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Discussion Starter #1
So I have an issue ugh relationship issues!

Soo I met this guy a year ago lived out of state and we visited each back and forth ..talked about marriage ,kids ,house, all that mushy stuff that i didnt want at first. But after wrapping my head the fact that he wanted it ,i ended it up wanting it more than him in the end ... so long story short didn't work out we cut it off ..

So I went back to the website I met him on ,yes I met him on a dating website *gasp oh the horror* me and my friend joined the site just for fun ,not taking it serious .. chatting wit different guys when I felt like it flirting was fun !! Lol got a few free meals , gifts again just having fun losing they number lol after the first date ..hey single women having fun
Anyway so I met this fireman .. we talked ,give him number out of boredom again .. first 30mins I'm like he's so cocky hang up !!!! But I couldn't put the phone down*

He spent 30mins bragging about how much money he has and what cars he drives ect so I told him point blank "look all that flashy stuff I don't care about ,so you wasten your time " well that whiped him into shape and the real him came out ...

Gurls we ended up talking for 6 hours that night !!*
Then a call came in so we had to stop talking but after the fire he called me back we talked for another 4 hours .. this man told me everything from his dream wife,likes,dislikes,pros and cons about him self,the horrors that happen to him as a child ,and the struggles he over came being one of 11 kids !

He's also in school for marine bio.,Has two pits and raises his twin brothers ..so with all this said your like what's her issue.. seems like a great guy right Wellllll

I'm having an issue with his schedule some times I don't see him for 72 hours then he goes home to sleep ,back up for school not to mention time for his brothers and dogs .. now in the time I don't see him ,I'm free and do call at all hours of the day and night .
.. he's already said he "loves me" I've yet to say it becuz in my mind I'm like its too soon to love someone! It's going on 4weeks come Monday vday ..

Question 1: is it too soon for me to love him ? Or is it just in the moment ? he's everything I want and like hell he's a big dog lover come on* you can't bet that , the kids (dogs) love him

I keep hearing that firemen are know cheaters and I'm trying not to feed into this and poke at his every word wondering if its true .. how could I not ? After hearing this so many times even by a female firewomen who is a friend .

One night we was talking and he said I'm going to admit you have my heart and I'm sprung over you ! He said his stomach goes in knots when he sees/talks to me and said if I allow him too he wants to marry me , so I said to him ill believe it when I see it . So got up and left !!! Called me two later and said I hurt him when I said that becuz he really loves me and wants a life with me .. that he's willing to wait till I'm ready and break down the walls I have and earn my heart (but he already has it dang it but how ??)

buttttt he still has his profile up that I met him on ,so I said to him ..do you still have it up ..he said yea but I don't use it ,I just delete the messages that come thrw Soo I'm like hmm .. he said I don't need it anymore becuz I have you so I said then um delete it ... he said why do you have an issues wit me having it up ?* I didn't press the issue anymore ,didn't even answer


Soo what yall think ? Lay it on me lol

Questions#2: should I believe all this he's telling me becuz I mean I heard allllll this before ,I'm not trying to repeat the last year again

Question#3: do internet relationships work ??

Questions#4:how do you ladies deal wit your bf or gf being away for so long ? Becuz we don't live together this week ,I didn't see him at all becuz of work .. becuz of the news lol* I know he's working I've seen him on the news like 4x already and he said me pics of the fires ect


Please don't hold back lol I need advice bad
 

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Question 1: is it too soon for me to love him ? Or is it just in the moment ? he's everything I want and like hell he's a big dog lover come on* you can't bet that , the kids (dogs) love him

Love can happen at any time! I feel that if you can get along after 2 years & you love him, he is possibly your sole mate. The problem with falling in love this soon is that you're not always sure if it's really Love or Lust that's why I like to enjoy the feelings your experiencing for about 2 years before you consider marriage.

Questions#2: should I believe all this he's telling me becuz I mean I heard allllll this before ,I'm not trying to repeat the last year again

Since you went into this dating things as a joke to have fun, why can't you go with your feelings and enjoy being with him, talking to him, go where ever this takes you. The truth about what ever he's telling you will eventually come to light. I don't believe in getting too serious so quickly, because if it's meant to be, it will happen in it's own special way.

Question#3: do internet relationships work ??
Internet relationships can be scary, but there is always a chance that some meet that special one. I've always been told that when you're not really looking, you will find that special person! I know this is true! It happened to me! The trick is not to go into this with your whole heart! Enjoy every moment, have fun, remember that a great relationship HAS to start with a Great FRIENDSHIP First!!! Don't reveal too much as this leaves some mystery and makes this experience fun & exciting.

Questions#4:how do you ladies deal wit your bf or gf being away for so long ? Becuz we don't live together this week ,I didn't see him at all becuz of work .. becuz of the news lol* I know he's working I've seen him on the news like 4x already and he said me pics of the fires ect
Being apart can make a relationship even stronger. I know it's difficult, but, if you have a life, & I know you do, stay busy doing the things you were doing before you met him. Try not to wrap your life around him, because I find that when a woman is confident and has a life, men seem more attracted to these woman rather than a woman who waits on a man hand & foot.

I'm a little concerned about him keeping his profile up on the website if he's so into you. What I would do is have my profile up as well & continue to date others. If he questions it, I would tell him I'm not wanting nothing serious and to have fun. (I know you would like a serious relationship). But this will bring out his true feelings as to whether or not he's o.k. with you dating others. "What's good for the Goose is good for the Gander" so to speak. In other words, this is where I would bring up, why are you concerned--you're profile is still up on the dating site; & I guarantee he'll all of a sudden say he's taking it down. You don't want to make him do anything he doesn't want to do, but he can't have it both ways. He needs to realize when you are serious about something, then he should be to.

I hope this helps & isn't confusing. How old are you? Is he living with you?
 

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Discussion Starter #3
No no I understood everything you said and it all made since !

I'm 28 and I don't live with him .... I have been keeping busy and we just text and talk all day .
About the profile I was going to say something today about and tell him I was planning to make another one becuz I deleted mine ... so ill see what he says about that lol

Yea sure right ill just enjoy the ride after all I wasn't looking for anything so if something happens that will be great
 

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That's the best thing to do! ENjoy & if it turns out to be marriage down the road then maybe it's meant to be. I wouldn't tell him I was putting my profile back up, & if he sees it, I wouldn't lie about it. I would just say, I like meeting people & having fun, nothing serious! See how he responds?! He just might say he's taking his profile down in order to have you take yours down, but I'd let him ask me to take mine down once he takes his down if that's what he wants.
Relationships with men are kinda like dealing with a child; you have to use REVERSE-PHYSCOLOGY quite a bit! Haha It works in order to find out how serious they are about you & ONLY YOU! It also lets them know that there's a chance they could loose you to someone else, so if they are truly IN-LOVE with you & want this to work--they have to work at it.

I speak from experience! I never believed in marriage and had several relationships that I was not serious about. I finally broke off my last bad relationship of 5 years and made up my mind to have fun and date--NO MORE RELATIONSHIPs! Play the field! PARTY! ENJOY LIFE!! And that's just what I did and had the best years of my life. Went to this party where I met this annoying guy who was totally infatuated with me, but yet was so gentlemanly. Paid for my meals when all us friends would go out to eat. Always wanted to be with me, always wanted to do things for me. I enjoyed it but kept trying to push him away thinking he was a player. Then I realized he wasn't interested in anyone, but me. Started spending more time together getting to know each other. After 2 years, moved in with him. After 5 years, got married, had twin girls & we're still together going on a 6th year anniversary this May. There's a lot of give and take in a relationship. He is my sole mate! They say you can tell how a man will treat you by the way he treats his mother--SO TRUE!!! He did everything for his mother & loved her dearly. He treats me the same way. I can feel his love and see his love for me! I try, sometimes not enough to show my love for him, but I know he knows I love him.

I hope this relationship is the one you're looking for and you find lots of joy and develop lots of great memories like I did! Please keep up informed & I wish you all the best. Take it slow and just enjoy what comes your way!!!!!!!
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Ooh wow congrads to you !!! He's pretty much the same way I mean he buys everything for me , always taking me and my friend out to dinner or breakfast ..from what I see and hear he treats his mom pretty good , sends her flowers every two weeks and help her raise the twin brothers so eh I hope its not all a game lol .. but ill try that and see what happens

Thanks again
 

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He sounds like a good guy, but since you have known him a very short time just be careful. I too would be bothered with his pro. still up. I've never been on a dating site (i've been married since '92 they werent around then lol) but can you think of a reason it would still be up? I dont know how those things work but if you have to pay to get it put up maybe he is just leaving it up until he is sure things are gonna work with you. IDK!
Usually your gut instincts are right so...! As far as the love thing, I feel personally that telling someone you love them after a month seems a bit premature. You still dont' REALLY KNOW eachother so i'd be careful , no one ever wants to get hurt. Just play it very safe and be patient. Best of luck to you. :)
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Well he says he wants to save our chats that we did on the site but I'm like for what ?! No the dogs I went on is free
 

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I met my hubby online & think it's a great way to find someone.

Love doesn't have a time table, I don't think. I think everyone has offered great advice so I am going to let the rest alone but just remember to never sell yourself short :)
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Idk lol me to and that's why I'm just asking for advise !
Never really took this love thing seriously ,just dating so well see
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Oh k so break threw ???

Met his mother today , pretty nice lady ... he let me delete the profile , I told him well I was bored so I'm bout to make another profile and he was like what u need that for I said oh just looking for friends to hang out with ... keep my options open and he said no we don't need the profiles anymore ^_^

Sooo thanks for the advise :)!!!
 

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Oh k so break threw ???

Met his mother today , pretty nice lady ... he let me delete the profile , I told him well I was bored so I'm bout to make another profile and he was like what u need that for I said oh just looking for friends to hang out with ... keep my options open and he said no we don't need the profiles anymore ^_^

Sooo thanks for the advise :)!!!
Well that's good :) You will have to keep us posted on the progress of this new relationship you know!??!! ;) lol
WE are involved now. :laughing8:
 

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That's funny! Good for you! I told you Reverse-Physcology works. Men are sooooo predictable! It sounds like we're being so sneaky, but sometimes this is what we have to do to find out where their heart & true feelings lie. He really sounds like a great guy & I wish you lots of luck & happiness. Can't wait to hear more!!
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Lol I can't wait either ! Soo far I guess its true if your dogs like him , he's a good catch ;)
This is the first guy my dogs have liked .. when he comes over they leave me and lay wit him like wtf lol one day I checked him for hidden treats :))

I'll keep yall posted of anything good happens :)
 

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Lots of great advice. My best advice is "make haste slowly" when it comes to relationships and marriage. Marriage lasts a loooooong time and can get very tough, even if it's good. Enjoy this guy, be honest and see how it goes. Give it time and the real person will emerge. Pay attention - don't ignore red flags. I speak from experience here, knew there were some red flags, but "loved" him and married him, and later admitted it was really wrong and bad and divorced him. If you can't stand something he does, it will only get much worse after marriage. Have a good time getting to know him better. If he's right for you and you're right for him, it will work out. Good luck.

Jeanette
 

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Discussion Starter #19
lol .. idk really

umm i realized i really like him so whatever happens will happen .. umm i spoke to him about setting a day for just me and him .. and he's done it so monday is our day .. its the day i'm off and after he gets out of school we hang out .. and on weds i go hang out with him at the firehouse for a little while .. soo we are working on it .. and like someone said "Love" has no time limit so i just expect the fact that he's in love and dont' trip over it anymore.. now am i in love .. idk .. not sure if i realllllly like him or what so i'm still working on MY feelings towards him

soo i'll update you guys again if anything else happens
 

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Discussion Starter #20
well figure i'll give ya'll an update ...

Things are going so great , it's crazy I tried at on point to back away because i thought i was getting too into him too fast but eh lol he came after me ...hee hee
I find my self thinking about his goofy "butt" when i'm at work lol

Umm he stopped by my job and bought me a rose, lets just say i had to excuse my self to the bathroom after he left lol because i couldn't stop smiling and didn't want them to be like why she cheese'n like a school girl ... everyone that met him liked him and said he's very nice and respectable ( overly lol i think) .. everything is "yes mama" "thank you sir"

he's going threw some issues with his family now his aunt is dieing of cancer, she has two weeks .. so i'm dealing with that as well try'n to give him his space but also being there ,it's hard ..

Then in june he's leaving for two weeks :( for puerto rico .. to see his dad and other family BLAH lol so i'll be with out him sigh :) i'll be alright lol
 
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