Chihuahua People Forum banner

1 - 20 of 42 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,755 Posts
Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Today while OH was slobbing out on the sofa (as he does, just think of the dad in the series "The Royal Family"... seriously.) Red went over to him and curled up on his legs. In 2 seconds flat OH picked up Red saying "you need to go to mum"

I turned round to OH and said "You don't even like Red" his reply "Do I have to"

I just said "No" and cuddled Red.

He was like this for 2 weeks with Jake but loves him now (Not as much as I love him) but I have had Red 2 months now and he jsut won't acknowledge him.

I admit it upset me to see OH just pick Red up like he was vermin and passed him to me. He never even give him a little stroke or anything before moving him.

It has made me think even less of him than I did before (he done something which I can never forgive him for or trust again).

So "How would this incident effect you"

Deme x
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,637 Posts
I think if there are already problems in the relationship I'd be majorly pisse off and boot him off the sofa and put red in his place :)

Maybe he doesn't realise a nice dog web he sees one?? At the end of the day you have 2 lovely boys in your life... Ignore the other haha

But I'd be pissed off and he'd be sleeping on the couch
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,497 Posts
My husband is not a real dog person after all these years he does that too to the "new" ones. he said dogs are mine and such, I think he just doesn't want to show how much he loves these lil guys. We found out he has dog dander allergies mild but still and I said now what he said "now what?" he could never see (my) dogs go anywhere and said well 6 will be our limit because of his allergies LOL. we went to the store and he got them new shampoo and ect so they say it or not in the mood but give him time and brush it off as just him being him.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,755 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
I think if there are already problems in the relationship I'd be majorly pisse off and boot him off the sofa and put red in his place :)
Yes big problems in the relationship, he acts the perfect partner in front of people but he is a proffessional compulsive liar, swore on his own mothers life who is in really bad health over a serious issue and I found him out.

But I'd be pissed off and he'd be sleeping on the couch
I had to laugh at that last comment, when he goes in a childish mood (which is often) he storms off and sleeps on a mattrass on the floor in the study. So he has been sleeping next door on the floor for a few months now and "I LOVE IT". No joking here...

I actually dread the day he decides to sleep in the bed again as being obese he snores like a wart hog. If he isn't snoring he is whistling or rolls over squashing me. He has even woke himself up a few times snoring.

I have trouble sleeping anyway with my lung condition and the pains I encounter at the mo but at least when I wake up its to silence and not the wart hog :D.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
16,071 Posts
I'm sorry you had to deal with that Deme. Things like that can really break your heart. Personally, if someone doesn't like my pups, then they don't like me. That's just how I feel. Because I think if someone truly cares about you they find your passions an importance. I would be worried about what he might do behind my back to my pups just out of spite.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
12,272 Posts
Oh i would be so upset as well,i know who you mean( love the royal family) i'm one of these people who can ignore somebody for weeks /months/years if they upset me,i'm afraid i wouldn't talk to him for months if that was my hubby,I WOULD MAKE HIM SUFFER.revenge is sweet !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,637 Posts
Omg Dawn I nearlly fell of my sofa haha I ha an image of you sleepig next to pumba from the lion king hhshahahahahaha sorry

Relationships are hard but when they are bad its hard to imagine that it was ever good! I hope things work out the way you want! Honestly if he speaks BS and swears in his sick mothers life then really he's not a good bloke.. You have your boys

If I ever meet someone which is unlikely they have to like small dogs they have no choice in that coz if they don't I won't be involved
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,755 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
I trust him in the fact that he would never do anything to hurt Jake or Red, hurt me mentally yes... but I do trust him not to hurt my dogs or horses for that matter in any shape or form.

He leaves all the care of my animals to me unless on a rare occasion I ask for help.

He likes Jake as he says Jake is a proper dog where as to him Red isn't. He doesn't like the dome shaped head. Also Jake has so much charisma that people can't but love him.

OH is actually quite protective of Jake.

If the relationship was better it probably would not bother me so much but if Ihad to choose between him and the dogs then it would be..

Single White Female with two adorable dogs looking for .... yadda yadda yadda lol


Deme x
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
323 Posts
I told my Hubby that the dogs are part of me and if you dont like it then walk our the door. Its been 4 years now and he loves all of them just like me...So i would kick him to the floor and have Red as the King....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,020 Posts
I know how you feel, it always hurts my feelings when one of our guys doesnt get acknowledged or treated kindly by someone else. When I had roommates and had just Reese it would break my heart to see him run up to greet a guest or roommate with a wagging tail and be totally ignored. One of our roommates was kind of a jerk and claimed to not like Reese, but I would often catch him snuggled up with Reese playing video games on the couch.
One of the things that makes me really love and appreciate my fiance is how kindly he treats my animals. I got Reese shortly after our relationship started and he BEGGED me not to get a chihuahua, his grandma had a chi mix when he was little who was really unfriendly, snappy, yappy etc, and ever since he disliked them. He said they werent cute, had terrible temperaments, on and on. I got Reese, who is a fantastic dog by the way, and he fell head over heals for him. He positively adores Reese, and Reese adores him as well. He didnt want me to get Miley, but reluctantly agreed, and to his credit has never treated her like she wasnt welcome. He always gives her her share of special attention too, and she is Daddys girl for sure.
It sounds to me like he just isnt bothered about your feelings, and not respecting your pets is just an extension of him not respecting you. Ill bet Red will learn to just sort of ignore him though, your feelings were probably much more hurt on his behalf than his feelings were, so try not to worry.
Im sorry youre having such an unhappy time, it sounds like some changes need to happen for you!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,387 Posts
Oh hunny I feel for you! My Ex-husband sounds an awful lot like you husband. My Ex was a lazy no good, lying, manipulative so and so. He has not worked for over 10 years and has NO plans of EVER working again. He is such a great liar and manipulator that he has even managed to get on permanent state disability. This is what he lives off of along with mooching off his parents (he lives with them at 41 years old in their two bedroom condo) When we were married he would just sit on his lazy butt all day long and watch TV or be online. He is a dog person so there were no issues there, other than he only wanted the fun part of dog ownership but the feeding, caring for, picking up after, etc... that was my job. However he HATED my parrots with a passion and one day when I came home from work I discovered that he "accidently" left my Cockatiels cage door opened while the cage was out on the patio and my beloved bird had flown away. I put the cage out there before I left for work because he constantly complained about the birds chirping and singing so I was trying to accomodate him to keep him happy. The only reason why he didn't do the same to my Indian Ringneck and my African Grey was because a) they cost a heck of a lot more money and b) I always kept their wings clipped. I usually kept my Cockatiels wings clipped as well, but he had recently went through a molt and his flights had grown back in and I just had not had a chance to take him down to get it done. When I finally got up the courage to file for divorce he was all accomodating and said he wanted to make the divorce easy for both of us so it wouldn't affect our daughter. I filed for an uncontested divorce, he signed the papers, we remained friends for our daughters sake and I toted his sorry lazy butt to all kinds of places and then the DAY BEFORE our divorce was to be final he went behind my back and sued me saying that I forced him to sign the divorce papers and he was under mental duress. He even provided to the court a "doctors report" that stated that he is mentally ill (which to some degree I do believe, but not to the extent that the report goes into). The report even states that he had no contact with friends (even though he CONSTANTLY hung out with his best friend and his wife) and that he has a serious social anxiety disorder and he can not cope being around other people, especially strangers. Well the divorce got overturned and I was forced to pay him $115,000 to buy him out of "his" portion of my house (I was the one that put the down payment on the house and I was the only one that ever made a mortgage payment, but thanks to California laws and us being married over 10 years they considered it his house too. *sigh*). The judgment was in July of 2009 and guess what he must have magically been cured of his social anxiety disorder because in December 2009 he flew all the way across the United States by HIMSELF to meet a girl for the first time that he met online and he lived with her and her parents for a month! That's some social anxiety disorder he has!!!! He kept telling our daughter that he was in love and she was going to have a new step-mother. Come to find out he met this girl on a disabled singles meet-up group. She is 14 years younger than him and she is seriously disabled. Well after he returned back to California he was all talk about his new fiancee, etc..... but then he aburtly stopped talking about her so my guess is her parents caught on to what a low life he really is and cut off all ties (at least I hope that's the case for this poor girls sake anyway!), not that he would ever admit it, but whatever.

Anyway..... Sorry to ramble, but when I hear of a man doing a woman wrong, it just makes my blood boil!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,755 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
Cor that sounds terrible,

I wrote a long thread going on and on about his faults then thought though I have no respect for him amd couldn't give a toss what I said about him, on CP it wasn't the place to do this.

Basically I am in the worst relationship I have ever had and I have been in some volitile ones. Why don't I leave.

1) My house in Newcastle is leased out so I don't have anywhere to go
2) I would def move back to Newcastle as my family is there
3) I would have to sell Spike my horse which would be hard but I'd have to do it, I'd never sell Kyle
4) Some days are ok and I foolishly wonder if things will get better.. until he starts with his moods and moaning again

5) and also though not that important finances.

With his faults and he has loads I do still have feelings for him but starting to wonder if its more friendship than anything else.

Deme x :(
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,637 Posts
Oh Dawn I'm really upset for you :( when does the lease end on your house is there a get out clause?? You have enough problems with your health and run if bad luck you don't need him making matters worse it makes me sad.

And fyi tell oh to stick it with regards to reds head shape he's a chihuahua who looks like a proper chihuahua and can shove his wart hogginess back on the sofa
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,090 Posts
I am so sorry you are dealing with that, I wouldn't stand for it, if he doesn't treat my animals with respect he's not treating me with respect. I am very blessed to have a hubby who loves my animals, and is googoo ga ga over them all the time. He actually made Zoeys first sweater/fleecy coat. He helped me come up with a 'better' snuggle bag to make for Zoey, one that has all the attributes I felt were missing in other snuggle bags. He doesn't like my golden retriever much but he still treats her with respect. As for the snoring have him get checked for sleep apnea, my hubby was a horrid snorer and about a year ago he was checked for apnea and had is severely he had breathing interuptions (stops) over 100 times an hour which is seriously dangerous. He sleeps with a cpap machine now and does wonderful, and has better sleep as well, as he's not waking up all the time from not being able to breath.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,755 Posts
Discussion Starter #19
Nah OH doesn't have sleep apnea, he sleeps fine until I wake him up to tell him he is snoring. He has only woke himself up occasionally as his snoring got so loud.
Most of the time he will immediately turn over but other times he moans. He complains in a gruff voice saying "Just when I fall asleep you wake me up saying I am snoring" My reply "Well at least you get to fall alseep, I don't".

Honestly I love him sleeping next door.

Red is a sweet little chap and is the complete opposite to Jake. Jake is extrovert and confident where as Red is introverted and lacks confidence.

OH is not an animal lover, before I got Jake if a dog came near him he would immediatley use his hand or foot to push it away. To be honest if I had of known this when I first met him I would never have started a relationship with him as I believe the way a person treats an animal reflects on how they treat people.

I have two horses and he wants me to sell the youngster as he thinks he is too hyper and dnagerous. (he did land me in hospital putting me on crutches for a few months but it wasan't his fault) anyway he has no idea about animals, how they thin etc and I ignore him when he suggests selling him.
Both my horses are very well mannered, have full respect for me and I can do anything with them.

What gets me is his brother and sister love animals, why did I hitch up with the idiot.

I also found out in his last job which he got sacked from, he told people my horse was his and I also found out no one liked him. (no one spoke to him much when he was in the office and my mate knew someone who worked with him and told a few truths about him, its a small world and he doesn't know what I know) In his new job he has now he thinks he is popular but to be honest I can't see it as he thinks people liked him in his last job.

He also has no friends, if he goes out its to see his mum or his sons.

At least I have some good friends here who support me. I am under a lot of stress with him, I am miserable with him and when he is away or upstairs I never miss him.

I guess I live a life as a single person house sharing lol...

My house is contracted and there isn't a clause to cancel a tenancy. Plus the extra money I get in rent pays the mortgage etc. I don't wanna sell my young horse and I also enjoy being the co-ordinator for a natural horse group that I created a few years back.

There are pro's and cons to staying, the cons based on him and the pro's based on my animals and friends.

A lead a complicated lifestyle don't I

Deme x
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,637 Posts
Wow you are one strong lady just try keep yourself happy :)

Daisy and lotus sound the same as Jake and red!! Daisy loves everyone, lotus loves to hideshe was on vibrate last night at ring craft lol
 
1 - 20 of 42 Posts
Top