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Discussion Starter #1
Hi Everyone,

I was hoping to get some opions from you all. As some of you know I had to make the decision to put my little girl, Becky, to sleep last Tuesday. Original thread here http://www.chihuahua-people.com/chi-chat/54986-becky-has-passed-away.html if you want to read about it.

I had known for a couple of months, at least, before hand that I was going to lose her, so I was preparing myself and I decided that I would get another pup after she had passed away. I wanted a little boy this time so that it wouldn't feel like I was replacing her so much.

Over those months I had done a little looking around and had decided on a black long hair little boy, who I would have been able to get in about 4 weeks. I thought that would give me time to grieve for Becky and still have something to look forward to. Well, the breeder decided to keep him for herself to breed with, so it was back to square one, but that was ok.

I now have the opportunity to get a white long hair little boy and I have told the breeder I will take him but he is ready to come to me this week.

My question is do you think it is too soon? I was really excited last night thinking about it but this morning I am a bit depressed because I feel like I am betraying Becky. What has been your experience with this? Do you get over the feelings of betrayal?

Thanks
 

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I think that if you have that much love in your heart to give to a dog then it would be awesome for you to be able to continue to give it! I personally think that, in situations like this, the dog who has passed away would be happier knowing that you are happy and less lonely. No matter what breed, color, gender, etc., no dog can ever replace the one that you lost...even if the new dog were a dead ringer for her. I'm sure Becky was an amazing dog with a unique and special personality...and just like snowflakes you'll never have one the same. When you fall in love with this new pup, you'll love him the same but for different reasons and in a totally different way.

I think you have the love (it is obvious :) ) and that therefore you should share it. That's not betayal at all. :)
 

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I lost my basset hound, Gandalf, last month and that was the main reason I got Aidyn. I'm still grieving but Aidyn helps me so much. Sometimes it does feel like a betrayal to Gandy but I know that he would want me happy, I'm sure your little one would want that too. Aidyn doesn't replace what I have lost but adds to my life with his own personality and love. Companionship goes along way to help the pain, being able to snuggle with a dog when I feel sad or depressed about Gandy eases the difficulty of seeing a picture or something that reminds me of him.

Ultimately of course it's up to you whether you think it is to soon. In the long run though I think it's helpful to add another addition when you've lost one. You'll never forget the other but life will seem a little easier to get through with a new sweet pup.
 

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Each person is different and grieves in their own time. When my two old dogs died, just 3 weeks apart, I couldn't even think of adding another dog for years. It was over 3 years before I felt ready to give my heart to another dog. And then along came Brody and I have never regretted it for a second. You have to do what is right for you. Some people may be ready in a week, some a month, some take years. There is no right or wrong - it's just when the timing is right for you.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Thanks ChiMama2Hs and SweetSymphony. I am sure also that Becky would like me to be happy. Actually I am a big believer in signs, and this might sound nuts but I think I have had a couple of signs from her in the last couple of days.

When I first started looking at pups I kind of skimmed over the ad for this little fellow, not sure why, anyway when I was having another look on Thursday it was like he jumped off the page at me and I knew he was the one. Maybe Becky was guiding me to him, I don't know. It does sound a bit crazy:)

The other sign wasn't to do with the pup. I have this digital photoframe and it rotates hundreds of pictures of which a lot are of Becky. Last night I was feeling a bit lonely and I was talking to her (oh boy I do sound a bit nuts don't I?) telling her how much I miss her and wished was here with me and then I noticed that the frame kept showing her pictures one after the other. I thought to myself, that's weird, and as I kept watching it was showing her pictures. This went on for about 30 minutes or so and then it went back to showing all the other pictures. Maybe it was her or maybe it was just a malfunction in the frame. I like to think it was her comforting me.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Thanks cherper and Brodysmom. I helps to hear other peoples experiences on this. I guess it really does come down to a gut feeling. And I really think that I am ready.

It's not like Becky died suddenly and I wasn't expecting it. In that case I know I would have had to wait longer. I knew at least two to three months before hand that there was nothing that they could do for her and I was going to lose her so I was mentally preparing for her leaving, I wasn't really prepared emotionally but I don't think you can prepare emotionally for something like that. And I also knew that I was going to get another pup, so I was preparing for that also.

So, yeah, I think I am ready. I guess I just needed a bit of reassurance that I am not betraying my beautiful girl.
 

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I think sometimes having another new little one helps your heart to heal. Each person is different in how long it takes before they are ready for a new pup. Personally I like to have a new one pretty soon afterwards, as it just helps having another one to give my love too. It is hard to lose our babies, I lost my 13 year old standard poodle Cassie a month ago. It broke my heart. But already having dogs helped. My dad adopted a yorkie 3 days later who 'fell' into his lap, and just adores little Daisy. She's his little shadow and she goes everywhere with him, as Cassie did, he said Daisy has helped fill the void that Cassie left as none of his other dogs are like that. Cassie lived with my dad but was originally 'my' dog, I saw her almost every day still.
 

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that is a question only you can answer..... but there is a hole in your heart that needs filling....... and I betcha Becky would understand..... and who is to say she didn't send this little boy to you..... cause she knows you need someone to love and hug........
 

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I agree with the others. Only you will know when it's time. It could be tomorrow or ten years from now. If you feel it will help, I see no problem. I love animals; pretty much all animals and adding one never replaced ones I lost. They were all unique. So, personally I would look. If it makes you happy, that is a good thing.
 

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I posted this in your other thread Jen> I know what you are going through because when I lost my last chi who was my constant companion. The emptiness was overwhelming just like you are feeling right now. I didn't sleep for 2 days prior because I could sense the change in my baby and like you, knew the time was near, but it didn't make things any easier. Some times getting another dog right away is what it takes for some people to recover from such a painful loss. It doesn't make all the hurt go away but it makes it more bareable and it brings comfort back to you and your home. I got my boy Jasper the very next night after my loss. Neither my husband or I could handle the grief and emptiness. It was a decision I will never regret. Jasper doesn't replace my Munchkin in my heart and memories, he just has his own place in my heart and he has made a lot of great new memories. I don't know what you will decide but God Bless and good luck.>>>> As long as you have the love and desire in your heart then you can love another dog>>>there is no betrayal of Becky.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Thank you cprcheetah, jan896, tricializ and lynx8456. It helps to hear what others have done in this situation.

lynx8456 I love the name Jasper.:) I actually have that on my short list of names.

I am going to go ahead and get the little boy. I feel much better about this decision now.

Thanks everyone.
 

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I think you should do what you feel is right. I got Dixie Belle, 5 days after my beloved diluted Tuxedo cat died. & I've since added a little Russian Blue kitten. I see my Bubba a lot in what Dixie Belle & Sookie does. & I talk to him a lot too, it's so hard, it's been a month & two days, but having these new babies really is helping my heart heal. I hope it does for you too if you decide to go that route.
 

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You will always grieve for Becky, but in a good way knowing that you gave her the best life you possibly could. You'll find with a new pup, whether a boy or a girl, they all have they're own personalities & they will fill a big hole in your heart. The new chi will help making the grieving process less painful & at the same time you'll be giving a new chi a wonderful loving home. God has a reason for everything & maybe he wants you to have this boy chi baby right now. Can't wait to see pics & I'm very sorry for your loss.
 

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Thanks Dixie Belle's Mama and woodard2009. I have decided to go ahead and get the little boy. I feel in my heart that it is the right thing to do and I think that Becky would approve.
 

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Yes i agree with the others,your home feels empty and quiet when there's no little baby to greet you,and a new puppy will HELP you.
 

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I think its a good decision to get that little boy. I know many people say you shouldnt get a new puppy straight away and you need to give yourself some time to get over a dogs death. But I think that a new puppy is going to help you to get out of depression time. You are defo not replacing Becky, and I am sure she knows that. Good luck of getting this little boy and don't forget to post some pics of him ;)
 
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