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:sad11: Don't get me wrong, I pretty much like EVERYONE but I just can't stop feeling anxious...As some of you might know, my future father in law is visiting and I'm trying not to pull my hair out right in front of him :x ... He's really nice really, just like the wife (she visited last year) thankfully they don't come often because they live in Hong Kong..don't get me wrong they are really nice people but I'm not Chinese, nor skinny so somehow I feel the pressure I've never felt... :D don't worry, I have no self-esteem issues...my problem is that i wish they liked me more..you can't deny, for the ones who have them that when an IL comes and the first thing to do is rate how clean is your house and tells you the next day that "we are gonna have a cleaning day and rearrange the furniture" instead of "let's go out for ice cream" that doesn't look good, my house was clean too :shock: ...and then there is the language barrier...they speak broken english..and I don't speak Chinese..sooo, that's for some akward silent moments.... :D aaaah, thanks, sorry I'm just venting and I haven't been on much...but I'm feeling pressure like I've never felt before..and I find it surprising that is throwing me out of balance...I usually have everything under control..lol :D

P.S. I hope they never get a hold of this website...lol :D
 

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Trust me Vala I know just how you feel! At least your in laws are nice, mine are horrid. My MIL never gave me a chance because I have tattoos and piercings and I am white, they are mexican, Mexican American but still.

You'll get through this, just try to stay positive and go with it. If he senses any apprehensiveness from you, this stay could turn into something totally different.

I too hope my in laws never find this site!
 

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awww imagine if they did - oh i could see the havoc now! (*cackles evily, clasping hands*) joke! awww i could imagine - maybe if you had a good old chinwag it would make your relationship stronger with in laws
 

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Isn't it Chinese custom that furniture should be arranged a certain way to maximize the flow of positive energy - can't remember what it is called. Maybe the yin and yang?

Anyway, my point was maybe that's why he wants to rearrange your house... :lol: Well, anything is possible....lol .... just trying to lighten your mood.

I'm sure it is stressful. Not only do you want to impress your future in-law, but you also have a language barrier. Just relax, do your best, and be yourself.
 

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as long as he doesn't try too rearange your stairs... MArk was designing a home for a chinese couple and the firts thing they told him is that the stairs and not point to the outside door for any reason... you know how hard it is to make a big house with 2 sets of stairs and have neither one of them point to a outside door? It was very hard....

I hope your fil has a nice visit and leaves soon.... Just keep taking a break from the room even if you have to go into the bathroom and take 10 deep breaths and then come back out...


Good luck and God bless
 

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Vala, plse relax and don't get yourself worked up unnecessarily! :lol: I am Chinese and I'm a MIL twice over, 3 times coming up in Jan tho' admittedly I speak both Chinese and English and am New Zealand born. In-laws are in-laws and if they're going to be the nice ones or yukky ones, they will be regardless. Speaking from experience, you probably have the advantage that, by not being Chinese, they will "make allowances" for you. My DIL's parents came out to NZ from China and the first thing her sis said to her after she met me was "You're so lucky your BF's mum is so modern thinking and westernised." As far as the language barrier is concerned, it's up to your BF to smooth things over for you and be aware he should "move in on the conversation" if nec. You'd be surprised how much they can understand even if they can't speak much English. My late MIL was an avid fan of "Coronation Street" and "Young & the Restless" and used to prattle on about the comings & goings on them. And she spoke very little English. My kids couldn't speak Chinese and once, years ago, a daughter said "Oh Grandma rang while you were out". Without thinking I said "What did she want" and she gave me a surprised look and replied "How the heck would I know?". :D

As far as Feng Shui is concerned, I don't get too hung up on it. I have stairs directly facing our front door & hang a nice wind chime thing at the bottom of the stairs (which is meant to make it OK). Important thing is not to have the foot of the bed directly in front of b/room door. That is the coffin position. A friend of mine (English) rang me once laughing and related to me that her son thought he'd surprise his wife by rearranging the b/room for her in her absence as she had said it was something she wanted to do sometime. He was not at all impressed, after all his effort, when his beloved's shocked reaction was "Oh no this won't do at all, our bed is in the coffee position, May-lin (that's me) said that is not good Feng Shui". Another one to be aware of is it's considered bad Feng Shui to have a mirror or TV screen directly facing the bed, tho' my son & dil have mirrors on their wardrobe doors at foot of their bed and they're not bothered by it.
If you feel you're having an awkward moment just smile and say nothing. Have fun. :lol:
 

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i know how you feel vala...i was sooooo nervous when i came to vegas because i had never met any of my hubby's family before. but, i got lucky because we all get along great (well, with the exception of a few tiff's now and then, but what family doesn't fight?) i think they all liked me because i was only 17 when i came out here and got married. i really think they gave me a huge break and i'm grateful for it. i don't have to worry about my MIL "popping in" and complaining about how clean my place is, because she knows if it;s a little messy...its her son that made the mess :lol:
 

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Discussion Starter #15
:D Thanks everyone...and yeah, they already make lots of "allowances" for me...my bf is the one that gets yelled at because he didn't teach me properly..as for the Feng sui thing...mmm..maybe...they even hired feng sui people in Hong kong to remodel their house...according to one of them because of my bf zodiac sign he cannot go fishing or flying this year...that's why his dad is visiting instead, so they take that stuff seriously.. :wink: They are nice people..but because we are students and my bf still gets allowance ($$) which is way more money than what I make..I feel like I'm being audited! :shock: Awful feeling..I'm soooo getting a better job once he leaves!!!! :D
 

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Think of it this way....they live in Hong Kong....which is a great place to visit but very expensive....you will be able to visit them and stay for free and enjoy a great country. It is one of my fav places to visit.......wonderful shopping !

Although you feel very scrutinized, it may just be a difference in cultures...hopefully your BF can make things go more smoothly with his dad...when the parents get to know you and see how much you and their son are made for each other, they may become less demanding.

Stinky and Smelly should help break down the tension !
 

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Discussion Starter #20
nabi said:
Stinky and Smelly should help break down the tension !
:( You would think seeing how cute they are...but they don't really agree on Smelly..he's 100% naughtier than Stinky and so far he got a hold of a very important letter and chewed it all up..so that looked REALLY bad...and my FIL thinks is dirty to sleep with them so all this week I've also been stressed about Smelly's behaviour (He doesn't care much what Stinky does because we trained Stinky to do whatever you tell him) and how everytime we go out I need to cage him or restrict them both...it just breaks my heart..but thank goodness is saturday..even if is only 12:22am right now! :D
 
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