[snowhawk]

My wife and I have a 1 year old male chihuahua...His name is murphy.

This dog absolutely adores my wife....gets very excited when she comes home, follows her around and generally wants to spend every minute with her. Im sure a lot of you will think this is great and adorable....The problem is I find him a bit much at times and do like my own space and would like to spend some times with my wife without this little dog licking her face and generally getting in between us.

Now, I think he has separation anxiety because he wimpers when my wife goes to the bedroom (he sleeps in the hall of our flat and isn't allowed in bedroom). He will also just wait outside the bedroom until she comes out. Also when we come in from work his pen has been tossed around the hall with blankets/ pillow everywhere, which I think he is doing out of anxiety.

I probably shouldn't be bothered, but he will never come and sit with me unless my wife is with us. This I think is down to him maybe fearing me. I have wanted to make sure he is obedient and have tried training him loads which my wife does also...He walks very well on a lead and sits on command and does paw & lie down. We get him to wait to be asked on the sofas...I thought it might make him respect/like me more to come sit with me etc. I walk him in the morning before work and I do all the feeding.

The most I ever get from him is when I come home from work he barks loads and runs and jumps up at me. I notice he never barks at my wife when she comes home.

He generally runs out of my way and hide if im walking around the flat...oh and he cowers and sometimes pees on the floor. I just cant understand it...

Can someone make any sense of this because I would like to have some relationship with the little guy. Ive read loads of things about alpha male role etc...

 

[pastel]

Could he have been abused by a man previously? Is he a rescue?
If so, he might just need time to adjust

also I heard, if you have a dog that's intimidated by you, you shouldn't look straight at him, but face him sideways and let them come to you.

Don't get discouraged!

 

[snowhawk]

Nah we got him from a breeder.

I think he was the runt of the litter thou

It's quite hard to not look at him...I do try and be a lot more gentle and don't move about so fast. It feels like its not going to get better

 

[DKT113]

I am sure Murphy definitely gets the vibe from you that you are aggravated by him. Dogs have a very keen sense and little dogs probably have keener senses for their survival. If you "think" he fears you, he probably does. You walk him in the morning, feed him and have trained him loads & he will sit on the couch with you and your wife & that's great but have you tried 1 on 1 just having a little fun with him and showing him you have a fun side ~ opposed to him always seeing your large and in charge side?

I probably fall away from the "norm" of the forum I don't think it's great and adorable that Murphy wants to spend every breathing moment with your wife. That probably didn't come out right ~ but that was in response to you saying we'd all just think it was marvelous that he did that with her. I don't think it's awful or great ~ it's your reality, I can only speak for what we do here and I know we love our little gal, but I do work hard daily making sure she is ok to spend time with herself in her x-pen, happily keeping herself busy and having fun. We just now started working on that with the vehicle as well. I don't want her to freak if she has to keep her composure while I exit the vehicle to get the mail, drop something off etc.

It's also sad if he is having anxiety attacks in his bed, because that should be his place of comfort. Alot of people myself included have great success with having a crate in their room so the pup can see his/her people and they stay the night in their crate. This could be a solution for you guys. He wouldn't be on the bed but would be able to see you and be in his crate. If you got him to rest through the night under those conditions you could possibly try placing the crate in another room once he learned to sleep through the night ~ I really don't know ~ but I am sure someone else will. I would think though he will have to learn how to get through the night without ripping this and tossing things before additional issues are able to be tackled.

Really I would just try to have fun with the little joker. Let him see you are a fun, kind man and not one to fear and I think you will make great strides with him.

 

[snowhawk]

Hi thanks for the reply....

We did have Murphy sleeping in our bedroom but he was an absolute nightmare in the mornings...jumping up the side of the bed. I couldnt take it if I'm honest so that's why we moved him. He is actually fine with sleeping out in the hall way and very rarely get much bother out of him. I thought it would be a good idea seeing as when we move to a house he would have to sleep downstairs anyways. I like having a room which is off limits too...it made it very hard for my wife and I to be romantic with him in the room...but yeah as I mentioned he only really does it during the day but I guess it could be boredom but that doesn't make much sense.

I will try and keep it up with him....I don't really get much time or opportunity to play with him as he will be concentrating on my wife.

Funny enough....tonight I'm in the flat with Murphy and he has come and kept me company on the sofa so maybe it's a step in the right direction.

I just would like him to amuse himself I guess is the main theme so that he is fine in his own head.

 

[Pat64]

My Chi follows me everywhere! He gets so excited when I come home, he honks like a goose! I put a gate up in the livingroom when I need a break. He's attach himself to me if he could.

 

[woodard2009]

You should start feeding him & be more involved in his care & nurturing so he adores you as much as your wife. Although these chis usually take to one person, they do have plenty of love for the rest of the house-hold. My chi adores me & never leaves my side, but every so often she has to have loving from hubby (mostly because she knows he likes to snack at night & maybe he'll share!) One thing that would help you bond with this chi is lay on the floor where you're down to his level and try to play with him. This is the quickest way to win him over. Don't give up! I'm sure he loves you just as much, but he probably feels your resistence.