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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
OK, so we all know that the "New Zealand Green Lipped Mussel" is being heralded as the next, latest, greatest cure-all for all ills known to mankind & Chi's.

NOT just any mussel people, oh no, no, no .... it's very definitely ONLY the not so humble, nor small, NZGLM that is purportedly a heaven-sent miracle cure. Afterall, ZiwiPeak put it in their food, Pet Stores sell about 10 dehydrated crumbly, washed out looking ones for around $15+ and Scientists all over the world ponder and debate this miracle creature's very juices because there's also a very, very crooked industry lurking within, whereby some of it's body parts are sold as being full of the beneficial "stuff" when, in fact, that's already been sucked and or stripped out & sold to someone else in a different form .... ummm, aarrrgh, crooks in the world of NZGLM hey, whoever would've thunk it??? A search on google will reveal I do not speak with forked tongue about these sordid and very crooked practices.

So, surprise, surprise, our Woolworths supermarket sell frozen, whole UNTAMPERED with by the crooks ones by the kilo for a mere $5. I snatch 2kg as a trial thinking only of how much money I'm going to save, how smart I am to outsmart those crooks stripping the good body parts & leaving the crap ones in disguise only and how my babies are going to adore these even more than my dehydrated liver, kidney & jerky treats. Heck, next week I can see me ordering 10kg, so I thought.

Have any of you ever bought any of the expensive already dehydrated ones in the store & fed them? Did your dogs love/like/hate them? Surely we cannot be Robinson Crusoe here?

I can't tell you all how much I loathed & detested "shucking"(?) 2kgs (about 36) of these ginormously huge, hideous, grotesque, filthy, stinking, slimy, weird plant attachment growing out of every single one of them, did I mention slimy & stinking things.

Nevermind, I pressed on, fighting the urge to pass out, safe in the knowledge that all my gagging, heaving & wretching would all be worth it in the long run when each of my babies delicately took a mussel, held it tenderly in their little paws and licked it with rapture as they savoured every morsel of this equisitely rare & expensive gift their mother had sacrificed life and limb to bring to them.

I offered them a green "natural" one - ok, so it didn't look the best, but who would've thought a bleedin' dog would care about the aesthetics of their food - yes they're pukeworthy to look at, but do we look at Oysters before throwing 'em back, I don't think so!!!! They all just sat there looking up at me as though I'd taken complete leave of my senses and then all turned their heads away from me as they all delicately used their paws to wipe the clear slime off their noses and then just to be sure, all over their minky blankies.

Snort, you'll see, you wretched, ungratefuful little toads, mummy will give them the once over just like she does that disgusting liver & kidney she makes for you, even if she is suffering 100 times worse dealing with these extraterrestial beings with an odour that could be bottled and marketed as a weapon of mass destruction, and then you'll prance around excitedly doing anything and everything just for a morsel from Mars, sorry, New Zealand.

Fast-forward to this a.m. as I excitedly lift the lid off the dehydrator (the feeling is as joyous and akin to lifting the lid on one's pottery kiln). Oh god I wish I'd taken photos of every step of this procedure from start to finish. Thankfully I used one of the solid plastic inserts that you dehydrate pureed fruit-rollups on. I ended up with a solid mass of congealed, still highly putrid to the nostrils, crispy (mostly) indescribabe goop that I would defy CSI's forensics lab to identify.

I joyfully snapped them off a small taste each, we went through the treat ritual of come (from the other end of the house, thereby interrupting their happy play), sit, wait, eat it .... have you ever witnessed 4 Chis simulataneously take something into their mouth expectantly, and within a nan-second, simultaneously all spit it out with absolute disgust and horror, as though I'd tried to poison them? They've spent the rest of the morning strutting around looking like they've been sucking on lemons, and oh, the way they look at me with one eyebrow raised, I'm feeling like I don't belong here.

Hmm, all that work, that effort, that love, that running electricity all damn night that'll cost a bleedin' bomb, all that good intention was for nought, gaaaarrrgh. I thought, before hurling them in the trash in disgust, I'd offer them to my garbarge guts Mastiffs. Well, my oh my, like any food matter whatsoever, be it alive or dead, they adored them - I say that without qualification because when they take treats they don't actually touch the sides as they're inhaled out of mid air & end up in the stomach before even they are aware of it - I don't think they've ever experienced taste in their lives. Infact, I'm positive I could actually give them to them shells & all and they would love them raw - wonders if the chips from shells ingested could cause peritonitis, hmm, I guess I'd just shuck them for them but no more pi$$ing around in the least used room in my house (the kitchen) ever again with these evil offerings.

So, learn from my mistakes ladies, leave those vile things alone - if they're on the beach, leave them there, if they're in a store freezer, stay away, if someone offers you some fresh ones, decline! Most importantly, don't complain about the cost of them on the store shelves until you've attempted to do them at home. I'd ask a pet store to sell me a single one the next time they're bagging them up because to part with <>$17 for something that's got every chance of being spat at you, as only a Chi can do, is too far much financial risk for moi!
 

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LOL DEE!!! Best laugh of the day. Loved it. :) Too bad the dogs didn't. ha ha ha
 

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Oh, Dee, I must say one thing: Better you than me!

All of that energy, time, and money spent! Little spoiled Chis. Glad the Mastiffs got a nice snack.

Today, I was eating Goldfish and holding Toby. He accidently got one out of my hand. I thought he would swallow it whole, it being tasty human food and all. Nope- he spit it out! Silly, spoiled little Chi! He'd rather have his "Bambi" (aka Ziwipeak). "Bambi" is the god-awful nickname that my dad came up with for the Venison ZP, and it has caught on.
 

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Oh my goodness Dee, my stomach hurts from laughing at your misery! :lol: ;)
I love you woman, your brilliant stories always make my day!
It wasn't a total waste, your Mastiffs ate them, all is good.



Ashley, I did not know people ate Goldfish. :eek:
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Today, I was eating Goldfish and holding Toby. He accidently got one out of my hand.
Ash, w-w-w-w-what do you mean you "were eating Goldfish". Tell me please that this is some American shortbread, a cookie, gum, candy stick anything other than what I am imagining .... honestly, the thought of this makes my dealings with the mussels quite pleasant by comparison!!!

I breed very special Ranchu & Oranda Goldfish and the thought of anyone eating them, well, it turns my tummy. Reminds me, I've got to surgically remove a whole lot of one's Wen very soon so that he can see again - it's done with a scalpal holdig him down on a wet towel. I could dehydrate that & send it on over to you?
 

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Ash, w-w-w-w-what do you mean you "were eating Goldfish". Tell me please that this is some American shortbread, a cookie, gum, candy stick anything other than what I am imagining .... honestly, the thought of this makes my dealings with the mussels quite pleasant by comparison!!!

I breed very special Ranchu & Oranda Goldfish and the thought of anyone eating them, well, it turns my tummy. Reminds me, I've got to surgically remove a whole lot of one's Wen very soon so that he can see again - it's done with a scalpal holdig him down on a wet towel. I could dehydrate that & send it on over to you?


They are a cheese flavored cracker:

Google Image Result for http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/0d/Goldfish-Crackers.jpg/300px-Goldfish-Crackers.jpg
 

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Yeah, as Missy said they are like a not so good for you cracker type thing shaped like a goldfish. My dad had them when he was here and I am trying desperately to get rid of them. So, I had furniture people here swapping out a damaged dining room table for a new one, so I offered them to them. I ate a couple, too.

I promise they never saw a day in water :)

And Dee, thanks for the offer but... um, no thanks!
 

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Ash, w-w-w-w-what do you mean you "were eating Goldfish". Tell me please that this is some American shortbread, a cookie, gum, candy stick anything other than what I am imagining .... honestly, the thought of this makes my dealings with the mussels quite pleasant by comparison!!!

I breed very special Ranchu & Oranda Goldfish and the thought of anyone eating them, well, it turns my tummy. Reminds me, I've got to surgically remove a whole lot of one's Wen very soon so that he can see again - it's done with a scalpal holdig him down on a wet towel. I could dehydrate that & send it on over to you?
This really did make me laugh so hard I about fell out of my chair! Do ya'll not have those tiny little gold crackers shaped like goldfish in Australia called Goldfish? I think it is so facinating how things are so different in different parts of the world. Of course, my husband is sitting right hear and he thought I was talking about real goldfish too. lol
 

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This really did make me laugh so hard I about fell out of my chair! Do ya'll not have those tiny little gold crackers shaped like goldfish in Australia called Goldfish? I think it is so facinating how things are so different in different parts of the world. Of course, my husband is sitting right hear and he thought I was talking about real goldfish too. lol
Tina, I didn't even think about it! It's a super popular snack where I live. So many US products are global, I guess I assumed those sneaky, addicting little goldfish were one of them!!!
 

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Tina, I didn't even think about it! It's a super popular snack where I live. So many US products are global, I guess I assumed those sneaky, addicting little goldfish were one of them!!!
Well, I guess I know about Goldfish because I'm the grocery shopper. Darling hubby gets to pull a Paris Hilton. He doesn't know what they sell at Wal-Mart since he doesn't ever have to step foot in there.
 

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Oh thank god, I thought you were eating the cute little Goldfish, lol.
...silly Russian immigrant moment...or a blonde moment...lol :rolleyes:
 

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Well, I guess I know about Goldfish because I'm the grocery shopper. Darling hubby gets to pull a Paris Hilton. He doesn't know what they sell at Wal-Mart since he doesn't ever have to step foot in there.
Hey now, I go to Walmart every second week and had no idea about the
fish, I don't even look in the junk food aisle. Cut hubby some slack. ;)
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 · (Edited)
Oh thank god, I'd started to wonder if they were jerkyfied, freeze dried, crispy deepfried, battered or sushi style :)

LOL Nooooo, we'all do not have them here, hence my shock & horror! About the ONLY American foods we have here is Oreos, more's the pity, imo they're horrible moreish little things, and maybe a few specialty mustards in up-market suburbs, thank goodness.

I say, "thank goodness" because generally, as a country, we're much more of a a'la'naturale, healthy, kinda place where we tend to eat our lamb/beef & 3 veg in colder months and b-b-que or grilled and salad in warmer months.

Perish the thought that we would ever have cheese in a spray can, or even half of the other saturated fat laden "oddities" you guys have isles and isles of in your supermarkets. Most of our isles are full of "fat free", "low fat", "lite" etc with virtually no shelf space for full fat yoghurts etc.

Hotdogs are a relative rarity over here, but are of course, in those dreadful Donut Booths such as Wendy's etc. but any sensible "nice" Aussies avoid them like the plague because it's like eating synthetic nothingness.

I'm pretty sure if you asked them, the average True Blue AUSSIE Born & Bred family (a fairly rare commodity in itself these days depending on where you live) would be only too happy to all chip in up to $500 ea if it meant McDonalds & KFC (to a lesser extent) were deported unceremoniously, especially those damned golden arches that we all love to hate so much - I don't know how many blood vessels I've popped screaming at my kids, "Read my lips, you are NOOOOOOOOOOOT having Mc-Rotten-Stinking-Donalds, do you hear me!!!!" - they might not have, but everyone at the traffic lights and within 20' of the car did and are all giving the thumbs up! Burger King (or Hungry Jacks as it's called here) can stay, they're ok.

You do have 2 things I'll never stop craving for = Taco Bell & Mesquite Sauce :) Once I get to a Taco Bell I literally have to be assisted out. Went to one in Manila, well think I did, unless it was a pretend copy type one, and it was 'orrible!!!!
 

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I don't blame them Dee! I have not much cartlidge in my knee from a horseriding accident and since I'm allergic to crustaceans which is what glucosamine is made from I got told to take green lipped mussel oil capsules instead. Well I only ever got through the one box because they were so vile. I would gag even before I got one in my mouth because of the smell and I had to wash them down with gallons of orange juice to get rid of the taste and then they would repeat on me for the next 6 hours - horriffic!!!!!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Oh god forbid Sarah, how putrid!!! Yup, the Mussels at Bow House are looking pretty damn fine - you would've missed my last post because you were typing - agree? Disagree? I'm interested to know Shoe Lady :)
 
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