at the photos of all the chihuahuas, and they make me smile. I look at how nice everyone is, and how helpful you all are. Makes me think, "Hey..Even though we chi slaves are on the crazy side, we all have good hearts!"
I want to share a little story here. Last week, I had to rehome one of my cats, Darcy. From day one, Darcy had attacked Dexter. I waited one month, to see if he would settle down, with 100% supervision. But if anything, it got worse. Dexter had a new cut, every day. I woud be sitting RIGHT next to Darcy, while my mum would sit right next to Dex. Still Darcy would pounce, put him in a head lock and chew on his head. Dex would scream in pain. Everytime we saw Darcy, Me and Mum would almost have a heart attack, screaming out "WHERE'S DEXTER? WHERE'S DEXTER?!".
I went on a different forum, one for cats and dogs. I posted on there saying I didn't know what to do, and how to calm Darcy down...And if he didn't I would unfortunately have to rehome him, because he could easily kill Dex. I didn't have ONE nice reply. They were all hating on me, and were terribly mean. To this day, I still get PM's on there, from all different kind of members, INCLUDING moderators. "How dare you think of rehoming Darcy?! HE WAS THERE FIRST! Throw Dexter out".
Hopefully, you will all agree with me here: I think of my dogs as family, and my cats as pets. Cats are independant, and will just go to a new home and go "Hey, I'm king of THIS house now, Dude." Chloe had come out of herself. She started playing with Dexter, every day. Picking up toys, playing tug of war, rolling around...Being a dog. Something she has never experienced. I couldn't take that away from her. 5 minutes from Dexter, and she cries. I fell in love with Dex from day one, and from then on, I felt like he had been here for years. Not only would Chloe be heart broken...I would be too. It would have been terrible if Darcy had killed Dexter.
We live in the town, with a large garden. Darcy went to a lovely shared house, which has 10 separate flats. It also has a lake, woodland, and 17 acres of ground. I think he'll be happy :D
Here is something I have by my bed, and it makes me laugh every morning:

Haters gonna hate. Potatoes gonna potate. :)
Thank you again, lovely chi-people! <3
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
251 Posts
I just re-read through all of your replies, and i'm sobbing! I can't believe how nice you are all being. I thank each and every one of you with all of my heart, because your kind words mean ever so much to me.
Whenever I get a flash back, or i'm having a panic attack, I often turn on my computer and go on this forum. I look at the photos of all the chihuahuas, and they make me smile. I look at how nice everyone is, and how helpful you all are. Makes me think, "Hey..Even though we chi slaves are on the crazy side, we all have good hearts!"
I want to share a little story here. Last week, I had to rehome one of my cats, Darcy. From day one, Darcy had attacked Dexter. I waited one month, to see if he would settle down, with 100% supervision. But if anything, it got worse. Dexter had a new cut, every day. I woud be sitting RIGHT next to Darcy, while my mum would sit right next to Dex. Still Darcy would pounce, put him in a head lock and chew on his head. Dex would scream in pain. Everytime we saw Darcy, Me and Mum would almost have a heart attack, screaming out "WHERE'S DEXTER? WHERE'S DEXTER?!".
I went on a different forum, one for cats and dogs. I posted on there saying I didn't know what to do, and how to calm Darcy down...And if he didn't I would unfortunately have to rehome him, because he could easily kill Dex. I didn't have ONE nice reply. They were all hating on me, and were terribly mean. To this day, I still get PM's on there, from all different kind of members, INCLUDING moderators. "How dare you think of rehoming Darcy?! HE WAS THERE FIRST! Throw Dexter out".
Hopefully, you will all agree with me here: I think of my dogs as family, and my cats as pets. Cats are independant, and will just go to a new home and go "Hey, I'm king of THIS house now, Dude." Chloe had come out of herself. She started playing with Dexter, every day. Picking up toys, playing tug of war, rolling around...Being a dog. Something she has never experienced. I couldn't take that away from her. 5 minutes from Dexter, and she cries. I fell in love with Dex from day one, and from then on, I felt like he had been here for years. Not only would Chloe be heart broken...I would be too. It would have been terrible if Darcy had killed Dexter.
We live in the town, with a large garden. Darcy went to a lovely shared house, which has 10 separate flats. It also has a lake, woodland, and 17 acres of ground. I think he'll be happy :D
Here is something I have by my bed, and it makes me laugh every morning:

Haters gonna hate. Potatoes gonna potate. :)
Thank you again, lovely chi-people! <3
Oh wow sweetie after everything you've been through and youre still strong. It is truly inspiring. Like the others I never would have guessed you were so young. Just remember human friends will come and go but furry friends will love you forever!! You are doing very well. Keep up the good work and being an amazing momma to your babies
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,188 Posts
I too admire your strength and courage to continue on each and everyday. They set a wall in your path and tried to stop your progress, and make you come in last. Wanted so hard to see you fall and to stay down, but everytime you're the one who picks yourself up off the ground. They hate the fact that you are stronger than them, dont ever give up and continue to stand. It makes you a much better person than they will ever be.

I too have had other great dogs in my life, but none can compare to my chihuahuas!! Stay strong girly, you have over come so much in such a short time, and with your current age age still young, it wasnt that long ago that it all happened to you. We are always here for you. We may be hundreds even thousands of miles apart but this forum puts us right at each others finger tips ;)

Big hugs from the Paytons!! (Me, olivia, hotchi, knuckles, and sasha) :D
 
1 - 19 of 19 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top