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Discussion Starter #1
So my dad has a 'trade' relationship with a guy who owns an italian restaurant/pizza joint. He has traded vet services/grooming etc for YEARS (20+ years) with this guy, well I just found out my SIL has been using the trade quite a bit lately for food(like 3-4x a week) as they've been struggling financially (my brother has 2 jobs, she REFUSES to work), and the owner of the restaurant wanted to settle thing up with my dad to see where the account stood, so put a hold on trading things....so she got peeved when they told her, no more trading until they get it settled, so she threw her hands up in the air, was really rude, and told them "well my father in law says you guys owe him lots of money so it's okay". OMG seriously? My dad had NO idea they were using it this much, they used to call before they used it. The owner of the restaurant, called and is coming over to settle (See how much they've traded compared to where we are at with what they owe my dad) this afternoon, and isn't sure he wants to continue trading since she was so rude. GRRRRRR!!!!!!!! Just frustrates the crap out of me, they are AWESOME clients, they even bought one of my Westie pups several years ago, hoping to 'smooth' things out this afternoon, wish me luck. I will be so peeved if they decide no more trading. Any ideas on how to smooth things over with him?
 

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Ugh that isn't pleasant at all, but I know where you're coming from. My OH's family owns an old local restaurant as well and they do trade type relationships too with many different people in the community - You'd be surprised how many people try to abuse it.

I understand it's family, but you certainly don't want to lose the clientele either. I'd be straightforward with him, apologize of course, and try to do what's in your power to set it right again.

Then step 2 would be to set her straight, and quickly.
 

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I agree with Amanda, I would explain as honestly as you can, and apologise
I would also ban the SIL from using the trade. What a COW!
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Thank-you. It just really irritates me, she is a VERY sore spot in the family at the moment, my brother is struggling so hard, is working 2 full time jobs to try and support their family, they have 2 kids, live in a house they can't afford, and she absolutely REFUSES to work as she wants to be a stay at home mom, doesn't want to pay for daycare, yet spends money like crazy, keeps trying to get pregnant (she's had multiple miscarriages), and just drives me bonkers.....sorry for Venting. My dad had NO idea she was so rude about it, but he's definitely going to talk to her, no more trading from her/my brother without my dad being there, and he's going to call the owner of the restaurant tomorrow to try to smooth things over.
 

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Thank-you. It just really irritates me, she is a VERY sore spot in the family at the moment, my brother is struggling so hard, is working 2 full time jobs to try and support their family, they have 2 kids, live in a house they can't afford, and she absolutely REFUSES to work as she wants to be a stay at home mom, doesn't want to pay for daycare, yet spends money like crazy, keeps trying to get pregnant (she's had multiple miscarriages), and just drives me bonkers.....sorry for Venting. My dad had NO idea she was so rude about it, but he's definitely going to talk to her, no more trading from her/my brother without my dad being there, and he's going to call the owner of the restaurant tomorrow to try to smooth things over.
This sounds like a crappy situation, may I ask how old the children are?
 

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Discussion Starter #7
This sounds like a crappy situation, may I ask how old the children are?
One is 5 years old the other is 3 years old. My mom lives close and has offered to babysit no charge so they don't have to pay for daycare.
 

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Ok I was going to say, they are young and daycare is very expensive it's almost never worth it to pay for daycare you pay almost all of your wages sometimes.
But since your mother has offered to babysit no charge I have no idea what is wrong with that woman :lol:

I wish I had a mother who would do that!!! :lol:
 

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The fact that your mother has OFFERED to babysit and she refuses it is beyond me.

It's good for the children to be social and interact, a little "daycare" or away time is good for them to socialize! Why wouldn't she want at least a part time job?!

L-a-z-y is the answer.

My OH's mom was a stay at home mom most all of their lives and they were "dirtball" for a long time when they were young, but they had to live to their means which reflected it. She worked jobs here and there to help them get where they are now but it was a long sucky road to get there.

Your SIL sounds like a bit of a waste - sorry to sound rude, I would never let my OH work that much and mooch of HIS FAMILY none-the-less.

Mommy-hood is a full time job sure, but it's just a struggle we woman have to accept that sometimes, that fulltime job needs to be coupled with another p/t or f/t job.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Oh she drives me INSANE, I just can't believe that she WON'T work when she could have free daycare by my mom, I plan on working when I have kids, I think I would go INSANE if I didn't....sorry that's just who I am. My hubby told me if I ever did this to him he would kick my A$$ big time, and I told him I would deserve it. We both work full time at the moment. I just feel so bad for my brother as he's trying so hard, he is actually a 2nd in command Manager at a grocery store and then another grocery store (same chain...he was actually 2nd manager there before transferred to another store who needed his help shaping up) as the 2nd job he is a bagger/checker to try to make ends meet.
 

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The Nerve!!! Is right! My gosh i don't understand some people! Wish I could help but I hope it goes smoothly for you all! Good luck! The part where your mom has kindly offered to babysit for free is amazing! NOT everybody has a mom out there that would do that you think if they are struggling that much you take any little thing that could and WOULD help! Day care is unreal! That would really tick me off!
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Whew.....that went better than expected. He knows he owes us more than we owe him, so wants to try to stop trading at the moment, then we are going to reconcile after the first of the year and see where we are at, but he wants to only trade with my dad so if my brother wants food he's going to have to go through my dad. I guess she threw her little tirade in front of some other customers too......SO NOT GOOD.
 

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Whew.....that went better than expected. He knows he owes us more than we owe him, so wants to try to stop trading at the moment, then we are going to reconcile after the first of the year and see where we are at, but he wants to only trade with my dad so if my brother wants food he's going to have to go through my dad. I guess she threw her little tirade in front of some other customers too......SO NOT GOOD.
Ugh, good and bad to hear Heather.

Glad he's at least being somewhat understanding as far as reconcile goes. She should have known better. The nerve is very right, she needs to grow up.

Hope it works out hun.
 
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