[EmberLuvu]

As everyone probably knows I have owned a Chihuahua before Ember. Well, his name was Max...

We had rescued Max from an abusive family, and in the years he was with me we had bonded strongly. Nothing could have torn us apart. His love for me was unspeakable, and vice versa. So we decided to bring a new dog into the family because his big friend, an 8 year old Beagle (who had sadly gotten heartworm and died suddenly, before we even knew it) had passed on. So we got another beagle friend in early December 2010...

On December 20th, 2010, at roughly 3:55 pm eastern time, I was in the front yard walking Trigger our new beagle, and Max was out in the backyard playing (fenced in) while I did so. Our neighbors' pit bull, Lala, charged up to the fence... and I turned around to go back in, since Lala scared me (the owners of her trained their dogs to fight, mom had reported them several times but to no avail) alot... I heard a high pitched painful "YIP!" behind me. I whirl around only to see Lala over our fence, with my beloved Max in her mouth, shaking him. I stared, frozen and unsure of what to do, in shock. "Goodbye, Max..." is all I could say gently, then he died. I began to scream, mom raced out and saw- she raced over to the neighbors while Grandpa called animal control. Max died December 20th, 2010 at 4:00pm eastern. The day I will never forget.

Animal control came and got the dog that killed him and it got put down on Christmas eve. They took Max's body to a dog cemetary that we don't know the location of.

It's nearly 1 year without Max and I'm barely pulling through. He was the best friend I'd ever had- and I just can't let him go.

 

[svdreamer]

I am so sorry. It's so traumatic to see a beloved pet killed before your eyes. It will get better. You will morn, but have to eventually let him go, hard as it is. He's waiting for you at the bridge, he wouldn't want you to be so unhappy. He would want you to go on with your life and celebrate the love you two had, not be sad over it.

 

[EmberLuvu]

I am so sorry. It's so traumatic to see a beloved pet killed before your eyes. It will get better. You will morn, but have to eventually let him go, hard as it is. He's waiting for you at the bridge, he wouldn't want you to be so unhappy. He would want you to go on with your life and celebrate the love you two had, not be sad over it.

Yes, I know he would want me to move on and not live in the past...
Not that long ago, about a month ago, I was outside in the autumn air sitting on the patio, where I always sat beside him and just petted him telling him all my troubles and what was on my mind, he had always listened. Anyway, I suddenly felt something touch me, almost like fur, and I could... I turned around and I literally SAW Max for about two seconds, then he just faded. I suddenly got totally calm, and it felt like Max was there right beside me...

I still wonder, was that Max or was that me seeing things?

 

[woodard2009]

That was probably Max saying goodbye and letting you know you can move on. That he's in a happy place. Poor little fella had such a hard life.

 

[EmberLuvu]

That was probably Max saying goodbye and letting you know you can move on. That he's in a happy place. Poor little fella had such a hard life.

Yes, I believe that too. I had gave him the best life possible and now he is in a happy place as a reward for giving me the best life possible with him in return.
I love you, Max, play happy at the bridge!

 

[EmberLuvu]

Picture of Max

Picture of Max I dug up...

 

[Kaila]

Ohhh, that's just so sad.. I cried while reading your post. I can't imagine losing my Teddy. I'm the same way-- whenever I'm sad or conflicted, I like to hold him close and talk to him. Sometimes dogs make the best listeners because they do it free from any judgment or preconceptions.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know I'd be torn up too, perhaps for years afterwards, if I lost Teddy. But Pam is right. Max would want you to move on and be happy. The situation was nearly unavoidable. No one could have known that that other dog would attack him right then and there. Maybe Max appeared to you to let you know that you should have no guilt and that he's made it safe across the bridge.

He was just beautiful. Again, I'm so sorry.

 

[KayC]

I am so sorry. I lost my heart dog Roxy right in front of me in a simular situation as well is is horrible. It's been over 3 years and I still can hear and see it like it was yesterday. I miss her so much. I am sure that was your wee Max stopping by to let you know he is OK. The time you had with was a wonderful thing you did for him. (((((HUGS)))))

 

[Willowjune]

I have tears in my eyes to read about Max--I'm so sorry for your loss. How wonderful that he found a time when he could actually come through so clearly that you could see and feel him! I've had two dogs that have passed over and they drop by every so often (but never so that I actually see them, I just know they're there), so I'm guessing Max visits you more than you know. Such a sweet baby and the two of you loved each other so much....

 

[tysoncallmetyty]

Oh god. That's horrible. I'm not letting Tyson outside... forget it. I ride my horse around my house and it is very scary when there are dogs on the loose. We have a lot of pits in New Mexico. It's awful when people teach them to be aggressive. They can be nice dogs. I am so so sorry that happened. I used to have pugs and chows. I have outlived my babies. It really hurts when they pass to the other side. But, they are in peace, we are the ones hurting. All my love to Max over the rainbow.

 

[KittyD]

I could not read and not comment.

I am so sorry for your awful devastating loss.
Large dogs make me nervous around small dogs, I'd never ever trust one regardless of how nice it seemed.

My poodle who is now over the rainbow bridge himself was attacked by a Lab 6 years ago when he was outside with me on OUR front lawn.. the dog came charging across the street and tore open his side, thankfully he was ok.. but it was terrifying! and the asshat owner had the nerve to yell at me!!

Nothing will ever replace your dog but no doubt he is looking down upon you.

((hugs))

 

[~LS~]

Aww sweetie, I'm so very sorry for your loss, how tragic.
What a devastating story. You are very brave and strong.
HUGS

 

[EmberLuvu]

Thank you everyone. I've been thinking about Max alot, lately, and I felt him a couple days ago... it was just that feeling like when Max was right beside me. I was with Ember when that happened. That love between me and Max, I could feel it. Ember reminds me so much of him... I don't think I'll ever get another dog that isn't a Chi, they make me feel close to Max. :')

 

[Nala]

Yes, I know my toy poodle Natalie is always
With me. And my husband had a Bassett hound
that he still has little conversations with to
this day. He'll always be with you to love
and comfort you. Lots of hugs, Laura and Nala

 

[EmberLuvu]

Thank you. I thought it was actually weird but I sometimes talk to Max too lol.

It was such a sad Christmas without him...

 

[Nala]

Max

Thank you. I thought it was actually weird but I sometimes talk to Max too lol.

It was such a sad Christmas without him...

I know what you mean. Holidays are very hard. I
just saw that picture of Max. Now, there's
a dog with character and a handsome guy, too!

 

[EmberLuvu]

Thank you Nala, he was much prettier in person- he was very happy there because we had just started up the grill lol. He always loved the grill because he knew if a hotdog or hamburger flipped off onto the ground... yum lol.

He was literally half of me with so much personality and love in him- he didn't have enough time. He deserved so much better then dying that way at that age. He taught me love and respect, kindess and understanding... and many other things. He taught me how to truly be the person dog lovers want to be- deeply connected with their dogs to the point of understanding, a dog-human bond like no other bond I ever had with ANY other dogs and still don't- he was special. I felt that since he has passed I have forgotten how to love, to respect, to understand and be kind to other animals- but I recently discovered what truly caused the bond and what will cause deep bonds like that.

Pure and neverending love.
I'm not saying every dog I get will have a bond like that one- probably not, actually. But I know that if I treat them like I treated Max it is possible we will get a deep bond as well- so much more complicated and deeper then any human could ever understand.

 

[Nala]

That's very insightful. I always say you get out
of a dog what time and energy and of course
love you put into that relationship. Sounds like you
put a lot of emotional investment into Max and
it might be difficult to invest that energy in
another dog, especially when he was taken
from you so traumatically and abruptly. I know when I
got another dog after Natalie I also had this
feeling that I was being disloyal to her. Then I
had this dream where Natalie and the new
dog were side by side and I was petting both
of them. And it sort of seemed like Natty
was telling me she loved the new dog, too and it
was ok to love her. I don't think you have the same
sort of love for each dog you have. I think
it's different each time but is equal in its own way.
Sorry for talking so much. Maybe none of
this is helpful at all. I hope it is.
Peace, Laura and Nala

 

[EmberLuvu]

That's very insightful. I always say you get out
of a dog what time and energy and of course
love you put into that relationship. Sounds like you
put a lot of emotional investment into Max and
it might be difficult to invest that energy in
another dog, especially when he was taken
from you so traumatically and abruptly. I know when I
got another dog after Natalie I also had this
feeling that I was being disloyal to her. Then I
had this dream where Natalie and the new
dog were side by side and I was petting both
of them. And it sort of seemed like Natty
was telling me she loved the new dog, too and it
was ok to love her. I don't think you have the same
sort of love for each dog you have. I think
it's different each time but is equal in its own way.
Sorry for talking so much. Maybe none of
this is helpful at all. I hope it is.
Peace, Laura and Nala

You're right no love can be the same. Interesting dream. And no you don't talk to much, I probably do though.

 

[Nala]

No, you don't talk too much at all. Besides
You always have interesting things to say.
It really helps to talk about Natalie. People are kind
but after a while they don't want to talk about
it, so you don't say anything. Or they think it's just
a dog they don't realise how much she meant to me. I
know she died four months ago but I'll always
remember her and cherish the time I had
with her. I'll never forget her.