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HELP! I would seriously like your thoughts, comments, and opinions on this issue. This may be a little lengthy. I apologize in advance. But I truly will appreciate those that read this in entirety, and respond. THANK YOU. :)

SO ... I'll be a senior in college this year. I live in an off campus apartment with three other sorority sisters. We live in an apartment complex that does not allow dogs, however, MANY people have dogs where I live. There are THREE Great Danes (Roxy's best friends .... JK! :rolleyes:) that I know of, as well as a few Labs and smaller dogs. I've talked to all of the people I know/have seen that have dogs there, and NONE of them have gotten in trouble. Two of the GD's have been living there for two years. So, I am not worried about having Roxy there. She has lived there since I got her in November. I am at home for the summer though since I work at home, so she is currently at home with me, duh!

So anyways, we got through all of last school year with NO problems. Roxy does NOT bark, unless she has a reason to. She is a dog, so she'll bark at times, but only when appropriate. So that's okay. No complaints. She doesn't potty in the house, she doesn't chew things. She's literally just so good. She's nothing to worry about. I know I won't get in trouble with having her there, unless someone was to see me outside taking her to potty and decided to complain (but I'm sure no one will do that... and if they do, I'll just deal with that bridge when it comes then I guess!) My roommates weren't sure about having a dog there since we aren't allowed, but they approved my decision and were okay with it. I would never have brought her there if they didn't allow. I live with three other people. I have to respect their decisions too. But, they all saw how perfect Roxy is and how she causes no problems. So, all is/was good!

One roommate is moving out, as she has graduated. So, my "best friend" who is also in my sorority is moving in and taking her place. I put best friend in quotes for many different reasons. Don't get me wrong, she is one of my best friends. We've gone to school together since high school. We schedule literally all of our college classes together. We're with each every day. I have two best friends that I've known since high school as well, but they go to different colleges. They are truly my best friends, unlike my "best friend" who is moving into my apartment. Long story short, my other two best friends don't like her. My boyfriend doesn't like her. She's truly not a good friend. She's selfish, rude, and doesn't care about anything but herself. How is she my best friend then, you may ask? :confused: I'm kind of confused myself. But, we do everything together. She has a lot of good qualities to her. I enjoy being around her when her selfish and rude self is hidden away. I don't know. It's complicated. My true best friends and my boyfriend do not know how I put up with her. But like I said, it's a little complicated. I'm a pretty tolerant person though. :rolleyes:

SO NOW TO THE PART OF THE STORY THAT I NEED YOUR THOUGHTS AND COMMENTS ON ...

She wants to get a dog of her own. She'll be moving into our apartment around the middle of August. She's been thinking about it for a while. She wants a Pomeranian. She decided to text my two other roommates and ask them if it was okay. She said she'd understand if it wasn't. The two of us have had many conversations about how she shouldn't get her hopes up because they might not be okay with it, especially since they weren't okay with Roxy at first. Well, I talked to both of them last night. Neither of them were really sure what to do or how to handle the situation. They didn't think it was a good idea, but had no idea how to tell her.

One of my roommates decided to text her back today and nicely/respectfully explain to her that we don't think it's a good idea. We aren't even allowed to have one dog, having two would be overkill and just asking for a fine or eviction, etc. She told her how maybe we can talk about it later on once we're back in school, but for now, we're not okay with it. I thought she handled the situation very well and that my BFF would respectfully agree and let it go. I should have known better. This was not the case....

She texted me and said it was all my fault. She told me how she had to leave work because she was so heartbroken and couldn't believe that I wouldn't want her to have a dog. I shouldn't have gotten her hopes up, blah blah blah. I proceeded to tell her that I never said no. I can't say no. She's my friend! It's up to my other two roommates, but that I'd support their decision. I told her I want her to have a dog, but that I told her a long time ago to not get her hopes up because it was a great possibility that our other two roommates wouldn't be okay with it. I also told her how I don't think Roxy will be okay with another dog in HER APARTMENT either. Roxy really does think that my apartment/room is HERS. She will not let another dog in. She has a hard time getting used to new dogs. She's fine with my labs because she's around them often. She's also okay with my boyfriend's dogs because she's around them enough too. I KNOW she won't be okay at first if she gets a dog. I don't want to have to deal with all of the fighting and barking and separating. I know over time she'll probably get used to and become friends with her dog, but it's not fair for me to keep Roxy locked up because another dog is coming into what she knows as HERS. So I told my friend that (in a shortened version). I also told her that if Roxy doesn't like her dog or if it's not working out, then she'll have to find other plans for HER dog, because Roxy is NOT going to be the one to leave. It's not fair. She's been there first, and for over a year. I once again told her that I'm not telling her no, but it's not just up to me.

She then started giving me the usual guilt trip and said she's over it. She's really upset, crying, blah blah. That she doesn't even want to think about it anymore. It's not fair for me to have a dog and for her not to be allowed. We continued to have a conversation and she just kept blaming EVERYTHING on ME. She ended the conversation by saying that if she can't have a dog, then Roxy shouldn't be allowed to stay either. She didn't make any indication that she's mad at my other roommates, just me. :hello1: WONDERFUL! Because I'm the only roommate that lives there.....? :confused: NOT!

I'm not worried about her taking action and turning me in for Roxy. She won't. We're best friends. But for her to even try to use that? I guess I can see where she's coming from. But it's not valid. She's moving into MY apartment. I'm not moving into hers. It was the decision of my other roommates too. Not just mine. If even one roommate doesn't want another dog, then she can't have one. One is already not allowed, and two is definitely super risky. If she gets caught having a dog, I'll have to take Roxy home, and that's not fair. The other thing that bothers me is that she isn't very responsible. She's very unorganized, messy, lazy, etc. I can't say for sure, but I know her VERY well... she will not take the time to properly train her dog. I do NOT want her dog teaching Roxy bad habits, such as barking or chewing things, etc. That will NOT be okay with me. So, all that will happen is it will create drama later on when we have to tell her that her dog can no longer stay in her apartment.

As you can see... there's ALREADY drama, and she doesn't even have the dog!

So, I'm kind of stuck as to what to do. Should I try to get my roommates to give in and allow her to have a dog on a trial basis? (The only thing about trial basis is that it will turn into a permanent thing...trust me). Or do I just let it go and let it play out on its own? It's just hard because for whatever the reason, I'm stuck in the middle. I'm the one being blamed. I'm the bad guy, when I'm not even the one that said NO! :confused: How does that happen?! She just doesn't realize that things can't always go her way. The world doesnt revolve around her (she thinks that though). That's my other roommates point though. She wants to stand her ground, because she really truly thinks it's a bad idea.

So ... what do I do? Am I wrong in this situation? I need your comments and thoughts! Please and thank you!!! :sad5:
 

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DO NOT GIVE IN!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have to realise one thing (no offence meant) but SHE IS USING YOU AS A DOORMAT! Do not convince your friends that will cause tension with them over her, over what seems like something you already no deep in your heart to be the very best situation for yourself roxy and alllll the other people/animals involved.

Also have you ever lived with a pommie? Not all but most like chi's can be very very vocal, you are fishing for trouble on this one. But I know that you already know this, you are letting her guilt you (btw not a friend thing to do!) I would love to know what's she's said to your friends if not a fight i'm sure she was like hey it's okay I get it" a lot of time that's what they do.


She will get over it tell her she has no other choice.
 

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I hate drama. And I'm old so I've learned to be a bit blunt. You may not like my solution, but here goes. :) DON'T let this girl move in with you. I would try my best to find someone else to share the apartment. She is not a friend good or otherwise, she is using you and trying to guilt you into getting her own way. It will not end well. Listen to your friends and boy friend. They see her for what she is, your too close to her. But, if you go through with it, no other dog. Put your foot down and respect the wishes of your roomates or there will be friction and you may find you and her are the only ones left in the apartment. It's not fair for them or you and you were there first.
 

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I hate drama. And I'm old so I've learned to be a bit blunt. You may not like my solution, but here goes. :) DON'T let this girl move in with you.

I was thinking the exact same thing
 

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Don't give in. I had Lion in an apartment I wasn't supposed to, but I got lucky, like you, and he never barked. It sucked. I had to sneak him out in a bag EVERY SINGLE DAY to take him on walks, and I had to be careful any time someone knocked on the door. I also had to be sure to keep extra $ in my savings account in case the management found out so I could move. I am glad we moved after a few months. It is very unlikely that your friends puppy will not bark. Explain to her that if she has to constantly hide her puppy, it will not be properly socialized. She will be unable to enjoy it like she wants to. If she is lazy and unorganized like you say, she will probably enjoy the puppy for a while but get bored or frustrated with it. Puppies pee on the carpet, poop on beds, whine, and bite. They need to be trained, walked, etc.
 

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I read the whole thing :) LOL I feel SO bad for you. I had a roommate like that at college and I could have strangled her. She was the kind of roommate who sulked when I got new jeans and she didn't, how life was sooo unfair, because I could afford new jeans, and she was so poor. That kind of thing...you know how they are.

First of all your friend doesn't want the other two roommates to realize what a whiney bitch she is. So she's whining and bitching to YOU, in hopes you will feel guilty and pull rank with your two original roommates. That's why YOU'RE the bad guy. She's doing what little kids do, when Daddy says no...they go cry to Mommy. Then Mom's the bad guy b'c mom didn't give it to them either...they've forgotten all about dad at that point kind of like this girl has forgotten about your roommates.

Honestly, I would not want to live with this girl...period. That said, I know that probably isn't even kind of an option at this point, but she could ruin your senior year of college and that sounds awful :( I think the best thing you could do is NOT have her move in. You're in a tough places because you are breaking the rules, but you are breaking them responsibly (sorta lol...I guess)...your dog isn't ruining anything and she is well trained, but from the sounds of it this girl isn't going to train her dog and that means it WILL ruin things. We had 6 dogs in our last condo before we bought our house, and were only supposed to have 2. So I know all about breaking the rules. I also knew we'd be replacing the carpet in "their" room when we moved out lol. It cost around $1200, and you know what, if your carpets need replaced when you move out, YOU will foot the bill and no one else, because YOUR dog was there the longest, whether it ever peed on the carpet or not. It won't be a shared responsibility or expense with your friend or HER puppy because "it was Roxy!".

The way I see it, either she doesn't move in, or...you move out? I guess you guys could get a smaller apartment that does allow dogs and both have your dogs. But that still leaves replacing ruined things. And puppies/dogs DO ruin things. I have ONE that doesn't, the other 8 I've owned have all been terrors. And I know how to raise/train a dog. Its just...the're dogs!

Poms are very very vocal as a breed. So, the puppy will likely have a lot to say, and honestly, will teach Roxy to be noisy too. To me its not worth the risk of getting caught and honestly, dealing with your "best friend". Tell your friend flat out no. Stop being a brat/baby, or, you don't want to live with her. She will throw a fit but she's the kind of person that gets over it. No one takes her stinks seriously if she's the kind to bitch either...it just sucks all around. I'm sorry I don't have any better insight or advice because I just wouldn't live with her at this point!
 

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Thank you all so much for responding! I seriously appreciate it and you have all given me great advice and insight so far!!! I will respond to all when I get a chance asap!

In the meantime, I would just like to add that me moving out or her not moving in is not an option at all, as leases have been signed and I really would have no where else to go. Everyone agrees to living arrangements and signs leases by like January before the next school year. It's insane. And it's SUPER hard to get out of any lease around here anyways! :(
 

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Seriously, thank you all for taking the time to read all of what I wrote and to reply! :hello1: It is very helpful just hearing your thoughts.

Also have you ever lived with a pommie? Not all but most like chi's can be very very vocal, you are fishing for trouble on this one. But I know that you already know this, you are letting her guilt you (btw not a friend thing to do!) I would love to know what's she's said to your friends if not a fight i'm sure she was like hey it's okay I get it" a lot of time that's what they do.
I have never lived with a pom. I've never even met a pom! But I have definitely heard that about them being vocal. I also heard that about chi's though, and Roxy is NOT like that at all, so I didn't want to jump to conclusions without knowing the dog. But you're right. I am letting her guilt me. I'd love to know what she's said to my other friends too. OBVIOUSLY she didn't say to them what she said to me, which is so rude! angry9:

Thanks for your advice! :)

Listen to your friends and boy friend. They see her for what she is, your too close to her. But, if you go through with it, no other dog. Put your foot down and respect the wishes of your roomates or there will be friction and you may find you and her are the only ones left in the apartment. It's not fair for them or you and you were there first.
I do think my friends are right. And so are you! I DO see her for what she really is, but it's hard to do anything about it, ya know? At least at this point in time. And you are reading my mind! I don't want friction between my other roommates, nor do I want to be left by myself in the apartment with her! LOL! Thanks for your tips! :D

If she is lazy and unorganized like you say, she will probably enjoy the puppy for a while but get bored or frustrated with it. Puppies pee on the carpet, poop on beds, whine, and bite. They need to be trained, walked, etc.
EXACTLY!!! You are so completely right! I think this is the main reason why we don't want her to have one there. Once she's bored with it, who will take care of it?? Not me or my other roommates!! But then again, I love dogs, so I'll feel bad for it and end up taking care of it... then that just creates more issues right there! Thanks for your insight! :hello1:

First of all your friend doesn't want the other two roommates to realize what a whiney bitch she is. So she's whining and bitching to YOU, in hopes you will feel guilty and pull rank with your two original roommates. That's why YOU'RE the bad guy.

I think the best thing you could do is NOT have her move in. You're in a tough places because you are breaking the rules, but you are breaking them responsibly (sorta lol...I guess)...your dog isn't ruining anything and she is well trained, but from the sounds of it this girl isn't going to train her dog and that means it WILL ruin things.

She will throw a fit but she's the kind of person that gets over it. No one takes her stinks seriously if she's the kind to bitch either...it just sucks all around. I'm sorry I don't have any better insight or advice because I just wouldn't live with her at this point!
LOL! Thanks for reading the WHOLE thing! ;) It's appreciated. So sorry that you had a terrible roommate too. Ugh. It seriously makes life so much more stressful at times!!

You just hit the nail right on the head... I already know she's a whiny brat, and my other roommates dont. Letting them know that would not be good for her!

I wish that her not moving in or me moving out was an option, but it's not at all. It's too late to find somewhere else, as every other apartment complex around my school is filled and I've already resigned my lease and everything. I am breaking the rules, but like you said, doing it responsibility (if that's possible ;)). I think that's her point ... if she can't have a dog, then neither can I. But she won't train her dog. I'm POSITIVE she won't. And since that's the case, I don't want it or her ruining my last two semesters, or to turn Roxy into a bad dog by teaching her bad habits. And I never even thought of the carpet issue. You're SO RIGHT! Ugh! That would totally happen too!

If Poms are noisy, then it DEFINITELY cannot be at our apartment. If it would teach Roxy to be noisy ..... I would be FURIOUS. And that's true too ... she will get over it! I think she already has, actually. Who knows though ... she's barely contacted me since! ;) Thanks for your thoughts and advice as well! It really is helpful to hear and realize that I'm right and I'm not the only person that thinks what I think! :D



I am afraid though that she is going to get the dog and keep it at her boyfriends for a while, but then start bringing it to our apartment to visit, and then it will end up staying there.................................... that'll be another issue. UGH! :foxes15:
 

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:hello1:maybe-if its ok w u-she could walk roxy once in a while,buy treats 4 her,etc.so she would feel shes part of a pups life.poms arent always vocal-chis seem 2 b much more vocalbut im not sure u can take a chance.i dont envy ur situation-i had 2 move out of an apt cuz the dog rule changed after id had a pom for 6mths.luckily,i had the money 2 move-at the new apt i had 2 pay a 500 fee 2 have a small dog.its very stressfu7l having 2 hide ur pup all the time n worry about other residents snitching.good luck.btw-if u r the only 1 out of ur group of friends who thinks she take3s advantage then she prob is.:D:D
 

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Oh wow. I read the whole thing... and I don't envy you. I know it's probably not what you want to hear but... friends like this aren't worth it. =/ I had a lot of friends where we had very similar relationships; had been friends for SOOO long, etc. but the fact is, in High School you don't have many options when it comes to your social group. You either choose from the people that also attend the school/classes; or you choose not to and end up a social outcast. In "the real world" (as opposed to HS) you have the whole world to choose from, or at least the whole city, or whatnot. Not just your classmates. And once that reality hits, you recognize how many of the "friendships" never had a strong base. Just because you SHARED a lot of time together; even years; doesn't mean that they are "true" friends. I'm sure you are realizing this already as you already seem to have a good grasp on your 'true friends' and your "best" (in quotes) friend lol.
Maybe I'm just a bit cold hearted. But I realized quickly after being out of school and in the real world that I actually have a choice what kind of people to surround myself with, to spend time with; people I actually have a lot in common with, respectful, etc. Life is too short to waste on selfish people who only cause drama, and try to make you feel obligated to "be there for them" when they constantly show you how rude, selfish, etc. they actually are. Even you said you "don't know why" she's your best friend. That realization hit me about a LOT of the people I used to spend time with. I quickly figured out how NEGATIVE of an influence they were on me. And realized there were a LOT more people out there that actually cared about me; considered others needs along with their own, etc.

So, hit the #*^&$ to the curb and tell her she can find her own place and have all the untrained dogs she wants. =P

I'm only 25 but I've already "dusted my skirt clean" of some of the people that used to impact my life, and I can't rave enough about it. And I STILL have some of my TRUE High School friends that I keep in touch and spend time with along with all the new people I've met.

Fact is if she's reached a point where she's causing you enough drama to post about it, it's not worth it! YOU have been responsible and take care of YOUR dog to where it's not an issue. A real friend would not act the way she is... and let me tell you, cutting the ties of fake friends was the best thing I ever did.
 

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I hate drama. And I'm old so I've learned to be a bit blunt. You may not like my solution, but here goes. :) DON'T let this girl move in with you. I would try my best to find someone else to share the apartment. She is not a friend good or otherwise, she is using you and trying to guilt you into getting her own way. It will not end well. Listen to your friends and boy friend. They see her for what she is, your too close to her. But, if you go through with it, no other dog. Put your foot down and respect the wishes of your roomates or there will be friction and you may find you and her are the only ones left in the apartment. It's not fair for them or you and you were there first.
I'm with Pam. I wouldn't let her move in. She's already caused so much drama. You were there first so I guess you have the right to set the rules.
 

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Putting in my 2 cents, as a dog trainer and a pet-sitter who has worked with many Poms, I have NEVER encountered one that wasn't EXTREMELY vocal! Seriously, every single Pom has been yipper. They bark at every little thing, and it is not a sound you can ignore. It is a high pitched and high decibel sound that will get on even the most patient person's nerves. Your friend has no idea what she is getting into. Poms need a lot of training to control their urge to bark and yip and your friend does not have the capability to put in the time and work to make this puppy a nice one. The Poms I have worked with have run every part of the spectrum, but the constant is that the nice ones had dedicated and hard working owners who put the time and effort into making their dogs wonderful little companions. The lazy and irresponsible owners let their dogs turn into adorable, fluffy terrors. The only dog who has the ability to give me a headache with their high pitched bark faster is an American Eskimo, and even then it's a toss up.

Be strong! Say no! It isn't that Poms can't be wonderful little dogs, it's just that they need the right owners to make that happen, and there is no way that your friend will make that happen.
 
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