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Okay, back story, 8 months ago right after we got married we somehow got suckered into teaching the 2-6 year olds Sunday school. For the most part we just let them do organized play, but we usually do a craft, a short story, and snack time too.

Well...ever since we started, we have always had 1-2 parents/grandparents that just...hang out. And sometimes interrupt what we are doing to "change" the way we are doing it. It really kind of bugs me. First of all, they are tiny kids and I have 2 year olds and 6 year olds and their interests/attention spans are totally different, so duh, of course not all of them will sit still for the story or be quiet...and second of all, we're the teachers, not them. No one asked for their help, no one asked them to stay, and the kid they are staying with isn't even a kid that needs to be stayed with. So...why the heck are they staying?

Its like they are staying just because they don't think we are doing a good enough job. But all the kids ADORE us and are so happy when we are the teachers (prob cuz we just let them play?? ha). Our attendance has doubled since we started, just because the kids tell their parents they want to come. There is one grandmother, in particular, who stays every Sunday and just...randomly interrupts how we are doing things to change it.

Now we don't have kids. We really didn't even want to teach Sunday school. But we are because its kinda fun and whatever, not too serious. (Oh, and I stink at saying "no" to anyone). But I don't understand why if these people are so desperate to tell us how to do things/don't think we are doing a good enough job, why they don't just do it themselves? When the coordinator has asked them to help they say they definitely don't want to/don't have time.

I want a nice way to tell them that it's not OK for them to stay. Because it's distracting, makes it far less enjoyable for me/hubby, and the kids are confused by it too. We want to have fun and love on the kids and play with them and send them back to their parents w/ a smile and sooooo what if they didn't sit still or even listen to the story, and soooo what if they didn't complete their craft perfectly...and sooooooo what if I gave Johnny lots of animal crackers & string cheese at snack b'c he was hungry and his parents don't feed him breakfast?

Anyway, just wondering what you guys would do? And if you're a mom/grandmom, can you at least help me understand why these people just don't leave, ever? Don't they realize they are hurting their kids by thinking they can't even be away from them for 1 whole hour? Argh.:foxes15::foxes15::foxes15:
 

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What's the teacher to student ratio? Maybe they feel their are to many kids and not enough adults to look after the kids???
Maybe they have trust issues? Are bored and have nothing else to do? Simply feel your not teaching them?
Idk?
I'd put them to work! Set up a craft station in a far corner, and have that person work the station. Send them kids continually to keep them occupied and out of your hair. If that doesnt work send each child home with a note saying that parent help is no longer needed during Sunday school. Thank you to all that have helped. Something along those lines. :)
 

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Great ideas from Lisa!!!

I agree with having a craft station and having them man it. Or put them at the snack station. Then say "since you're such a good help - we thought we'd give you a job to do! We want you to do the snack time this week. Here's the stuff!" I think that's a brilliant suggestion!

Or let them do the story time, or whatever.

This is the AGE of helicopter parenting and I can see it's extending to grandparents too. They want to just hang out with their kids all the time. Hovering over them and making sure that they supervise everything. It's absolutely FRUSTRATING AND RIDICULOUS!

I don't think you will be able to convince them to leave. If they are there - they want to be there and telling them not to stay might cause more problems than it's worth. So I'd just engage them and put them to work!!!
 

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I agree with the above suggestions, if they want to help so bad put them to work; it may actually work in your favor and run them off and let you actually teach.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
The child - teacher ratio (we have teen helpers) is generally 1:3. So its not like we are overrun.

The grandma in question...we've asked her to help with something like snack etc etc and she just says "well today I am going to stay w/ _______ but maybe next week". lol.


HELICOPTER PARENTING...thats exactly what it is!! its soooo annoying.

Really the bottom line is I don't want her in there, so maybe the note idea is better. They already sent a note out to all the parents though asking that the parents do not stay for sunday school as the only adults allowed in the room are those who have completed background checks, but...didn't really solve the problem :-/

Bottom line is if you just want to be with the kids all the time why not just stay home with them on the living room floor...
 

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I didnt even think of it from a safety standpoint, Im sure grandma wouldnt like it if someones creepy uncle wanted to stay for 2-6 yo sunday school every week! Is there someone more "in charge" who you could talk to? Whoever organizes it and sent home the notes to begin with. If that lady bothers you and isnt even allowed to be there, then Id complain to someone in charge that shes a distraction/ disruption and let them do the dirty work of asking her to leave. Maybe they could find a job for her elsewhere in the church that she could be occupied with while sunday school is in session. If it were me as things were getting started and all the kids had shown up Id be tempted to say something like "Hi everyone, welcome, its time to get things started so at this time can any parents etc who arent signed up as volunteers please wait in the hall?" lol, but thats just me. I would just be so irritated by someone who thinks shes special and the rules dont apply to them. Youve asked her to help and she seriously says no thanks?! Id enjoy kicking her out ;)
 

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Or, you could pull her aside at the start and say something like a few parents have been concerned about adults staying for sunday school who arent approved volunteers, and youre sorry but you have to ask that if she wants to continue to stay, she go talk to whoever the person is in charge about getting her signed up to volunteer b/c you have no choice but to follow the rules. Just be casual about it and make her feel like you think its silly but she needs to be signed up as a volunteer to stay. That way worst case scenario she does and youre stuck with her as a volunteer, or ideally she doesnt bother. At the very least she will be complaining to someone else rather than you.
Make hubby do it if you dont feel comfortable!
 

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Great suggestions Katy!!! :)
 

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Hmmmm sounds very bizarre!! I wonder if this is the only time this granny sees hergrandchild??

I'd speak to whoever organises it and pass the buck explain that you and hubby feel very uncomfortable and it's making your job hard work and frankly you are volunteering you at least wanna be comfortable in it they should then basically say no one is to stay unless they're approved to work there

Good on you both though you're such nice people no one round here unless they wanted to be a nun under the age of 45 would volunteer to help out at Sunday school!!
 

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UGH...I so know what you mean! I taught preschool for a few years & my boss & I hated when parents hung around. It totally interupted class time & distracted the kids. My only thought is maybe you guys could come up with a list of "rules" & hand it to all the parents/grandparents stating you're trying to reorganize the way Sunday school is run in order to add some structure & keep the kids interest in the right place. ??? I don't understand why people would hang around. Isn't the basic point of Sunday school (other than teaching) is to keep the kids entertained so the parents/grandparents can attend church? LOL I don't get people some times....
 

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My question is Why isn't the old bag in her own sunday school class? :laughing7: Is this her way of avoiding it? ;) I am evil i know! lol
I would tell her that you feel that her being in there is a distraction and you would appreciate it if she would let you do your job and she can go ahead and go to "HER" class or w.e. Grrr! That would make me super mad too, esp since she refuses to help.
Kick her to the curb Kristi! :laughing8:
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Hmmmm sounds very bizarre!! I wonder if this is the only time this granny sees hergrandchild??

I'd speak to whoever organises it and pass the buck explain that you and hubby feel very uncomfortable and it's making your job hard work and frankly you are volunteering you at least wanna be comfortable in it they should then basically say no one is to stay unless they're approved to work there

Good on you both though you're such nice people no one round here unless they wanted to be a nun under the age of 45 would volunteer to help out at Sunday school!!
No she freaking lives with the grandkids!!! Shes not super old either. It irks me. LOL we maybe didn't want to teach the kids but sort of got suckered into it, its sort of maybe mostly the only sundays we go ha ha ha shhhhhhh. Its fun and all so we've kept at it, as the kids really are pretty cute and good birth control too.

UGH...I so know what you mean! I taught preschool for a few years & my boss & I hated when parents hung around. It totally interupted class time & distracted the kids. My only thought is maybe you guys could come up with a list of "rules" & hand it to all the parents/grandparents stating you're trying to reorganize the way Sunday school is run in order to add some structure & keep the kids interest in the right place. ??? I don't understand why people would hang around. Isn't the basic point of Sunday school (other than teaching) is to keep the kids entertained so the parents/grandparents can attend church? LOL I don't get people some times....

I don't KNOW !! Go away or go somewhere WITH the kids other than where we are!!

Maybe they hate church lol.

My question is Why isn't the old bag in her own sunday school class? :laughing7: Is this her way of avoiding it? ;) I am evil i know! lol
I would tell her that you feel that her being in there is a distraction and you would appreciate it if she would let you do your job and she can go ahead and go to "HER" class or w.e. Grrr! That would make me super mad too, esp since she refuses to help.
Kick her to the curb Kristi! :laughing8:

HAHAHAHAAAA the old bag. Now I was trying to be nicer than that...

But seriously, shes not supposed to be in there, we had to have freaking background checks, but she just gets to waltz in? I mean I think its just a bit obsessive, I understand parents that stay the first sunday, totally. I do NOT understand people that are there EVERY SINGLE SUNDASY.
 

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I'm thinking the same Cheryl, seems she just doesn't want to be in her own class.

When I was young I very went to church with our neighbors who were LDS and they broke off into separate groups like such, and thinking back there were always 1-2 moms/aunts/grans that'd sit in and interrupt.

Must be all too common.

We know you're sooo nice but come on, don't let it stress you out and just take it! Get superiors involved and get it dealt with, all your logic is correct, she shouldn't be there.
 

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I'm thinking the same Cheryl, seems she just doesn't want to be in her own class.

When I was young I very went to church with our neighbors who were LDS and they broke off into separate groups like such, and thinking back there were always 1-2 moms/aunts/grans that'd sit in and interrupt.

Must be all too common.

We know you're sooo nice but come on, don't let it stress you out and just take it! Get superiors involved and get it dealt with, all your logic is correct, she shouldn't be there.
TRUE DAT!! ;) Or..you and miles could break into an impromptu chorus of "hit the road jack". :laughing8:
 

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TRUE DAT!! ;) Or..you and miles could break into an impromptu chorus of "hit the road jack". :laughing8:

omigoodness. LOL.
Kristi, sounds like you should just save a few pennies, fly Cheryl over, and she'll lasso granny and drag her out the church!!! ;)
Problem solved.
 

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Do you have such a thing as a CRB check like we do in the UK, you cant stay ina room with children even if your related to the other kids without one .. I volunteer at the Parent Teacher Room at Local School and Youth Club, we all have to have a CRB Check and when parents / grandparents stick around we just explain that they cant due to this.. it usually does the trick, some were a bit off and took the kids away but its actually for the benifit of the child/children at the end of the day.

About CRB
 
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