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In my opinion, each child reacts to different types of discipline (i.e. spanking, timeouts, taking a favorite toy away, etc). My daughter will be 3 next month. I'd say 90% of the time, she gets a time-out. We have a "special" corner in the living room with her chair there. She has 3-5 minute time outs and that seems to work. If she's done something that could seriously harm her, she will get a spanking on the butt followed by a time out, only because she could really injure herself doing what she did (for example, she's not allowed up the stairs w/out holding someones hand). We have a baby gate on the stairs, but sometimes if I'm going up and down I leave it open. On occassion, she has gone up by herself, so she got a spanking AND a time-out.

In my opinion, just from what I've seen with my daughter (again, each child is different), she comprehended a time-out much more then a spanking when she was 2. Kids HATE to be confined to a certain area for any period of time. Now, maybe as she gets older, time-outs may not work as well, and we'll have to resort to something else like taking something away that she really enjoys. I bet if you asked 100 different child psychiatrists about spanking, you'd get a variety of opinions. I've read that spanking at a young age can promote hitting and violence, but I think that's a pretty stereotypical answer because each child is different.

Just do what you feel is right and don't be afraid to try other forms of discipline. I seriously doubt you are a bad mother if you spank, as long as it's controlled and you're not doing it out of anger.
 

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This is a very controversial topic. :wink: I choose not to spank my daughter. I feel that when you spank your child, yes they end up listening to you but out of fear and not out of respect.

If you don't feel comfortable spanking your son, don't spank him just because that is how his father would handle it. You are his mother and it is up to you how to discipline him, when he is in your home.

You are NOT a bad mommy if you choose to spank him. I think most of us were raised on spankings (I know I was) and is a big reason I choose not to spank. I remember the fear I had of my mother and how reluctant I was to come forward if I knew I did something 'bad'. I want my daughter to feel that she can come to me no matter what and not be scared.
 

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isnt that fear what may make you think not to do something again for "fear" of the punishment though.................

I was spanked and I thought twice about doing something... :?
It is a touchy subject though
 

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Kemo's mamma said:
I was spanked and I thought twice about doing something... :?
Good point Vic. :wink:

It's so hard raising a child and trying to be a good parent because we aren't told the 'right way'. I guess I'm just trying to earn her respect and give her respect now so that our relationship is strong for the future, for her 'teenage' years that I dread. :lol:

Did you spank your daughter?
 

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imkari said:
Kemo's mamma said:
I was spanked and I thought twice about doing something... :?
Good point Vic. :wink:

It's so hard raising a child and trying to be a good parent because we aren't told the 'right way'. I guess I'm just trying to earn her respect and give her respect now so that our relationship is strong for the future, for her 'teenage' years that I dread. :lol:

Did you spank your daughter?
I did only when I could not take it anymore....I am a screamer (still am) that is my thing. I raised my daughter by myself for 9 years we are very close. Well actually I still raise her myself as hubby does not get involved......anyway we are tight and I am thankful for that but we are too much like friends at times and that has proven to be a problem. :roll:

and you should dread the teenage years they are HE** :twisted:
 

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I HOPE we have a bond like that. That's what I want, for us to be close. She's only 4 years old and I am already terrified of her teenage years. I always say I'm going to chain her up in her room when she hits 13 but that sure sounds like child abuse doesn't it? :lol:
 

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I agree with noahFL. There are certain times it is ok to spank. My daughter is 2 and will be 3 in november also. The only time she will get a lil spank on the hand or butt is when she REALLY does something wrong. Timeouts is what I use mostly. I know what you mean about feeling bad. I feel terrible when I have to do it. But there are just times you need to get the point across. Usually what will work is if i say "do you want a spanking?" and she will say no and listen to me. It is a tough subject. And I do feel bad that she is listening out of fear, but at least she is listening. And when she gets older and can understand better, then maybe spanking wont be necessary. Who knows. It is hard being a parent. Our decisions are never easy.
 

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I agree that there are times when spanking is appropriate. I think in my post I made it sound as though I have never spanked Alex, I have. When she was younger in the touch everything phase, I had spanked her bottom a few times. Only when it was important that she NOT touch whatever it was. Also her dad has spanked her when she has ran away from us and that is not acceptable, you know, on streets, in extremely crowded areas. So when she has put herself in danger and we needed to let her know that it wasn't o.k. and she didn't listen to words, she has been spanked.

Since she has been older and can understand us clearly, she hasn't been spanked.
 

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I think its up to the parents. But I was spanked as a child, everytime I did something bad I had to go get the stick and get whipped on my bottom. Even though it hurt and I thought I hated my mom at the time, she and I are best friends now. I'm 23 now and she knows every single part of my life (I mean Everything). I don't hold any anomosity towards her at all, I know I was being bad and needed to be punished. As far as raising my child when I have one, I'm going to try to resort to talking. But if he/she acts up and talks back to me I might slap their hands.
 

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I am one of 6 children and we were al spanked as kids, mostly for doing something that we were told specifically not to do.
I think that every child does react differently to different punishments.
I have 2 boys and I used to tap them on the tush when they were little, only if they were really naughty and deliberately doing something they knew was wrong. My eldest son would be very upset if I even raised my voice, whereas my youngest son would be very stubborn and only a smack would pull him into line.
The teenage years are upon me now...its a whole new ball game...aaagghh!! :D
 

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oooh touchy subject

They actually have "No smacking Laws" all over the UK - my personal opinion on the subject from looking after 2 young cousins and working in playgroups and playschemes is that the minute you have to smack a child is when youve "lost" I believe you should speak to them and explain what they have done wrong and use time outs or a box where you take a fave toy away and put it in the box if they do something wrong - I think Spanking should be a last resort and not an initial reaction - I for one wont be spanking my children - but I was smacked as a child if I did something wrong and it hasnt effected me in any way :wave:
 

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ozzysmom said:
oooh touchy subject

They actually have "No smacking Laws" all over the UK - my personal opinion on the subject from looking after 2 young cousins and working in playgroups and playschemes is that the minute you have to smack a child is when youve "lost" I believe you should speak to them and explain what they have done wrong and use time outs or a box where you take a fave toy away and put it in the box if they do something wrong - I think Spanking should be a last resort and not an initial reaction - I for one wont be spanking my children - but I was smacked as a child if I did something wrong and it hasnt effected me in any way :wave:
I know on the supernanny show they do exactly what clare has suggested and it works - I'm not really smacked if I am naughty - my mom just has a "firm" word with me lol - but I'm not that naughty :wink: :lol: :wink:
 

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:shock: I know that when I was growing up I got away with alot, but when I was being really bad my grandparents (who raised me) made me go out and pick my own switches to get spanked with and boy did I know I was in trouble then. And I also know that in my generation because spanking was the way of punishment kids are not the way they are now a days. Crime and gangs, teen pregnancy, drugs where not like they where now a days. Now a days if you spank your children you can go to jail if your child calls the police :? back then you would even think to do that for fear of being spanked :lol: :lol: I think now a days SOME kids are taking advantage of the fact of leaner punishments and thats why there is so much chaos in the world with our kids. I am a very strict mother I use alot of time out, sending to your room, and some spanking if nothing else works. My daughters are only 3 and 16 months. I do believe that consistency is the key to ANY punishment. :wink:
 

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My mother was beat with a leather strap (imagine the welts).....yeah things have changed today for sure!
 

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i'm a yeller. i hate that i am. i have been working on it. i've popped my daughter on the tush when she gets really out of hand. but mostly i use threats. like when a bad word comes out of her mouth or she is fresh to me with her words i get the hot suace form the fridge and show it to her, she then has to realize and tell me what she said wrong and appologize for it. i have never put it in her mouth like i tell her i am going to and she has never tasted it, she just fears this stuff i guess from the name and how it smells?? not sure. she never repeats the bad words again (it's just a new one everytime :shock: ) and as far as the being fresh, it's happening very rarely now, when her mouth starts i give her a look then look at the fridge and now she just shuts up. i don't do it with the very first time she says a certain word, then i just tell her hey we dont' say that word, that's a bad word. but the second time the threat comes out cause then she knows the word is bad..... i will also ask her do you want a spanking? and she'll usually stop whatever it is she is doing.
i'm just waiting for that day she answers yes to that question :p then i'll know she is as sarcastic as i am. ha!
 

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In her 12 years my daughter has tested me more than once... I have tried everything under the sun and then more... She was 14 months when I first put her in the corner... She was so made that she sat there and put her head on the floor and cried her heart out... (gee she was only there for 2 minutes)

By the time she was 4 we had to change punishments several times because they would stop working on her....

TIme outs would work for a while then it would stop working... I had to think fast for the first 6 years of her live as far as punishments go..

I couldn't spank her because she was liking it too much.. inn fat she used to walk up to me or mark and as us to spank her.... I am not sure how she got started doing that but there went the spanking option...

I have never sent her to her room because whe I was sent to my room as a kid all I did was play and that is no punishment...

I had a time out chair for a whie with her... but then she started getting in trouble so she could sit in her chair... she thought it was a cool chair..

she was in the first grade and she really made us mad so we started taking away toys.. the funny part of it is we had paper grocery bag and told her to go into her room and fill the bag... eash time she got into trouble... after so long she had all her stuff except her clothes and bed out of her room.. well, she told us "Now I don't have to clean my room.. there's nothing in it" so that only happened that one time... hehehhe

now she is 12 and she still pushes buttons.. but you know what I started to do is make her work.... she doesn't have set chores.. she just does things for us when we ask her to do them.. but when she is bad(which isn't often) she will get more chores aded to the couple she does evryday.... and she hates to work.. so that has worked for us...

She still pushes buttons... mostly when we speak to her and she doesnt' answer is when I get mad at her.. or she gets snotty with me.. (she does this alot) well, we are working on this one... it seems like she goes in fazes.

If I ask her to do something 1 time I have a nice voice. if I have to ask her a 2nd time I get louder and the 3rd time I am screaming at her... it gets a reaction... She is always asking me to stop screaming at her... well, I tell her to stop making me scream. She knows why I scream at her.. I alwasy tell her if I have to say it threetimes I scream it the 3rd time... she hates this... it is like she goes through times where she is really good and goes through the days without making anybody scream at her. then there is times that she will make me scream all day long....

she is really a good kid.. A major part of our problem is she is just like me and we but heads all the time... see, she was born the day after I was and we are so alike that MArk used to cal us carbon and copy....
 
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