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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Okay when I first looked at the yard I keep my horses at now, I was told I'd have the full paddock but was also told that a small section would be fenced off for another horse but only for a short time.

Okay so some fencing posts and tape was erected but no electric was put on. I decided to use my energiser and batteries even though this fencing had nothing to do with me but I did this at my own expense. I replace the batteries again at my expense and no one offers to help out, not the Yard Owner nor the owner of the horse but I say nothing.

Okay 8 months down the line and this horse is still there with the fencing still up but now winter has come and the batteries in the energiser are dead. Usually this is not a problem but with snow down and bored horses my horse has twice gone through the fencing and broke 3 posts and OH broke two.

Now bearing in mind this horse should not be there anymore, the fenicng is not my responsibility and neither is it my responsibility to put electric on it.

Today, I get a call to say a fencing post is broke and my two horses were in the fenced off partition but YO has put my horses in the other side of my paddock. (I have my paddock split into two sections).

I go down as quick as I can and repair fencing, but when I attached my NEW energiser there is no power going through to the fencing tape. Thinking the energiser is faulty I took it home and tested it again and boy it certainly works fine. So this tells me either their fencing tape is crap or it is earthing somewhere. (It is in a mess)

Final part, Yard Owner has said that she is going to put her own energiser on the fencing tape but when.. I have no idea. So as from now there is no electric which means no deterent.

It is now up to her to make sure that the fencing is secure and energised, if I get another call to say a post has been broken what do I tell Yard Owner as I am not prepared to replace any more posts for fencing that has nothing to do with me. I know its my horse going through to the other side but fencing is usually the yard owners responsibility and she does say she is going to use her electric energiser.

Its not so much telling her, its how to word it ...

Cheers

Deme x
 

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Do you have a contract with her? Are you paying to keep your horses boarded there? If so, then she has an obligation to make sure the fencing is secure.

If you aren't paying her to keep your horses, and she's just doing it as a favor, then I'd think you would be responsible for any damage they have done to the fencing.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Cheers Tracey, It is a livery yard and I pay to keep my horses there and pay for any extra services I ask for such as giving them hay on a morning etc. I know all about the legal side of a livery yard and just wanted to know how to word myself if she asks for any more posts as I am not gonna give her any more when it is her responsibilty to maintain the fencing not mine even though in the past I have been.

I mean this horse in the fenced off piece of my paddock is not even meant to still be there and I should have had my entire paddock back but I just keep my mouth shut to avoid any trouble.
 

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I know what you mean Dawn. I don't like confrontations either! At all! But I do think you have to make a stand or she will continue taking advantage of you. Since you are paying her to keep your horses there, it is HER responsibility to make sure the fences are secure!

When she calls again saying your horses got out, maybe just say something like "Oh I'm sorry to hear that! I'm not able to come out there, so I hope you can get them back in their paddock and get that fence fixed quickly so it doesn't happen again!" If you sound concerned and nice about it, what is she going to say?? She would be liable if anything happened to your horses.
 

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I would not even mention the fence, I would approach the issue where she has this horse there that should not be, perhaps you can say " I was wondering when the owners will be moving that horse? just say you are thinking of getting another horse or you want full use of your paddock.

You are in the right here...just remember that.
 

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Dawn, I will be of no help here. :/ Because if it were me, I'd call her, greet her politely, then go on to tell her that she needs to fix the fence so the horses don't keep getting out. And then I'd ask when the horse that is not supposed to be there is going to be moved. But that's just me. I wouldn't be tacky, rude, confrontational, or any of that, but I would just get to the point. Most times that nips any mis-communication from the get go.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
I am not concerned about the horse using part of my paddock as the amount of grazing I still have is ample.

Its when she says a post has been broken.. I know its my horse going through the fence of which then my other boy follows but I also know its her responsibility to maintain that section of fencing.

So back to my question. How do I word it politely and none confrontational that I am not going to replace anymore posts.
 

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We are going to call her Jane for now. :lol:

You place the call.

Jane: Hello
Dawn: Hi Jane, this is Dawn, how are you?
Jane: Doing very well, thank you. How are you?
Dawn: I’m doing great, thanks for asking.
Dawn: I wanted to give you a ring today to find out when you can fix the fences so that the horses don’t keep getting out. I have been fixing them at my expense up to this point, but it’s no longer feasible for me.
Jane: ………………

That will start the convo. out very nicely. Her response will set the rest of the convo.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
That is a good idea to approach her before anything happens and it shows I care about the up keep and condition of the fencing. I couyld perhaps even mention that a post could hurt any of the horses if broken and ran into.

I am up tomorrow and she doesn't work weekends so will see how it goes then.
 

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Sending you best wishes. Please let us know how it goes. :)
 

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We are going to call her Jane for now. :lol:

You place the call.

Jane: Hello
Dawn: Hi Jane, this is Dawn, how are you?
Jane: Doing very well, thank you. How are you?
Dawn: I’m doing great, thanks for asking.
Dawn: I wanted to give you a ring today to find out when you can fix the fences so that the horses don’t keep getting out. I have been fixing them at my expense up to this point, but it’s no longer feasible for me.
Jane: ………………

That will start the convo. out very nicely. Her response will set the rest of the convo.
That's perfect!!! I like YOU calling her instead of the other way around. That way you are in control of the situation, rather than my answer of just waiting for your horses to get out again!! ha! Good answer T! :hello1:
 

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As do I! I cant believe youre worrying about what to say if SHE calls YOU to complain. Aside from the fact that youre paying for services and not getting them, isnt there a danger posed for your horses? I would think they could potentially hurt themselves breaking through the fence all the time. You bet I would be calling her!! I think Ts wording is great, just take the position that you are concerned about the safety of your horses and the other horse, and youd like the fence fixed ASAP before theres anymore damage to her property or any harm done to the horses. I understand that you want to keep things pleasant between you, if not you would be in an even more uncomfortable position. BUT, you are a paying customer, and you have every right to expect her to fix the fencing. I dont think she is necessarily trying to take advantage of you, she may just be a bit complacent and think you dont mind taking care of it so why not let you. Be polite and friendly, but make your expectations clear.
Let us know how it goes!
 

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Dawn, I will be of no help here. :/ Because if it were me, I'd call her, greet her politely, then go on to tell her that she needs to fix the fence so the horses don't keep getting out. And then I'd ask when the horse that is not supposed to be there is going to be moved. But that's just me. I wouldn't be tacky, rude, confrontational, or any of that, but I would just get to the point. Most times that nips any mis-communication from the get go.
^^ I agree, this is a great approach!
 

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Discussion Starter #14
The YO is 62yrs old though fit but she is on her own and if she needs anything heavy doing she calls on her son in law.

To be honest I think she has taken on too much, she has
20 chickens which include two roosters
5 Pigmy x goats
2 huge and I mean huge rabbits
5 cats
2 dogs
1 African grey parrot
3 horses and
her daughters horse
Her horses are stabled at night so she has to muck the stables out every day.

Takes on extra chores for people though she does charge and rightly so. Has to order in hay, straw and shavings.

repair fencing (electric and wood)
see to disposal of muck heap etc

All the usual chorses of running a yard but on her own plus 5 days a week she works part time for 3 hrs each day.

I do my best to help where I can and even OH has offered to help her should she need it.

I never complain about anything and anything she asks of me I do it if I can.

I admire her stamina but I still need to put a stop to her asking me to replace broken posts and yes I agree horses could get hurt especially as some posts snap in half and the bottom piece is often sticking out the ground.
 

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Discussion Starter #15 (Edited)
Well I am absolutely fuming to the point I could not talk to YO otherwise I'd have crippled her literally and I don't care how old she is. when my animals welfare is jeopodised I see red and I don't care who anyone is.

Basically I have lost ALL respect for the stupid moo.

She denied everything that was discussed before we moved our horses in and then seconds later admitted it.

She put my horses in the other side of my paddock with no food or water and expected them to stay there for weeks until her fat ar**ed daughter decided to erect some fencing.

On the phone she spoke to Brian then started getting stroppy so I took over the call and told her straight that I was putting up fencing etc and no one is to touch it ever. She never replied to that as she knows I am right and I told her I was NOT prepared to have my horses in a field with no hay and water.

Brian paid near on £100 for fencing, we have spent all day getting all the fencing sorted and I have told her "That is my fencing, my energiser and you are not to touch any of it or allow any horses into my paddock and you are not getting any more posts off me.

She has also allowed this lassses horse to sh*t in my side of the paddock and eat my hay that was meant for my horses that I paid for that she had stopped my horses from eating.

She tried to get me to give her another 7 posts today but I haven't given her any and she is NOT getting them.She claims it was my horse that destroyed them but I know for a fact her horse runs through fencing and has wrecked quite a bit and she lets her horse roam around the yard and fields free.

Well I have a very powerful charge going thorugh my fencing so if her horse touches the tape, it is gonna get a hell of a shock.

And before anyone starts saying "oh but she's an old woman, well tough, she took on the yard, I never asked her to and if she can't manage it then she shoudl sell up. Like I say I have lost respect for her and when that happens it takes a long time for them to earn it back.

I jsut totally ignored her liek she wasn't there if I ever passed her as in theis cercumstance it was better I did this as if I'd have spoke I would have got extremely angry. No better to walk past her like she does not exist at the moment, and I am also gonna tell her when she starts moanign and whinging about liveries to me that I am not interested. She moans every time I see her.

I can't believe she has treated me and my horses so badly after everything we have done for her. Well I am going to do nothing for her ever again she can do all work herself. I will pay my livery, look after my horses and that is that..

So that is my vent, I have just sat down, I feel ill, dizzy, weak and tired and through anger on the verge of tears.

And please please please at this moment I don't need anyone defending her (especially when they don't know the full situation, what was said or witnessed her terrible attitude) so if your gonna do that don't go adding a reply. The way I am right now it will only fuel my anger.

Thanks to you all for listening to my rant and after a bit I will calm down but my feelings towards YO won't change.

Cheers

Deme
 

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I certainly won't defend her. Old, or not. If she took on the responsibility, then she has to keep her end of the bargain. I am very sorry to hear that she was so uncooperative. I hope you all are able to come to some kind of resolution. One thing you will learn in life, is that you can bend over backwards for most people, and they will always **** on you. :/ They love when you are there for them, but not when the table is turned. Again, I'm very sorry, Dawn.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
Thanks for that, and it is really appreciated, I need comfort right now..
She has totally messed herself up as from now I will do nothing and I mean absolutely nothing to help her, I won't listen to her dribbbling moaning and will just walk away.

In fact the way I feel at this moment I won't even talk to her, instead I will bite my tongue and politely say , "Can't talk right now" and walk off without giving her the chance to reply and try to start a conversation. which is better than what I really want to say.

If she asks for Brian's help for anything I am gonna simply say" No, he can't help he's working" and OH agrees to this.

With the problems we are having (OH and Myself) he has really helped today and today fo rus both has been wasted. We had planned on going to DFS to look at a sofa but we never got there.

Jeez... I need to calm down but I am still sooooooo angry..
 

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((((((((A Great Big Hug))))))))
 

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So sorry Dawn! I wish you could move them to another place! She has a lot of nerve letting her horses poop in your area and letting her horses eat your hay! Crazy! I'm glad that you and Brian got over there and got your horses in a safe and secure area. Seems like you should be able to take your supplies/labor off of your rental charge to use her paddock!

Some people are unreasonable no matter how nice and cooperative you try to be. Sounds like that is the case with her.

We are behind you 100%.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Thanks Tracy

It is episodes like this that make me want to move back to my home land, I was on a yard for 9 years with Kyle and yes there was bitchiness and arguments in winter but in reality everyone got on well together and I had a fantastic Yard Owner.
Since moving down to Northampton I find people selfish, two faced and downright horrible.

The people I find great are those in the group that I run, I dunno if it is because they follow a natural route with their animals and are therefore more understanding or what but they are good people.

I also find comfort in talking on here, I have found in my experience during the short time I have been a member of Chihuahua People that there is never any snide comments, rude foul mouthed threads, attacking or slandering, no one is judgemental, people try to understand the best they can and always give a shoulder to cry on.

I just broke down suddenly about 10 min ago as todays trauma just got too much emotionally for me.

I am just tired and fed up of always trying to do my best by people only to be treated like crap.. I am a true friend, will help anyone to the best I can but once a person treats me with disrespect then that's it. They are no longer a friend and no matter what I will always treat them differently.

So thanks for your lovely messages.

Tracy the cost of the supplies, we are just gonna put it to experience and leave it at that, but silly moo now knows I won't take any more crap from her and that she'd best not allow any horse into my paddock or I will let rip at her.

I wish I could afford to buy my own house with land.. but alas I don't have that kind of spare dosh lying around.

Cheers

Deme x
 
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