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Oh hun, I wish I could offer some worldly advice, but whenever I've been in your position I always just muddled through!

The only advice I can offer is to go easy on yourself, look after yourself, try & get enough sleep, eat properly, all that kinda thing. And make sure you surround yourself with a good support network - family, close girlfriends, whoever is always there for you, and enlist their help in hard times - that's what they're there for!

Good luck with everything, my thoughts & prayers are with you,

Janet
 

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In time you will look back and think what did i see in this a s s h o l e! But at the mo you still love him and are hurting. I think you should get some company, ask a friend to come round, even you're mum! Whoever you feel comfortable with be in their company, you have to talk about how you feel or you will end up feeling worse keeping it all inside!

What happened between you then, what problems were you guys having?

Lots of love to you :wave:
 

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ok well the way it's sounding is as if he is fed up of struggling all the time! It is a natural thing to feel and he may come back realising that he has to stick by his family (you and his baby) this is if he is a real man! Or if he is a coward he may not come back to sort out things!

I think that if you do get back together you should decide who's living with who, preferably him in your home so he doesnt decide he's had enough again and tried to kick you out! It's a safeguard. Then it would enable you to get a part time job maybe 15 - 20 hours a week at a super market store or something, those jobs are easy to get, there are shifts available to suit your lifestyle and it will give you guys that extra bit of cash! Then you can treat yourselves every so often!

What do you mean honey from his past the home wrecker? I dont know what you mean by this bit, do you mean his ex girlfriend keeps calling him?

I'm your friend so dont worry you can speak to me whenever you like or pm me privately if you wish! Sometimes people are not so good at understanding what you're going through, you're family may not be taking the issue seriously, they probably think that its a tiff!
 

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Hon, I've said this to you a million times. I know it's hard to do, but you have got to just move on. He knows he has you exactly where he wants you right now. You're like a love sick puppy who just keeps putting up with his crap. You have to move on and move up. It's hard, believe me, there's nothing harder than getting over a relationship that you put your whole heart into. But it's what's best. Think of your son, do you want him to grow up seeing how his dad is treating his mom? To see that he is just using you and think that it's OK to do that to women? No, you don't want him to learn that kind of behavior. The same way I don't want my son to think it's OK to drink and do drugs and treat women like dirt. You want your son to respect women, to think a woman is the most unbelievable thing God ever created. Not like they can be replaced as easy as they can be gotten. Do you know what I mean?

I know I sound like a broken record here. But, the best thing for you right now is to get a job (part time if you don't want full time) and meet some new people. How do you know that the man of your dreams isn't working somewhere that you could get a job? You'll feel better about yourself too. Like you can accomplish something other than diapers, dishes, and laundry :). I'm even getting a part time job at some point to get me out of the house for a little while.
 

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Hon, I know you don't see it right now but your family is trying to be supportive. They are telling you what they see as the best thing for you to do. I hate to say it but I agree with them. He's ended it at least twice now, he's had another girlfriend (and may still). You are going to have to move on and give yourself time to get over him.
 

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What do you mean honey from his past the home wrecker? I dont know what you mean by this bit, do you mean his ex girlfriend keeps calling him?
I think she means that he cheated on her with the girl he has now (hence the homewrecker reference lol) and the girl still calls him. Chances are they're actually still together and he's just a big fat cheating PIG.
 

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i'm sorry if this comes across as hard .....but did you ever saw that episode of OPRAH 'he's just NOT that into you !! '

it was a real eye opener for me .....

get someone who respects you for who you are ,you deserve it sweetie :wink:

Take care :wave:

kisses ,nat
 

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appleblossom said:
I just cant understand why he would tell me that he wanted to work things out if he really didnt.
Some men just don't like being alone. I'm sorry for what you're going through, I really am but you have to try and wake up. Why be somewhere where you're not wanted?

My friend (on his really bad boy days) would go out with a girl just because. He didn't want to be alone and if a girl was throwing herself at him, no questions asked, why not take advantage of it? Eventually he would get tired of her and treat her bad, leave her and ignore the calls. He wasn't looking for happiness, he just wanted an easy lay (sorry, I don't know if I can say that) that would care for him, clean his clothes and cook. :roll: Tho most of his gfs couldn't do that. He's getting better but he's not a guy to bring home to your parents.

You have your son to take care of, think of him and how much he needs his mom to be a strong woman. I completely understand how alone you can feel but your guy is out there and IS NOT this guy that keeps treating you like his personal call girl/maid.
 

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I agree with Vala. This is going to be really tough but what's important is your son and for you to be strong for him. This is going to be a huge change for him as well.
 

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appleblossom said:
thanks that really helped. any idea wher my guy is hiding?? I cant seem to find him anywher & im not about to step foot into a bar to look for him.
You know that saying that goes like...it'll come when you're not looking for it...at the risk of sounding corny...I was totally desperately lonely for a while like I know most of us are at least once in a lifetime...i was really hard on myself..why am i alone? what's wrong with me? and all that...well, I got myself together and realized that love comes when you're not looking and the right guy will hit you like a brick on the face.

The more you feel you're gonna end up forever alone the more you read "desperate". Take your time, heal yourself and become strong then you'll have the right "moves" and get ready to dodge the brick..or at least wear a face mask. :D

P.S. I'm not making a joke out of it :wink: I'm really serious, you'll not be able to find love unless you love yourself first. Be strong.
 

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yes i agree vala love does come when your least looking out for it.

i know - i was lookin for love and who knows prob actin too interested in a particular guy/s i was datin - wel tht didnt work out.

i was p i s s e d off at guys and thats when i met my current bf tryin 2 chat me up - hated all guys at the time so wasnt v nice to him - but he chased me - literally :D
 

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I have also realized that you can't change anyone but yourself. You may think you can, but you can't. And changing yourself for them doesn't work either.

Vala is right - take care of yourself and get comfortable in your own skin. Things will happen when you least expect them to.
 
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