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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey everyone, hoping you can shed some light on the issue I've got.

We've got 2 chi's, Buddy and Belle. Belle is 'mine' and Buddy is my partner Dave's. We got them both a few months ago on the same day from separate people. Buddy is now 7 months and Belle is 6 months.

The problem is whenever Dave isn't around Buddy but I am, he really doesn't like it. For example...
- I go downstairs first in a morning & Buddy will sit under the table until Dave comes down & won't even come out to say hello to me
- If they go outside Buddy won't come in unless I'm not there/ Dave's there.
- Buddy is never more than 1 meter from Dave's feet and if I go near, he cowers or moves out of the way

On the other hand Belle is brilliant & loves Dave. Will happily be with him if I'm not around.

I'm trying EVERYTHING it seems to make him like me - treating them both, stroking both, feeding both. It's starting to work in that Buddy will come to me now if I have food & will sit on my knee (but doesn't look too happy) and he seems to like being petted by me.

I've thought it's because one or all of the following...
- Buddy's previous owner was a single lady who was with him 24/7 - so he never saw her with anybody else - maybe Buddy is jealous of me or too overprotective of Dave? You should see his face if Dave comes near me, it's utter disgust!
- A few weeks after we've bought them, I hadn't realised how important it is to watch your feet when you go the time we didn't have a gate, Buddy shot out into the drive & I somehow managed to get him back inside, but really shouted at him & scruffed him; not so much it caused him pain - just enough to know he'd done wrong. Do you think because of the excitement he had at this moment increased his feelings towards the telling off?
- I'm the one who tells the dogs off mainly, although Dave has been doing his fair share lately as Buddy's always in his way & getting more clingy (although I don't think he scruffs hard enough for the dogs to know they've done something wrong - they think he's playing)

Belle is getting spayed next week so I'll be off all week whilst Dave's at work. I really don't want Buddy to be sat in the kitchen under the table all week on his own. Dave says this is his choice, but it's upsetting. I don't want to get him from the table as that's obviously his safe place.

Any suggestions other than to keep doing what I'm doing re treats, strokes? When Belle's in her op next week I was planning on taking Buddy for a walk for some 1 on 1 bonding but if he doesn't want to I don't want to make him.

Thanks in advance :)

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2,480 Posts
Hiya, umm I wouldn't be "scruffing" too much at all or you'll never get near any of them.

Chi's are really weird about being picked up if someone is in the open & standing up, many of them take off like frightened rabbits if you try to approach them, they will back up & run away if you try to put a harness/lead etc on - they're just the strangest little characters like that - it seems each have their rituals about how/when/where they can be picked up or approached.

Telling them off verbally is usually enough to worry the bejeebers out of them and I find that's all I've ever had to do with my x 4 because they just live to please you and if they know they've let you down, they're pretty much devastated.

They have damn good memories which can and cannot work in our favour :) I wouldn't be at all surprised if he's carrying a grudge against you from the day you scruffed him but it sounds like he's coming around to you again, even if slowly.

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5,822 Posts
I agree with Dee. No physical reprimanding is necessary. Chis are extremely sensitive and often just speaking in a disapproving tone is enough (in my experience with Toby, my moms Chi Rocky, and my family's previous Chi). Buddy sounds like a fearful, timid dog and any form of physical punishment, even the slightest bit, may be scary to him.

Feed him, give him any treats, and continue to attempt to give attention- but don't overwhelm him. Walking with just him is also a great way to bond.

Your partner can also show him how to share- i.e. he can hug you and pet Buddy at the same time to show that just because you are around doesn't mean that he won't get love and affection. He is not used to having to share "his" person, so he really needs time and positive reinforcement. Every time he comes to you or shows you any attention, both you and your partner need to praise him like crazy so that he knows it is a good thing to do.

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3,886 Posts
I agree with the above he sounds very timid which is what my ninja is what we have found thy has worked for us is you cannot be standing when you approach him like dee said you must get down on the floor on his level if he's got a favourite treat or a piece of his own food you can slowly work him over in a CALM gentle tone and disposition you cannot show any signs of frustration or anger if he comes close then runs away you will lose his trust forever just keep working at that every single day while you're off
You can do
It throughout the day when he comes you give him the treat and eventually
Off until you pick him up then give the treat etc. do not yell scold or frisk him in any manner your just making him more afraid of you.

It will take some
Time but it will
Work if you have the time and patience

Good luck

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659 Posts
Ye it's definitely because u "scruffed" him, seriously chis can be soooo sensitive. My chi Sugar for example is really touchy, even a change in my tone of voice worrys her, so I have to be careful around her. Talk in a happy upbeat voice, offer treats, give cuddles and praise him for everything he does good. Don't punish him physically wen he's bad, ignore bad behaviour or tell him off verbally but don't overdo it. Sugar huffs awfully with me if I tell her off so I try not to unless it's really necessary, and just praise her loads for good behaviour to encourage her and give her confidence.

If ur partner doesn't scold him wen he misbehaves like u say, then he prob just prefers him because of that!
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