No words can ease my pain today. When I woke up to a phone call from my sister telling me my 15 yr old Chihuahua Mindi had pasted away in her sleep last night. Mindi has been there for me through my wedding at 19, the birth of all of my children, my divorce, and my second wedding. She was the sweetest soul that ever walked the face of the planet. She loved car rides and ice cream and sleeping in the sun. The pain in my heart is so great I feel I have lost my one of my children. I feel it was my fault, maybe she died of a broken heart, for me taking her to my sisters and keeping Echo and Scooby here. See my sister has no kids and I thought it would be a nice quite place for her no to be bothered. I guess seeing her everyday just wasn't enough for her. Or maybe she knew that it was ok to let go and become an angel, that I would be ok now. I am going to have her creamated and keep her ashes on my fireplace so she can still watch over us. I am happy my angel has her wings now. FLY MY ANGEL FLY!!
OMG! I was filling up reading your post....I had no idea what happened when I posted in the other thread. My heart goes out to you and she could not have gone in a more peaceful way and I GUARANTEE she is an angel now.............just waiting for you at Rainbow Bridge
although she wasn't a chihuahua i just had to try and make peace with her loss somewhere and i figured everyone here is so beautiful and understanding no one would mind she was a german short hair pointer:
letter to my tasha bird
it all started when i walked through those doors of the animal hospital, looking for a job. never thinking i'd fall in love and adopt. but there you were looking at me so sad. i knew you were something special way before they told me you were left behind and abandoned. they left you to board with no intention on picking you up, they moved out of state and we never heard from them again. to find out that you lived in a cage for 2 months waiting to go home broke my heart. it broke my heart even more that i found out you had to be put on ace for your nerves, you dug at the cage so your quicks got exposed, you chewed at your legs and feet so bad you ahd to wear an e-collar. oh my tasha i couldn't go to work and take care of you knowing that you didn't deserve it at all. so in the first week of working there i took you in. you came a long way. calmed down so much. even learned how to sit, a great feat for an 8 year old you didn't even mind when i added bird to your name. i still don't know why i did that..i brought you to work with me and was so worried that you thought i would leave you, but i never did. i always came back for you. you enjoyed living with me. you especially loved monkey, you would point at him for hours on end sugar gliders like privacy but he didn't mind you watching him, you 2 had a very cute relationship. i know how sad you were when he passed away... after that i would take you to point at the hamsters and guinnie pigs at petsmart...i got you spayed and i was there in the room watching every little detail. i was even the one to wake you up after surgery, you had me scared there girl, you took a very long time to wake up. after 3 months you started getting sick. staph infections, ear infections, urinary tract infections, and a curious bloody discharge from your nipple adn an occasional bloody nose. i got so many tests done for you but we couldn't see what the problem was. it hurt me so much to see you like that. always sick with something. i couldn't even pet you without you going into a scratching fit cause you were so itchy with the skin infections. you know dr. c and i talked long and hard about making the decision. i even talked with you, remember. i told you to give mommy a sign to help me do what is best for you. that day, december 3rd 2004 was the hardest day of my life. i don't remember too much about it. i was in a daze. all i remember was taking you to petsmart to say goodbye to your furry friends, taking you for a walk and then bringing you to work. i'm glad i chose to stay in the room with you. i'm even gladder that you looked up at me and your eyes didn't look sad anymore, that was my sign dear friend. i held you in my arms and you went so very peacefully and quick. i knew that i gave you a great year and in that year you got to see what a true loving relationship with a human could be. i wouldn't change a thing about it. i can't wish that you never got sick, there's no use in wishing to change what happened in the past. it was what it was and it is what it is.... there was a reason you came into my life and there was a reason for why things ended so soon. you taught me a lot as well. thank you my friend for finding your way into my life. i miss you dearly.
thank you for letting me share that here. she was a great dog.
rachael: i would have done more if i could have, the connection we shared was awesome. your thank you means a lot to me.
kemo's mama: there is so much more i could say about her but my heart was growing too heavy as i was typing. we started to talk about euthansia about 2 weeks before we actually put her to sleep. that last day was the hardest day of my life. having to bring her places and kiss her head knowing that that was the last time for it all. oh here i go again let me stop before i short circuit my computer.....
working at an animal hospital i've gotten to grow attatched to a few select animals. even though i know the "consequences" i still wear my heart on my sleeve. i got the worst news the other day when i was following up with one of my "call outs" is what i call them..... mr. bean is in renal failure and will be put to sleep this coming week.
one day a client came in to have her cat put to sleep, a 12 year old cat named cheyene. well he was healthy and there was no reason to have him euthanized so the dr. talked the lady into signing him over. the staff loved him! we changed his name to bean. time went by and he was a "hospital cat" for some time. so i said if nobody adopts him within this next month i'll take him home. i introduced him to tasha bird and they didn't mind each other, which was a shock cause bean always hissed at big dogs...well a great client heard about bean so she adopted him and gave him a great year! he was well loved with her and he got to visit us often when she went out of town he would board with us. the last time he boarded i noticed he had lost a little weight. and then one morning i was in the catery i checked on all the cats and everyone seemed good a few were sleeping, some rubbing against the door so i could rub them and mr. bean was drinking. so i went about my business, cleaning and setting things up for a few brush outs i had to do....and when i looked at mr. bean (is what the owner started calling him) he was drinking still. so i took his bowl away (it was near empty) and i put a measured amount of water in, gave it back and he kept drinking. so i did my brush outs, took me about 45 minutes checked on mr. bean and his bowl was empty, so i measured more water and gave it to him, he went right over and started drinking. i noticed wow he hasn't peed yet something isn't right. i told the dr.'s they got the ok from the owner and pulled blood. that is when we found out that he is in renal failure. it upsets me when we have to say goodbye to animals, but when i know them and have taken care of them it makes it personal. goodbye mr. bean you will see tasha bird again when you cross the bridge.
I'm so sorry for poor Mr. Bean. I know you wear your heart on your sleeve (you are made that way and there is no cure ) so I can only imagine how difficult this is for you. Try to keep in mind that you made a big difference in his life as he goes to his forever peace.
I have a friend who's very religious but if it isn't written (as in the Bible), he doesn't believe it. Therefore, he doesn't believe animals go to heaven. Now, what kind of place would heaven be without animals???? Mr. Bean will be there, of that I have no doubt. Whisper in his ear to look for your Tasha Bird.