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I finally got the courage today to leave my boyfriend. I moved out today and Lincoln did not do well. While we were trying to move the bags he was frantic he ran out the door twice and slipped his collar something he has never done before.

I think he knew something was changing.

I'm scared to leave him i never thought I would be single but I am. I Kelsey am single. That's scary to type. Bijoux is okay, were at my grandmothers but she will have changes in her life one being that she is no longer on raw : ( My grandmother is very much against it and since she is taking us in I've decided to get a high quality food most likely ZP until we move out on our own which won't be for at least a year because I have to graduate.

Everything in my life is about to change... I left him because i wasn't equal in his life. He wasn't abusive but I didn't want to always have to ask him to do things any longer.

This is the beginning of something very different for both Bijoux and I.
 

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I been down the road you are taking...albeit MANY yrs ago... but I can remember how scared I was......... but you know, after a few weeks I never felt better in my life! and the sun DID rise every morning :)
take one day at a time and enjoy .... *HUGS*
 

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Do you have both dogs with you or just Bijoux?
Remember that single and happy is FAR better than married/committed and miserable.
I know that you do not want to hear this but you are young and have time to make good choices for yourself. While you can, focus on yourself.
You now have the awesome privilege of getting to do that!
 

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Good on you for making a move toward a better life. :) Being in a relationship that isn't equal is never right, you deserve so much more for yourself. I'm glad you gathered up the courage to do it. :) xx
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I had to leave Lincoln behind and frankly I'm worried about him. I know he will never be abused but with me being gone lincoln will be alone for 14-15 hours a day. Which is so sad. He deserves better : (
 

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Good for you for being strong! I know the changes will be hard but I am sure you will be happier in the end :)
 

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Aw Kelsey I am so sorry. =( Only sorry that you're hurting... but PROUD that you did the right thing. I remember a thread you posted over the summer about it; assuming it's the same guy/situation. You deserve a lot of credit and you're just going to become a stronger person because of it.
If you ever want to talk or (unspayed female dog;)) about anything; I'm on FB too. Don't want to publicize the link but I can pm you it if you'd like.
Best wishes to you and Bijoux xxxx If you ever travel way down south to the States you and Bijoux can stay with us if need be lol!!
 

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I'm really sorry, but I'm sure you made the best choice. Is there any way you can take Lincoln with you? He looks so sweet, and his future sounds so sad.
 

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Congrats I did the same 5 months ago and had to leave behind prada and beau :( I know exactly how you are feeling about being worried about the care well we live in the same city so email me any time I did try emailing you once but i gues it didn't go thru! You're going to feel so much better! I already met someone amazing even though I wasn't looking nor had any intentions of dating for a long time. We definitely should meet up for a play date Merle are my fave ever!!!
 

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Kelsey - I don't post very often but I am always checking the site and saw your thread earlier in the year about the struggles you were having.

I just wanted to say how proud I am of you for getting up the courage to do this. I was in a similar situation a few years ago and never got the courage to leave, thank god I was an absolute misery to live with and he ended things instead. The slacker had lived off me while he went to uni & then was even too slack to move out so I ended up in an expensive shoe box apartment with my Cairn terrier and had to leave my beautiful cat Cleopatra behind. It was hard, but it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Five months later I met a wonderful man & 10 years, 3 kids and 11 pets later I could never be happier.

There is light at the end of the tunnel honey, so just hang in there and hold your head high. Lincoln will be fine and hopefully when the separation isn't so new & raw your ex might even let you be part of his life again. There is always hope :)

(((HUGS))) Now focus on looking after YOU and the gorgeous Bijoux.
 

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Good for you for doing what was right for you. For not settling. For realizing that you deserve better. I have no doubt that wonderful things are ahead for you! Hang in there!
 

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I'm sorry you have to go through this break up :( Broken hearts are so bad. BUT... you WILL fall in love again and be a million times happier than you ever were with your ex, and whenever you think back at your ex you will be like "What the hell was i thinking?!" lol!
Time heals :)
 

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Hey Kelsey,

HUGS, HUGS, and more HUGS! What doesn't break you only makes you stronger, right?! You are young & strong, you will rise from this, feeling better than ever! I know it doesn't seem that way, so for now try to focus on yourself, spoil yourself, have a bubble bath, or chocolate....or BOTH! :p Little things like that will boost your moral. And no matter what don't blame yourself, or put yourself down, crap happens, it's not your fault, life goes on. I know a thing or two about being under-appreciated, neglected and mistreated, it goes on for as long as you let it. But you bravely put an end to it, therefore you should be proud of your awesome self and look forward to peace and happiness. If you want to chat I'm here, I don't use Facebook, but there is always phone & e-mail.;)
 

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Hi I just want to send some positive energy and encouragement your way. I know how hard it is. I am currently going through the beginning stages of divorce. I too thought I would always be part of a couple. If you need someone to talk to pm me.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Thank you very very very much everyone. This break up has been hard I find myself wanting to go back again and again. But I won't today we make the official break of I'm sorry I'm not going back.

My anxiety is going through the roof about this. Did anyone else have anxiety when they left their partners? Even though I know I shouldn't say partner I wasn't his equal
 

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YES! Anxiety, difficulty breathing, dizziness, etc.
It'll pass, meanwhile it's really important that you eat and find a way to occupy your time, even if it's just a good nap. Try some kind of herbal tea, they do wonders for me when I'm anxious or stressed.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
I'm so glad to hear i'm not the only one I'm making a cup of tea as we speak
 

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I was with my husband for 7 years. He was my first love and the only person I have ever lived with. In the beginning when we first separated I couldn't breath. I couldn't talk. I called my mom and I was so hysterical she immediately came to my house, but I was inconsolable. I couldn't imagine sleeping alone or cooking for one.

Then for about 2 or 3 weeks I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't watch tv or listen to music, but in a way Gigi was my little savior. I had to get out of bed to feed her and exercise and play with her. I depended on her so much. She was my bright spot.

I remember the one thing I didn't want to hear people say was that it would get better with time. I hated that phrase because it didn't help the heartache that I was feeling right then, but sadly it is true. Nothing really helps, but time. I thought I couldn't make it without him, but I'm doing so much better than just making it.

I didn't realize how unhappy I had actually been. I am pursuing new career choices and I don't have to consult anyone about anything I can just do what I need to. I feel so free. Me and my husband have been separated since May.

Another thing I hope you have is a good support system because after 3 weeks my friends and family refused to let me stay locked up in my house. They comforted me, but didn't smother me and they understood when tears just randomly welled up in my eyes.

In my heart I am such an optimist. Which is why I am only now filing for divorce, despite everything I had hope, but I have learned when I have had enough.

May ask why you feel you were not equals in your relationship?
 
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