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Nate left about 30 minutes ago and now I can't stop crying! :cry: I'm going to miss him so much...I don't know how I'm going to go 4 years without him. This is much harder than I expected. *sigh* I wish there were more vet schools in CA. :( I've never been through a long distance relationship before. I know it's going to be incredibly tough. Anyone who's been in this situation before have any advice?
 

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Aww, sweetie, I was wondering when it would hit you. I've never had a long distance relationship so I can't help at all. We'll be here for moral support though, you know that.

It's none of my business (which clearly isn't stopping me from asking :lol: ) but how come you're not moving to Michigan with him? I know you have a job but jobs are a lot easier to come by than good relationships. I'm sure you've considered moving and you must have your reasons for not doing so but I thought I'd ask. :)
 

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aw hun i'm so sorry for the tears. one thing you 2 do have which is a lot stronger than most long distance relationships is you were together before you became a long distance couple.... does that make sense? you have already built a foundation that can stand the test of time.....
 

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Having a long distance relationship can be very hard...and lonely...As Rachael suggested, you may want to think about relocating if you want the relationship to continue...having said that...many couples do endure the loneliness and stay committed to one another, but it can be difficult.

Stay busy...and keep in contact with Nate daily via email etc...Today will be the worst day for you and each day that passes from now on makes it one day closer to Nate's return !
 

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I wish you and Nate all the luck in the world...


I am sad for you and him for having to do this long distance part of your relationship... I hope ou can see each other many times in the next 4 years...
 

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Aww, Kristen, I'm sorry Nate's going away for awhile. How far is it from where you are now? I'm sure you will find a way to make it work. From what I can tell you two have a very strong relationship. It is possible to make it work. :( I'm sorry it must be so hard on you right now. Best of luck to Nate at school too.

Meg
 

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I too was wondering when it would really hit you. The next few days will be the toughest I'm sure. Try to stay busy, maybe visit friends or a girl friend. Don't you have family in the area - seems I remember you do. Maybe a visit with your family would help.

I remember Nate saying you loved to shop - go buy something great for yourself. I know - that sounds selfish. :lol: But I used to do that sometimes when I was really down in the dumps. :lol:

Just remember, we're all here for you. You can vent anytime you want to!
Chin up, girl..... :)
 

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I've also been wondering when it was going to hit home. Kristen think of military wives, they go through this all the time and they make it. It's hard, it's lonely, and it sucks (now that was an elegant statement, LOL). Can he come home summers and xmas break and stuff or is he going to try and take classes during the summer also? I think Nate said you have an excellent job and own your house but is there any chance you could maybe sell the house or lease it and move too? If it's just impossible to do that then remember that you love each other and have a strong relationship and that this will be behind you in just a few years. Yes, I know right now 4 years seems like a lifetime. I wish we could make it easier but we'll be here if you just need a bunch of shoulders to cry on. ((((Hugs))))
 

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chimom said:
I remember Nate saying you loved to shop - go buy something great for yourself. I know - that sounds selfish. :lol: But I used to do that sometimes when I was really down in the dumps
I think thats a great idea :) I know it seems so tough for you right now but hang on in there , go shopping and then maybe tell Nate all about your shopping trip :) i'm sure he will want to hear all about it :)

Sara :wave:
 

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:cry: I'm sure this is going to be really tough on you but you both can do it. I know we don't know you guys, but you seem to have a really strong relationship.

I didn't realize he was going to be gone for 4 years. :shock: But if you guys can get through this, then the rest of your lives together will be a piece of cake. :wink:
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Thanks for all your support guys! Gosh, just reading all your posts is making me cry again!! I'm such a dork! Yeah, the fact that he was really leaving didn't hit me until last night...I'm not sure why. But, I know that we do have a strong relationship so we will get through it somehow.

Rachael, there area a lot of reasons why I am not moving to Michigan for now. The main reason is that my whole family is down here. I'm very close to my parents and my extended family and my grandma is getting old so I really don't want to leave her. Also, Tinker you're right, my dad bought me a really nice townhouse and so I basically have free rent (I just pay the homeowners). In theory, my parents could sell the place and still make a profit but they really don't want me to leave either. Also, I do have a great job...I just got a promotion and I'm probably going to get another raise in September so I'm making pretty good money. I just checked out the jobs in Lansing, MI and there is NOTHING in my field. So, I would probably have to go into something else to find a job there.

I don't know. I think I'm just going to try things out. If things get bad, I will definitely consider moving there. I already have two flights booked-one on Labor Day weekend and one in November and I'm planning on flying Nate out to Vegas in October when our friends go and he's back out here in December so I'll see him once a month. When I think about it 4 years won't be THAT long. I think it was the initial shock that really got to me! Anyways, I will definitely be keeping busy....I'm actually going to see my parents in about 10 minutes! :D Thanks for your support. It really means a lot to me!
 

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Kristin, you seem to be a young lady who has a good head on her shoulders and has thought things through carefully. I admire you for your devotion and love for your family. That takes strength and courage. Sometimes doing the "sensible" thing is very difficult. You and Nate are young and have your life ahead of you. Spend time with your family while you still have them. I don't think you will regret it.

Sounds like you have things planned so you will be seeing each other frequently for the rest of the year anyway. Once you've adjusted to the situation, things should be a little easier. It's wonderful that you have your family close by.

And remember, your chi-friends are only a keystroke away.... :D
 

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Kristin, I think you and Nate are going to be fine. It's just the first day that's really got you down, which is perfectly natural. Already you have Labor Day weekend to look forward to and that's just around the corner. If you guys can see each other once a month or so, I think it will be a piece of cake. And it will give you both a chance to spread your wings a bit and be independent of one another before you commit to marriage. It can actually be a very positive step in your relationship.

What a lovely couple you guys are and you have loads of people rooting for you. :)
 

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I thought you guys were married for some reason?

I did long distance with hubby before we got married and it lasted...ummmm 6 months before I sold everything and moved to florida....yes it took me 1 year to find a job...yes it has taken me forever to get used to living here and being without my parents...but My hubby is my life...like our vows said, and two become one....and that's how it is....I forget which bible verse says something like...you leave your parents and your husband/wife becomes your new family...

This was hard for me, being hispanic we are VERY close to our families, so being apart from my family was hard...but like I said...real love is one in a million and my mohter was the one who told me to move to Florida to be with my (fiance at the time) in the end...my parents moved to florida...so it all worked out....

If you guys can see each other often it will be very good...I couldn't afford to do that so that's why I could only stand it for 6 months...LOL

I wish you luck....I couldn't do it...but maybe your stronger than me...all I know is yes real love can withstand anything.... :wave:
 

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I certainly feel for you! My hubby and I were 4,000 miles apart for about 3 years while we were dating so if you ever need to talk, just PM me.

There are lots of ways you can stay connected even if you aren't physically together. Technology helps a lot. Get web cams, send e-cards and emails...you two have been through a lot together and you can get through this too!

Good luck! :wave:
 

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I'm sad that you are feeling so blue I know it will be hard but you just have to see each other as much as possible. Just keep looking forward to when you see him next :wink:
 

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I have faith in you 2 that you can make this work. It's going to be tough I am sure but you both can handle it. Just keep thinking about your future w/ him. :)
 

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Kristin, I was also wondering when you would feel the impact of Nate leaving, and I do feel for you. However you obviously have given the matter at lot of consideration re whether to have gone with him or not and if it comes to that you can still do so later.

My youngest daughter had the same dilemna over three years ago and at first wanted her BF to go to Sydney on his own (he had a promotion to Marketing Manager there with the company he worked for) as she was excelling in her Marketing position and had recently been promoted yet again. She had thoughts of joining him later, but she knew he really was hoping she would go with him.

Another thing that was holding her back was that I had been diagnosed with a medical condition the previous year, but I told all my kids that in no way did I want that to deter them from anything they planned to do with their life. I didn't want that. It was very important to me that they live their lives to the fullest. You're only young once and I've learnt thru' my personal experiences to live for today. I miss my daughter terribly at times, especially because of my medical condition, but I wouldn't want it any other way. I'm happy as long as she's happy. She did go with him and at first they both said they'd probably be back in two years but 3 years later they seem to love their life there and are looking at staying maybe permanently (which is REALLY hard on her BF's parents, who have only one other offspring, a D who has a South African Fiance) and it looks like they're well & truly settled in London where she has been for at least 6 yrs now.

You'll know in your heart whether you should or shouldn't join Nate at any time, and if you did I'm sure your family would love you enough to respect your decision. And no matter what, you two obviously have such a special relationship, love will conquer all. :love3: :wave:
 
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