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Discussion Starter #1
Hi everyone. I have a question. Since I euthanized Zarita yesterday I have looked for signs of the remaining two having any behaviors relating to her loss. I have told them "Zarita is all gone" which I use when something is gone. I have not seen ANY behavior of mourning. They act like nothing has happened. I, on the other hand, keep looking for this sweet dog. I have had a long time thinking about her demise, as she was on meds for so long. I miss her so much.

I wonder if this is like normal behavior in a pack? I have had the same experience before when a dog has passed, and not one of the pack seems to care! I once had someone tell me that it was my fault that my dogs didn't seem to grieve!?

Just wondering what other folks have experienced.
 

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Discussion Starter #2
mourning

Hi. No one has any experience on this? I really would like to know whether or not I'm missing something. Thanks for any reply.
 

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Susan,
We have a 13 year old, a 12 year old and a 7 year old and we had a 10 year old little guy we lost in 2015 who had diabetes. "Bandy" was on insulin injections for the last four years of his life. He was also born with birth defects which affected his legs/walking and his jaw. Due to his disabilities, he was treated differently than the remainder of our chi babies at times. The others "knew" Bandy was not able to do all the things they could do and realized he was different. They were so gentle with him even when he wasn't so lovable. They let him think he ruled the roost.

When Bandy passed away, I left his bed under my computer desk where he loved to be at my feet. I was grieving his loss. The others never got in his bed when he was with us. They had multiple beds around the apartment which they all shared as the mood struck them. Several days after Bandy was gone, I found all three of our other chis curled up together in Bandy's bed. I think they were looking for him...It has been two years now and his bed is still in the same spot and Buster, Neko, and Snow still love to sleep in his bed.
 

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I am very sorry Susan for your loss

My dog Brownie and Sunshine were inseparable. They were the perfect pair. They did everything together. Brownie was more of a 20 pound guard dog and Sunshine was a scaredy cat. Brownie helped Sunshine trust me and many other things.
Sunshine was there when he passed. I honestly was way younger and I wasn't aware that dogs had the ability to grieve. I maybe didn't really pay attention to her at the time. But it didn't seem like she changed. I on the other felt like it was the end of the world. I would still go outside calling for Brownie and then realize there was no more Brownie.
Before Brownie passed I had got Buddy Bear so I'm wondering if that's also why it didn't really change her as she still had a companion. They did become very close once Brownie left. Buddy Bear wasn't with us that long once Brownie passed so they never got close.
I think sunshine realized Brownie had passed and wouldn't be coming back. But I didn't notice much of a difference in her behavior overall.
 

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Thanks for the replys. I really haven't seen ANY change in the 2 remaining chi's. They seem to just 'carry on'. I, on the other hand, am continuing to look for her! Her bed/s and the carrier she loved, amoung other things. I miss her so much, but am glad that she is not 'gurgling' with flluid in her chest, and limping from her arthritis. I know I did 'right' by euthanizing her, but wish she had died at home.
 

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When my Dmitri died last year, my cat, who was raised with him, looked for him. It made me feel so bad for her. When I had Dmitri, I fostered many dogs, so he was used to them coming and going, and it didn't bother him, even when a dog we had for a few years had to be rehomed.
 

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Before we had Finley and Gizmo, Tinkers had a "sister" named Shadow. Shadow was a puppy mill breeder who had been rescued and came to us when she was about 5 years old and Tink was 1. They were together until we had to euthanize Shadow due to kidney failure at 14 years old.

Now, a few years before that happened, there was an incident where Shadow was with some friends while we were moving (to keep her safe and out of the way, so much for that) and ran away - she had been abused before coming to us and was spooked easily; I guess they took her out to pee and she bolted. She was gone for three days before we finally found her. The very first night Shadow was gone, at bedtime, Tinkerbell was beside herself. She cried heavily all night - as did I! - and it was so heartbreaking. She was so sad and missed Shadow. A few years later when Shadow got sick and we had to start thinking about euthanization, I worried how Tinkerbell would react to the loss of her buddy.

When it finally came time, we had our vet come to us at our house. I so didn't want to have to take Shadow to a vet's office, where she would be horribly scared due to a strange place and strange people, and have that be her final moments. Thankfully my Mom suggested asking if they would come to us at the last minute, as she had heard of that in the city she lived. So Shadow was able to spend her final moments in my arms, on her (our) bed, in her house - her favourite place with her favourite people. We let Tink see her, then took her out of the room while it was done. When it was over and Shadow had passed, we let Tink back into the room while Shadow was still in my arms, and she came over to sniff and investigate. I was hoping it would let her know what had happened to Shadow so she would understand WHY Shadow was gone, not simply have Shadow disappear without explanation. It worked! After how upset Tink was at Shadow's sudden absence a few years before, Tink handled Shadow's absence after her passing with no issue. She didn't cry for her, or look for her, and she adjusted to life as an "only child" with more ease than I ever expected.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Thank you all. Today Emmie went into Zarita's favorite carrier and laid down. First time since Sunday am. I am slowly getting used to the fact that Zarita is not here. She is with my roommate who she really favored. Donna died in June, and Zarita just adjusted easily.
 

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Thank you all. Today Emmie went into Zarita's favorite carrier and laid down. First time since Sunday am. I am slowly getting used to the fact that Zarita is not here. She is with my roommate who she really favored. Donna died in June, and Zarita just adjusted easily.
I've only had one cat and one dog who obviously mourned losses. My boy dog who I've had for 9 years was there when my 18 year old cat died. Despite that, he checked every cat resting spot in the house for days. It didn't stop until I went to the pound and got another cat. My girl dog, who had known the cat for four years longer, never showed any signs of missing the cat.

That same boy dog was there when my girl dog passed suddenly after months of CHF. He knew she was ill and he knew she passed. He became depressed. They were little twins and did everything together. We took him to the pound to pick out a new friend. He met six dogs over four days. They brought out a little white dog who looked a little like his late girlfriend. He"s nearly blind. He yelped in delight and then realized it was a stranger. Terrible. She didn't like him. He picked a really friendly boy dog. We have a new dog and everything is much better at home. When we all leave the house, he gets depressed again. He just wants to be carried everywhere. Very unusual for him.

We're working on it. It's mostly a time thing but he has a bad heart. We don't know how much time he has and we want to minimize the stress.

I'm glad you have other pet friends. I would be a complete mess without my other dogs and my cat but even then I'm disappointed that I never wake up thinking she's still alive. Weird but true.

Hang in there, Susan.

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